what's the weirdest thing that ever happened to you in a public restroom?

[datasuspect]

i once found a big ole hunk of white powdery substance in clumpy form.

another time, an old man came up next to me and started singing, "there once was a gay caballero . . ."

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

1. A drag queen offered me a bump of heroin.

I thanked her, but declined.

[datasuspect]

2. line or injection?

that would be scary if someone was walking around offering to fix people . . .

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. Line. I would have been really freaked out if it was injection.

I can deal with strangers offering stuff intranasally.

[datasuspect]

4. had a cab driver do that once

(offer nasal powder stuff) when i took a cab from cicero into chicago.

ended up staying at a bar in cicero.

[MrCoffee]

5. a squirrel was standing on the toilet paper holder

freaked me the hell out.

[barb162]

9. Sorry but that is hilarious

LOL!

[MrCoffee]

11. sure, NOW it's funny...

at the time, it damn near scared the reason i was there in the first place right out of me. the little guy went berserk when i screamed...i thought i was gonna give him a heart attack right there in the crapper.

[barb162]

15. now it's even funnier.

Sorry! But I am laughing.

Once I saw something move out of the corner of my eye in my dark garage. A large opposum was walking on the shelf about a foot away from me.

[Wcross]

40. Girl I knew had a corn snake join her in the bathroom.

It was at a state park and the thing just slithered in and made itself at home behind the toilet!

[MrCoffee]

51. Gah! That's so much worse than a squirrel.

[Wcross]

55. Maybe-maybe not. The squirrel could have been rabid!

A corn snake won't hurt you unless you are a small rodent. I have heard that squirrel's are very fond of nuts so dropping drawers might cause a serious injury with a squirrel about.

[seemunkee]

6. Got into a long discussion on race relations.

With an expat jazz musician in Paris. My brother and I ended up talking with the guy for ~1/2 hour.

[LaraMN]

7. A guy followed me into the (women's) bathroom, w/a video camera.

He wouldn't quit taping me, or leave me alone. I went in the bathroom in the first place, because I thought it would get him away from me. No dice.

[datasuspect]

8. ewwww

THAT is fucking creepy.

yuck.

did you smash the guy in the face?

[LaraMN]

13. Some other girl chased him off, for me.

:thumbsup:

[idgiehkt]

18. I have to say

I cannot imagine what high school is like with cell phone cameras and those tiny camcorders now. I mean, Christ, it was traumatic enough when I was in it, but with all that technology now...good lord. What a nightmare.

[barb162]

10. Did you call management?

Was there management around to call. That would be scary as hell!

[LaraMN]

14. This was in my High School.

:scared:

[Mutley]

12. People asking me questions about merchandise

in the public bathroom at work...

While I'm in the stall.

:grr:

[amitten]

16. Gross. n/t

[tk2kewl]

17. I once entered a restroom for one in a restaraunt...

It had an odd victorian style door know I which I could not locate the lock (I later realized it was small pin in the corner of a very ornate rectangular plate).

I figured, door closed, someone would knock first, or at least would not enter once they realized the room was occupied, so I began to urinate.

Right after I had begun my business, the door flew open and an obese Italian of the Long Island NY variety bounded in. He opened his pants, and before I could even get out the words "are you fucking kidding me," he was pissing in the only toilet in the room right along side of me.

I was sickened.

[datasuspect]

20. at least you weren't sitting down

how uncouth of that person.

[tk2kewl]

21. i am guessing he had some sort of bladder issue...

but he was uncouth none the less

[LynneSin]

19. If I told you, this thread would be locked

[schmuls]

22. I stopped in the restroom at a gas station, and while I was on the

pot, I noticed a movement in the wall. Some asshole had drilled a hole in the wall and was watching women! I went out to the car and told my boyfriend about it. Wish I could say he went in and made him piss his pants, but we just drove away!

[datasuspect]

25. i woulda lit that motherfucker up.

shit like that is pretty sick. what if it had been a child.

[Patiod]

23. My drunken friend loudly asking, "Pattie, are you on the Pill?

because your boobs have DEFINITELY gotten bigger"

She was in the only stall, and I was in line with about 8 other sorority girls, who all knew me and were DELIGHTED to get some good dirt. We had just gotten back to college for the start of the new school year.

