I'm ready for bed - ask me anything sexual

[ulysses]

until 2am, eastern. :D

[Fixated]

1. ...

Do you have a penis or a vagina?

[ulysses]

2. Penis.

[Occulus]

5. Do you care

if your blowjob is from a guy or a girl? After all, it feels the same......




.......from what I understand. :)

[ulysses]

8. never been a big fan, actually.

I've always been a "give pleasure" groupie. :)

[Occulus]

12. Oh, but

giving and receiving at the same time is so pleasurable. So is giving and receiving, and receiving. :)

[ulysses]

15. well, ok

If we're talking about 69, we're talking about duo fellatio, and I'm not gay, so yes, I do care. :)

[angee_is_mad]

51. lol

That's a good thing 2 know!!!!

[Lady Freedom]

67. How big is it?

:evilgrin:

[ulysses]

68. as Margaret Cho would say

I'm a grower, not a shower.

:7

[Lady Freedom]

69. Hummmmmm

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Um are you gonna do something with it if I do?

[ulysses]

9. if you do what?

;-)

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. If I ask you something sexual!!!

I mean if I help you get a chubby, I want to know that my energies were well...um...spent.

[ulysses]

17. Like I don't already

have a rich fantasy life involving you. :D What were you going to ask?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

18. If you were wearing underwear

[ulysses]

21. yup, boxers.

I'm not *that* ready for bed...

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

26. Would you remove them if I asked you to

*soft porn music streams in background*

[ulysses]

27. I would prance naked in the front yard for you, yes

:D

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

30. OK big boy

off with the skivvies :D and push them through the puter to prove it's real (no skid marks please..too late for me to fill out an accident investigation report)

[ulysses]

32. hang on...

:evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

34. Ok now go to the front yard....

and prance for me...do it on the web cam so I will know you love me..oh and tell the neighbors NSMA says "hey"

[ulysses]

41. I'm afraid it's not very enlightening

We do what we can, though. :7

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

47. Reminds me of an old Sophie Tucker joke

[ulysses]

48. (all in unison)

WHAT WAS THE OLD SOPHIE TUCKER JOKE?

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

59. I can't remember the first part of it but the punchline

was something about munching grass.

[ronnykmarshall]

71. I know that joke

I was in the woods last night with m' boyfriend Ernie and said to me "Soph, these wood sure are dark I wish I had a flash light!" I said to him "So do I Erine, you've munching grass for the last TEN minutes!"

[ForrestGump]

70. This is where Forrest ducks out of reading this thread.....

*gulp*

[Exultant Democracy]

4. is it rude to wake up your date for more sex?

[ulysses]

10. nope.

:D

[Exultant Democracy]

16. eh, I can't do it, I would feel bad.

Maybe in the morning.

[ulysses]

19. I guess it would depend

I've always found "hey, wake up!" sex to be pretty profound, though.

[Lady Freedom]

72. That would depend...

on the date. If it was me, Please wake me up!:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

73. It's rude to let her fall asleep

in the first place.

[Lady Freedom]

74. That's right!

[Catherine Vincent]

6. Okay, I'll bite.

This is a silly question but how come when guys give themselves hand jobs they always say they don't want to grow hair on the palm of their hands. How does that happen?

[Occulus]

7. It doesn't.

Wive's tale. I've killed more kittens than I can count.....
on edit: but we do get a weird sense of euphoria and release after... um... jerking off....

[Sperk]

14. but we do get a weird sense of euphoria and release after... um... jerking

Kind of the point, isn't it? ;)

[ulysses]

13. It doesn't

One of those "you'll go blind" myths. :)

[DemoTex]

20. Be careful U.

Contemplation of Masturbation is a crime in Alabama. Completion of the act will get you 5-10 at Draper. You are in Alabama, aren't you?

:evilgrin:

[ulysses]

22. nope, Georgia

Home of the Bowers of Bowers v. Hardwick - the prosecutor who pursued a conviction in a gay anal sex case before the USSC while he was boinking his secretary.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

28. Yeah but the 'bama cops have to stop jacking off long enough

to come get you :evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

23. Do you like women that like to be playful?

[ulysses]

24. yup.

:7

[Lady Freedom]

25. How playful could, say it was me, get?

:evilgrin:

[Lady Freedom]

29. scare you off...

I am soooo evil at times!

[ulysses]

31. I'm not sure

Try me. (Backchannel if necessary, the mods are having kittens about now I'd imagine)

[SOteric]

33. Oh sure. And I log on at exactly 2:00 a.m. Eastern

:P

[ulysses]

35. I'm still here

Trying to find a disk for the digicam so I can prove something to nsma. :D

[SOteric]

37. Well then, -

tell us if you have any erogenous zones other than the more obvious places.


...and with the pertinent exception of your front yard...

[ulysses]

49. almost forgot this

My fingers, unless that's an obvious place...

[SOteric]

50. No that's a bit less obvious

but interesting.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

36. Don't worry...there are some altruistic DU'ers

that would be more than happy to get you ready for bed too :D

[SOteric]

38. I do not have a front yard...

and it's amazingly hot here. So there's very little you can yet request the removal of. :7

[Lady Freedom]

39. I'm one!

I don't go with look BTW. I believe that every man is a work of art and must be treated that way. Even when "helping" them to bed!

[SOteric]

40. Cool.

If I were a man, I'd be proud to know ya! :hi:

[Lady Freedom]

43. Thank YOU!

[SOteric]

42. You know...

I think I still have a semi-topless photo of you kicking around my web graphics files somewhere....

[ulysses]

44. heh!

This one?

[SOteric]

45. OhYeah. *swoon*

If you figure in my dreams this evening it will be entirely your own fault.

[Lady Freedom]

46. Prrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Me like!:loveya:

[Lady Freedom]

53. I'm having trouble seeing all the posts on this tread? Whats Up?

[Lady Freedom]

54. Never mind. I found the problem

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

52. Wow!

a nipple shot!

[ulysses]

55. I traipse into my front yard

with the digicam in hand, take an overexposed shot of my ass, and you're only impressed with a nine-year-old nipple shot??

Jeez...

[Lady Freedom]

57. I missed that one!

must find!

[Lady Freedom]

62. I can't see anything!

:argh: Darn it!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

58. You do have a nice lawn tho!

[ulysses]

61. I try to keep it cut short

It gets out of hand at times, though...

[SOteric]

60. If you want her undivided attention...

try flashing a set of these:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

64. I'm all ears

I mean eyes...I mean wet!

[LincolnMcGrath]

65. if I had a set of those, I`d never leave the house

:wow:

[ulysses]

66. that would do it, yes

:drool:

[LincolnMcGrath]

56. My Lord.. It`s you

[SmileyBoy]

63. Was it good for you??.....

OHHHHHHHHH Yeahhhhhhhhhh.........