Women - do you enjoy being called "sweetheart" by strangers?

[skygazer]

I've had this happen twice this week. They were both complete strangers and weren't making a pass or anything. It was used like someone would use "miss" or "ma'am". And they weren't southern and this is not the south.

So I started wondering - why do so many men do this? Do they think women enjoy it? Are there women who do enjoy it? I know there are women who put up with it, or laugh it off but are there any who actually consider it a compliment of sorts?

What say you?

[idgiehkt]

1. hmmm

if he's cute....


I bet that's the wrong answer, isn't it?

[youthere]

2. I detest it ...

along with "sugar" and "honey". I never say anything though, because for the most part people are just trying to be nice, and I understand that.

[ComerPerro]

5. calm down, sweetheart

:hi:

[youthere]

16. oooooohhh...

:spank: :spank: :spank: :spank:

:rofl:

[GCP]

3. It's never bothered me

Really - why get one's knickers in a twist over something so unimportant?

[skygazer]

4. Well, I don't wear knickers

But if I did, they wouldn't be in a twist. I'm just musing about it - it occurred to me to wonder just why people do address perfect strangers in such a way. So I wondered if there were people out there who actually liked being addressed like that.

It really doesn't so much bother me as puzzle me. No, I don't particularly like it and no, I don't jump all over the person doing it. As another poster pointed out, they're usually trying to be nice. But I wonder why they think that's nice. Why would it be considered nice to call someone who is not your wife or girlfriend "sweetheart?"

Idle curiosity.

edited to add - Do you like it, though? You say it doesn't bother you which is fine but what I'm really wondering is if there are people who really like it.

[GCP]

8. Well, I guess I like it

I was brought up in a family where everybody was called "love" - so I've been called stuff like that all my life.
It gives me a warm cozy feeling.

[OhioBlue]

44. It doesn't really bother me

in fact I do things like that a lot - but usually to children, not adults. I have almost an automatic response when a child asks me a question... "what sweetheart, or what sweetie, or babe or hon or cutie" or something like that..

I LOVE my parents - but I didn't exactly grow up in an atmosphere that encouraged self-confidence.... so maybe that is why I do it so much..

But, anyway - it is all about context... If an older person came up to me and said "Sweetheart, your slip is showing".. I wouldn't mind it at all. If a guy about my age came up and said "You have a nice rack sweetheart" or a girl came up and said "Sweetheart, you are wearing way too much blush" - then yeah... I'd probably be a bit offended....

[Midlodemocrat]

38. Doesn't bother me, either. Anymore than someone calling me

darlin' does. I don't consider it condescending. I think the guy is just being nice.

I'm okay with any name calling except fuckhead. I HATE that.

:hi:

[Shine]

6. It doesn't bother me, frankly.

I call people "sweetheart", "darlin" and "buddy" all the time. Complete strangers, even. It's just my friendly nature, what can I say? :D

:hi:

[skygazer]

7. Ah, but again, the point is missed

Do you LIKE it? Do you find it complimentary? Or do you just not mind it?

Of course, you ARE a sweetheart so it makes sense to call you that. :pals:

[idgiehkt]

15. okay

sometimes it gets on my fucking nerves. If they are saying it in a way that means 'there, there dear'. I have a man I work with once in a while (Mr. Creepy) that does that kind of thing, along with just being to familiar in general. And some women can say it in a really hateful, bitchy way. Your point is well taken.

[LostinVA]

9. I don't like it, and will only tolerate it from men over a certain age

ie VERY OLD.

[skygazer]

13. I'm the same way

I find it demeaning, especially when I'm addressed that way at work. It seems disrespectful to me and I just don't like it.

One of the guys who did it was a vendor who comes in our store regularly so he's not a complete stranger but I don't really know him - I don't even know his name or the company he works for. He's just a guy I say "hi" to.

And I know he wasn't trying to be at all offensive - he offered to help me lift a pallet and said, "Can I help you with that, Sweetheart?" So I thanked him and told him I had it under control and as I lifted it, he said, "Oh, be careful, Sweetheart!" So at that point, I said (politely), "Please don't call me Sweetheart" and HE got offended! :eyes: I even told him later that I hoped he didn't think I was snapping at him but he was somewhat huffy so I just shrugged it all off.

I'm only one person's sweetheart.

[KayLaw]

10. I guess it's okay

I guess.

[reyd reid reed]

11. Depends

But most of the time it drives me batshit. If it's someone I know and really, really like -- or a friend (I tend to use 'sweetie' a lot) -- then it's okay. I might even like it. But a stranger?

Uh uh.

It's condescending and patronizing and presumptive and I'm likely to give 'em the Look.

And the Look is scary.

[Broken_Hero]

26. but ...but...

can I call you darlin then? :P


:rofl:



I suffer from calling women I don't know well, darlin...its from being around my much older friends...they always use Darlin...am I bad?...

[reyd reid reed]

29. Nah...darlin' isn't sweetheart so that's okay. Plus, I've been known

to use 'darlin' every once in a while, myself.

And I like you.

[Broken_Hero]

33. Yay...:P

thanks, my bud tom from Houston got me saying it a lot...I notice myself saying a lot of things the "local" way here in sw missouri, and every time I say..."holler" I slap myself...there are a few more catch phrases I catch my self saying...like "reckon so"...but I think I get that from my eastwood movies...

