Tips on How Not to Sell Your Home

[bleedingheart]

1. Don't clean it, the buyer would want to see the "lived in look"

2. If you cats, let them piss all over the carpets and don't clean up. That pungent aroma makes buyers want to come back for more or check their armpits to see if they forgot their deoderant

3. If you have a dog, let it shit all over your basement making a fun obstacle course for would-be buyers. It is an added plus if you have the same obtacle course in the back yard too!

4. Fill every room with furniture and clutter so that no one really knows how big the rooms are.

5. Leave holes in walls and don't paint fix anything.

[hedgehog]

1. How about following the Realtor and prospective buyers around

as they tour the house to ensure that the buyers are free to ask questions?

[bleedingheart]

2. that's a great one....

but it can't beat the couple who wants to buy the house so bad that they sit through the entire open house on the couch to scare away other prospective buyers...

[hedgehog]

3. Also , be sure to have your dog take an interst in the affair.

Nothing helps a house tour like having the resident canine standing guard in every room after greeting the prospective buyers by leaping happliy against the car windows.

[bleedingheart]

4. even better if you let your exotics out to roam the house

that python will give the place an added quality lacking in most homes.

[Blue Diadem]

5. I've had two realtors ask me to be there

Two different homes, two different cities/states. It ticked me off because they didn't bother to learn about our house and wanted me to answer all questions from the potential buyers. I began to wonder why we were paying them commission. I felt awkward and tried to stay in the living area but both times, the realtors kept nudging me to go tell them about our house.

The first time ended in a sale, but the 2nd house was sold to someone who went through with only the realtor.

[bleedingheart]

6. gotta love the lazy realtor