What made it so embarrassing was that I HAD gone on the Pill that summer, and was noticably less flat-chested then I was when I left school for the summer.

[bleedingheart]

24. Oh I have a list...

1. While working at Pitt, I would find this one asian student sleeping on the floor of the bathroom...(absolutely disgusting thought). Called campus police...she had a home...but liked to take small naps where not a lot of people would be.. Yeah right...she was just wacko.

2. In Washington DC, I walked in on a prostitute servicing a customer in a woman's bathroom.

3. For those people from Pittsburgh...once while in the Hyatt's bathroom the famed "Sparrow" walked in and started babbling to me about the end of the world...and was blocking the door...my friend and I had to push past her.

[MrScorpio]

26. I had to pay to use it

It's SOP in Holland

[mark414]

28. more and more of those are popping up in the states too...

[ceile]

27. Not me but my sis.

She was in her stall when she heard a little old lady in the next stall ask: "Corn?! When did I eat corn?"
I tell everyone that story-always cracks me up!!

[Wcross]

42. Oh gross! (corn does tend to stay intact though). n/t

[taterguy]

29. Running into Al Gore

I was slightly tempted to break the guy code of not looking at another man's private parts

[catmandu57]

30. I got ht on by a old guy

at a reststop when I was 16, I ran as fast as I could to the car.

[datasuspect]

31. i seem to find "cruisy" restrooms

without even looking for them.

not that that is a bad thing.

[raccoon]

89. Was it Foley? nt

[CabalPowered]

32. I was groped in a porta potty by a drunk girl once

Does that count?

[datasuspect]

33. was it a complete stranger?

that would be cool.

[CabalPowered]

34. Unfortunately no.

But she revealed she had a longtime crush on me. Which I worked to my advantage. :evilgrin:

[AllegroRondo]

35. A guy asked me if I had ever seen a Prince Albert

I told him I had not, nor did I ever wish to.

[bif]

36. "Man, is it ever hard to pee when you have a boner."

Said a guy at the next urinal. He was joking. Funny line, I thought.

[NewWaveChick1981]

37. Two women were going at it in the stall next to me.

:P Nothing wrong going at it, but I can think of no grosser place than a public restroom (especially that one...:puke:).

[datasuspect]

38. sometimes passion isn't very sanitary

i speak from experience.

[NewWaveChick1981]

46. LOL...

:rofl: Glad to know that. I guess when the urge strikes, you do what you gotta do... :P :evilgrin:

[NMMNG]

77. I've had that happen

:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

80. Dude, you were in the stall...

:rofl:

[NMMNG]

82. You should know

You were there too. :P

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

83. Well then...

Heidi said I needed to pass a kiss onto 5 DUers, so you might as well be one of them.

:*

[NMMNG]

84. Right back at ya

:*

[Wcross]

39. Two VERY disturbing things.....

1) Once outside of Williamsport, Pennsylvania I had to pee and there was a rest area. It was around 8 or 9pm and dark out. I approached the restroom and there were no lights on inside but being young and stupid, I entered because I could see the urinals enough to use them. I unzipped and then I noticed people hanging around in there! I have a good idea what was going on now but I was kind of shocked and worried at the time.

2) In eastern Kentucky I stopped to take a leak at the highway rest area. There was a cleaning guy in there but he was cleaning a urinal at the end of the row. By the time I was halfway done he was cleaning around the one I was using!!!!! WTF? I was at a loss for words, he couldn't wait 10 seconds until I was finished?

[datasuspect]

41. what is really weird

is when it is the cleaning lady who does this.

[bif]

43. Deleted

My mistake

[tk2kewl]

44. I asked a guy to hold my beer and all hell broke loose!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2238584233684613218&q=beer&hl=en
:rofl:

[pdx_prog]

45. I peed in a urinal next to Joe Perry one night....

I didn't say anything because, well....we were in the fucking bathroom. Besides, what do you say to a guy standing next to him at a urinal...."hey man, you are awesome", or "Man, I am a really big fan"....lol Just didn't seem right.