[reyd reid reed]

40. Heh...my throwback phrase

from when I lived in Alabama is, "Bless your heart" and variations thereof. And get me mad? It's like I never left.

[LaraMN]

12. Depends on who's addressing me.

If it's an elderly person, I don't mind, as long as it's not expressed in a patronizing manner.

[skygazer]

14. I will give an older person more of a pass

As long as they don't try to pinch my ass. :grr:

[Kat45]

17. I know a lot of women who do it too.

They call everyone sweetie or honey. I figure it's just their way. :shrug:

[BarenakedLady]

18. Not particularly

No.

[deadparrot]

19. It depends.

Usually, no, because I feel like I'm being talked down to. But there are a few people whose use of it doesn't bother me.

[miss_american_pie]

20. Context is everything

Most of the time I don't care.

[Ariana Celeste]

22. Agreed...

I can tell whether it's friendly, or not... I really don't care as long as I know it's not in a condescending manner...

[skygazer]

24. I guess I don't understand what's "friendly" about it

How is it friendly to call a total stranger by a very familiar endearment? I just don't understand why anyone would do so in the first place - why would they think it's a positive thing?

I realize most people who do it ARE trying to be friendly but I can't for the life of me figure out how they make that connection. I wouldn't dream of calling a perfect stranger by any sort of endearment, particularly in a professional setting. It just seems wierd and patronizing and out of place to me.

Maybe it's just me... ~sigh~

[Ariana Celeste]

25. I grew up with it...

I find myself calling people "Honey"... My Gramma was born & raised in Alabama, maybe that's got something to do with it. :)

[skygazer]

28. Yeah, I realize it's different in the south

I lived in Alabama for a while and really loved it there. The people were great. And there's a very relaxed and easygoing familiarity that I recognize as a cultural thing.

But around here it strikes me differently. Not that I mean people aren't trying to be nice - I think they are. But it's not that simple throwaway "Hon" as in the "Here's your grits, Hon" the waitress says when she sets your plate down. It's the type of thing that there seems to be no equivalent for with men - I can't picture any of these people referring to a man with any kind of familiarity like that whereas in the south it seems more universal. It's an equal opportunity familiarity.

Does that make any sense?

[Ariana Celeste]

39. I hear ya

I understand why some aren't comfortable with it... especially in certain areas... I grew up in Western WA and it's not really normal there either. :)

[femmocrat]

21. I can't say that ever happened, but...

I was going into work a few weeks ago, and one of the construction guys called me "Doll." I just laughed! It still makes me laugh!

[calico1]

23. It all depends....

on the tone, the context, etc. I usually get it from older people. I am a boomer so it would be from people older than that. It doesn't offend me unless I can detect sarcasm in it. Usually it is meant with sweetness. Lord knows we have enough nastiness in the world. If someone wants to call me honey or sweetie because they are being nice then I am not going to make a stink abou it.

[City Lights]

27. Nope.

I'm not fond of "honey" or "hon" either. :argh:

[Guava Jelly]

30. Now sweetheart you know you love being called that right Princess

:hide: don't kill me

[skygazer]

32. You are a brat

Luckily for you, I like you so you just get a spank - I know you like those. :spank:

[Guava Jelly]

36. Only from you Sweet hear______ouch ouch ouch!

:7

[GoddessOfGuinness]

35. Princess...

At my dad's memorial service, we offered a period of time for people to contribute their thoughts and feelings about him.
A young woman from his office spoke about how he was always calling her "Princess". But she said it never bothered her because, coming from him, it always made her feel like a princess... :)

[SeattleGirl]

31. Depends on who's saying it, and the situation.

For the most part, it doesn't bother me at all. However, when it's said in a way to "put me in my place", I hate it. An example: I had a client a few years ago who was pissed off about something regarding his worker's comp claim. I was trying to explain to him what was going on, and he said, with an arrogant sneer, "Now, listen, sweetheart." OH MAN, DO NOT GO THERE! I got right in his face and said, "Do NOT ever call me that again." He apologized immediately, AND he never did it again.

[WannaBeGrumpy]

34. Not if its a creepy pedophile type guy!!!

but otherwise I don't mind! :shrug:

[ganeshji]

37. I don't mind it as long as

it's not followed by "You're not from round these parts is ya?"

[mark414]

41. i have to admit i do this occasionally

i am a young buck though, 21, and sometimes it just comes out of me without me ever thinking twice about it. i never mean to talk down or be condescending or anything like that it's just something that i say. i grew up in a small, close knit town where everyone's friendly and calls each other all types of names (both men and women). i've noticeably offended people and noticeably flattered people, though it's not something i say that often.

am i a bad man?

[pitohui]

42. if it's another woman i don't give a damn one way or another

if it's a man, which it usually isn't, it's creepy

[Haole Girl]

43. I love it...but I like all terms of endearment.

Exception: when people say it, or any term of endearment, with a sleazy tone to their voice...that's just creepy. Oh, other exception: When they say it with a condescending tone...
OK...it depends on the tone of their voice. ;)

[sakabatou]

45. Only in certain situations

[DawgHouse]

46. It doesn't bother me too much

but I do feel weird when a young person calls me "honey" or "sweetheart". It feels patronizing, like they see me as a little old lady, and I'm not!

[LadyoftheRabbits]

47. Well, I used to live in the south...

And visit it often, so I'm pretty used to "ma'am." Up here, I worked at a place in the country and everyone seemed to call us women "sweetheart." Didn't bother me. :shrug: