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First thing Jesus would do if he returned...

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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 11:29 AM
Original message
Poll question: First thing Jesus would do if he returned...
Edited on Tue Jun-06-06 11:29 AM by Taverner
well...
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. Leave.
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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. Ask where the men's room is ...
it's a long trip from Heaven.
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Brigid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:12 PM
Response to Original message
3. I voted for a Cubbies World Series win.
I couldn't resist. :P

I think, really, he'd do all of these things.
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Monkey see Monkey Do Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. Stamp out the vampire menace


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311361/
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kay1864 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Woo-hoo! Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter!
Plot Outline:
Kung-Fu Action / Comedy / Horror / Musical about the second coming.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Better get Mary Magnum on the horn.
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NewWaveChick1981 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:24 PM
Response to Original message
5. Bench-press Pat Robertson's idiot ass
right off the planet! :P
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noonwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. No, no, he'll make Pat gay!
"In case you were wondering, Pat, I made gays in my image, too".
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
7. Forgive everyone and drive the greedy out of his temple.
Make peace, teach love and forgiveness.
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giant_robot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. One word: merchandising!


Those damn fundie asshats have been cashing in on the Jesus name for far too long, dammit!
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riona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:39 PM
Response to Original message
9. Check out the Birkenstocks
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 03:14 PM
Response to Reply #9
19. LOL!
And probably say, "Damn, these are comfortable!" :rofl:
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
12. Ask for a meeting with President Gore.
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ComerPerro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
13. go to a coffe shop, get a latte, and browse the web on his laptop
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Brigid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 01:17 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. And the first site he would visit would be DU.
Edited on Tue Jun-06-06 01:17 PM by Brigid
He would love it here -- much to the dismay of the freepers and fundies, who thought for so long that he was their own personal property.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 01:27 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. Even though I detest Macs - he'd be using a PowerBook
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darkism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. He'd be a pretentious hipster in a coffee shop...
...of COURSE he'd be on a Mac.
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LostInAnomie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
15. Cause to price of bread, fish, and wine to plummet...
Edited on Tue Jun-06-06 01:28 PM by LostInAnomie
... by flooding the market.

By the way, his name is spelled Jeebus.
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djeseru Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 02:24 PM
Response to Original message
18. Throw up.
The things being done in his name are just sickening. :(
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leftofthedial Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
20. throw the repukes out of the temple
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
21. Ask what happened to all the women priests and church leaders.
Hey, I can dream, can't I? :)
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LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
22. he would read matcom news
:D
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NNadir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
23. Where's Lenny Bruce when you need him?
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jun-06-06 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
24. Whatever it was
he'd either be thrown into jail, Gitmo or a psychiatric institution...
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