My girlfriend and one of her girlfriend's she had been seeing at the time went into a strip club one night. All of these guys were gawking at us so we all started kissing each other, her and me, her and her, then me and the other her. These guys were watching us more than the dancers. I went into the bathrooom and the attendant in there got on his knees and bowed to me, telling me I was a God....rofl. After he smiled I thought that he probably thought any one with more than 3 teeth were gods....lol

[anarch]

47. some guy basically knocked the door to the stall off it's hinges

while I was still in the stall. It was in a museum, and perhaps the fellow didn't speak English and so didn't understand what I was yelling at him (it was "Just a minute!"), and also did not understand the concept of a locked bathroom stall, or what I don't know. But as soon as he managed to batter the door open, he got all apologetic..."Oh, sorry, excuse me..." and went to the next, unoccupied stall. :shrug:

[greatauntoftriplets]

48. This happened to a friend, but since we were there together, it counts.

We were eating in this bar/restaurant on Chicago's North Side. Governor Jim Thompson was also in there with his wife and early teenage daughter...this was a while back when he was still in office and liked to mingle with the common folk now and then. Anyway, the place has great burgers... But I digress.

My friend went in to use the facilities, which had a hook-and-eye lock. Samantha and Jayne Thompson also went into the bathroom. In there, Samantha grabbed the door of the stall my friend was in without looking for feet, pulling with such force that the lock came undone and there was my friend with the governor's wife and daughter seeing her on the toilet.

As an aside, Thompson was a notoriously shitty tipper. Now his bodyguards, who always sat at another table, were a lot more generous than that skinflint Thompson.

[achtung_circus]

49. 1975, fall, and the "Modern Times" tour

for Al Stewart. Convocation Hall at the University of Toronto.



We went to the men's to smoke some dope and the only other people in their were the band, having a pre-concert whizz. So we all got high.

1971, spring and I was on a school jaunt to the Medditerranean on a P & O ship SS Uganda. The kids were from all over the world and we were housed like steerage.



The only privacy offered to a young English or German or IIRC Danish girl was the washroom.

Travel is broadening.

[crim son]

50. I mistakenly interrupted two women intimately engaged

in an unlocked stall. I was invited to join them but declined. When I turned around another woman grabbed and kissed me. Note: this was a gay bar but I went there all the time and never before had anything unusual happened in the ladies' room.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

57. ...

:rofl:

[crim son]

59. Laugh all you want, Haruka!

But remember this... I am irrestable! B-)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

60. Irresistable too, I'm sure!

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[crim son]

61. Yeah! That too! I am!

:blush:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

62. I couldn't help it. I'm a total jackass sometimes.

It's one of my charms.

:rofl:

[crim son]

63. Really? I hadn't noticed!

:evilgrin:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

65. Yup, it's true.

:rofl:

[crim son]

66. In my past life I had a job revising and editing

college papers. It appears that I'm now in need of a personal editor myself. Terrorize me... I don't care. It's karma!

[dolo amber]

52. I caught the "4th Beastie Boy" Ricky Powell

with a video camera, filming over the tops of the stalls.

[mainegreen]

54. Oh really?

Interesting.

[Shine]

53. This is a good one:

one time I was taking a pee in a stall and as I was pulling out the little squares of toilet paper to wipe with, out came a folded up DOLLAR BILL!! I looked carefully at it and somebody had penned a little smile over the mouth of George Washington and also a cartoon bubble coming out of his mouth that had the word: "Shhhhh....."

Isn't that weird?! Needlesstosay, I was pretty surprised. I shoulda kept it, but that was back in my student days and I was thrilled to have an extra buck. :D

a Random Act of Kindness...albeit a bit strange.....

[I Have A Dream]

67. Ooooo, I like THAT one! n/t

[Writer]

56. This is Mr. Writer's experience...

He was in a bathroom at the Student Union building at The University of Texas. He entered one of the stalls and sat. He heard his "neighbor" making some noise in the stall next to his. Listening closely, it became quite clear that the guy was masturbating. Mr. Writer then looks down and notices a hand reaching out to him from beneath the stall wall separating them. Assumably his neighbor wanted Mr. Writer to grab it - I suppose for some type of added erotic effect. Let's just say he got out of there as fast as his body would let him. F'ing creepy!

[GOPisEvil]

68. When I was a student @ A&M, one particular mensroom was a popular spot for

anonymous gay sex. It was on the top 10 list of some magazine. Needless to say, that article caused quite a stir...

[tk2kewl]

90. Gays in Texas!? I don't believe it!

:wow:

[KatyaR]

58. I was having a coughing fit while attending a matinee performance

at the Metropolitan Opera in NYC (I was in undergraduate school at the time, 1977). Obviously I stepped out to go to the bathroom (because I was gonna get thrown out otherwise), and I was standing at a sink, just hacking away. Think of a barking seal--that was me. An employee, a ladies room attendant, probably, came in while I was coughing and starting screaming hysterically at me that "my neighbor had that exact same thing, and she DIED!" She then ran out of the room and never came back.

I couldn't decide whether to die of embarassment or fall down laughing. Thank god no one else was in the bathroom at the time.

We were in NYC for a week, and every time I walked into a theatre, I had a coughing spell. Twenty-five years later I found out that I have asthma, the type where you cough instead of wheeze. So I was having asthma attacks for years.

That was also the trip where a friend of mine almost got us arrested in Times Square on New Year's Eve, but that's another story. (We walked after giving the cops a kiss--we were a little drunk).

Good times . . . .

[GoddessOfGuinness]

64. A homeless woman asked if I was from a good Catholic family

I asked her if I could help her in some way. She told me she needed to find a good Catholic family before midnight, because "The Beast is coming in here".

[Generic Brad]

69. I got spooked by a one way mirror

The window was a mirror on the bar side, but a window the rest room. And although I really, really had to go I couldn't do it because there were a line of women looking into the mirror pointing and pretending they could see in. I knew they couldn't see me, but my body reacted as if they could. I just could not go, try as I might.

I must be shy. :blush:

[SoyCat]

70. My husband was in a restroom in a beach park and --

there were tree frogs everywhere. One decided to use his *ahem* as a springboard as it jumped from one place to another. Freaked the heck out of him but it was funny nonetheless.

[idgiehkt]

74. ding ding ding

WINNER!!

[In_The_Wind]

71. I ran into my former shrink while she was saying "I Love You".

Yep! She was looking in the mirror saying "I love you". :silly:

[Kat45]

72. My boyfriend (at the time) and I went to a motorcycle rodeo, and

he went into the men's room at the park where the event was held. It was one of those public bathrooms that was in its own building, a big room with lots of urinals/stalls. When he walked in, what did he see but a pile of excrement that some guy had deposited right on the floor, not anywhere near a stall. Can you say "eeeeeeeeuww!"? :puke:

[njdemocrat106]

73. This isn't as weird as some of other stories in this thread, but...

Back in (I think) 4th grade, I went to use a stall in the boy's room. I locked the stall, and after I finished my business, I found that I couldn't unlock the stall; the lock was firmly stuck. I had to crawl out under the stall door. The next day, I remember the stall door being open, so I guess the custodians did their job that afternoon.

This isn't terribly weird, either, but a few years ago I went to the bathroom at a park near me. After doing my business, I walked outside and what do I see but this little red fox staring at me (in daylight, mind you). The entrance to the park has signs saying "don't feed the foxes", but I had never seen one there until after that trip to the bathroom there.

[Omphaloskepsis]

75. I was at a bar..

Max's -- 13th Street -- Eugene Oregon

I was pissing in the urinal. I heard a can of beer open while I was pissing. Next thing I knew this huge guy wrapped his arm around my neck (while I was urinating) and told me, "If you tell, I will kill you." This freaked me out a little bit (understatement of the year). He pressed me against the wall and urinal while he finished his beer. He left, I pulled up my pants and told my friends about it..

Now I use the stall..

[Fleshdancer]

76. an elderly Japanese woman grabbed my breast and....

shoved my nipple inside my baby's mouth. What do I win for strangest answer? :D

My daughter was having a hard time latching on when under the nursing blanket inside the restaurant so I decided to quickly go into the restroom to get her to latch and then come out. While standing next to the sink a strange elderly woman came up from behind me, didn't say anything, but grabbed me and shoved it in Abby's mouth. She then smiled at me, nodded her head and left the restroom. I had no idea how to respond.

[alittlelark]

78. At a restaurant in Palo Alto. The door lock broke off in my hand.

I pulled a swiss army knife out of my purse and attempted to disengage the lock... 5 minutes later I asked for help from others in the room. After much discussion and a head under the door to assure that I was not 'just freaking out', someone brought a member of management.........................................................


Bottom line, I had to crawl out of a 10 or so inch space under the stall (Stylish mostly closed stall doors). Did I mention I was in a cocktail dress?

Hubby laughed for a few moments then got another drink.

I will NEVER lock one of those doors again.

[Skittles]

79. I helped clean up a very sick (from booze) young teenage gal

her worried boyfriend had asked me to check on her :o

[last_texas_dem]

81. When I worked as a janitor at a movie theater

in college, I had to plunge a toilet that someone had managed to clog based on the sheer, um, amount of... stuff. Well, I slipped a little while plunging and ended up getting someone else's crap all over the front of my shirt. Luckily, it didn't fly up high enough to hit me in the face but it came close.

OK, so that isn't that weird so much as just disgusting. A slightly weird story: the other day at work I had to go to the bathroom and was in there for a while. I'd been sitting there about two minutes when I realized (due to being able to see their leg and foot under the sides of the stall wall) that there was a guy sitting next to me. I was there for over five minutes and this person made absolutely no sound and didn't move or shift their position once. I decided he was either asleep or dead, and seriously wondering if it was the latter because I never saw/heard any sign that he was breathing. I was very tempted to touch the guy's leg or "accidentally" run into the stall wall or something just to see if he'd move but decided it wasn't my business. If it was a corpse I guess they took care of it, 'cause it was gone the next day.

[Skittles]

85. what is it about movie theater bathrooms?

I don't tend to see raucous drunks at the movies and yet the bathrooms there are left in worse shape than the bathrooms in bars....I feel sorry for anyone who has to clean them up.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

87. I worked at a movie theatre for the summer after HS.

Trust me, it's the whole movie theatre in general that gets fucked up by idiots. It's really beyond belief. And this was a movie theatre in a nice upper-middle class town.

One of the worst (albeit funniest) things ever left behind was a used condom. One of the ushers came out of the theatre and said, "I need a mop, somebody got fast & furious in 'Fast & the Furious.'" Yup, somebody left a used condom on the floor and didn't even tie it off.

The whole place was truly insane and filthy, but it was oddly fun working there. We made whoever was the youngest male do the nasty cleanups.

[wickerwoman]

86. Woman in next stall having diarrhea while talking on her cellphone.

I felt so bad for the person on the other end. Unless it was her doctor (which it didn't sound like) I can't imagine why you wouldn't hang-up, do your business, and then call them back. And it was *loud* too. Just covering the receiver wouldn't have done any good...

[schmuls]

88. Someone in a port-a-potty forced me to smoke a joint and get

high. he he he

[youthere]

91. I used to work at a fairly large company...

and while I was in the bathroom, in the stall next to me I could hear a "hummmmmmmmmmm". I figured it was just one of my coworkers using a breast pump (we had lot's of new mommies at the time) so I didn't think twice about it until I heard the lady start muttering "Oh Jesus! Oh Jesus!"
I washed my hands and left the bathroom, and about 3 minutes later my manager left the bathroom with her purse under her arm, looking only slightly disheveled and extremely calm.

[AllegroRondo]

92. that info came in handy when you asked for a raise, right?

[distantearlywarning]

93. This isn't so much weird, but really icky

When I was 11 years old, I went away to Girl Scout camp. One night I had to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It was a pretty primitive site, out in the wilds, and there was no electricity in the bath house (although there were flush toilets), so it was quite dark in there.

I went in the stall, did my business, and went to pull up my pants. I had a flashlight with me, and when I moved my foot to stand up, the light just happened to hit the floor right where my foot had been. Sitting there, as calm as could be, was a gigantic hairy ugly wolf spider! This sucker was probably as big around as my palm. And I was wearing flip-flops. :scared:

Did I mention that I am a huge arachnophobe?

I screamed so loud that I woke my camp counselor up and she came running to find out what was wrong with me.

It was pretty traumatic.

[fudge stripe cookays]

94. I became a heroine to hundreds of bursting women!

At Fry Street Fair in 1998, an annual Denton Street Fair, I bopped into Riprock's to visit my friends working behind the bar.

I couldn't miss the HUGE long line of girls lined up to use one of the 2 ladies restroom stalls. Eventually I had to go too, after enough beers. I couldn't figure out what the holdup was until one of the girls told me one of the stalls was backed up.

The employees were SWAMPED. There was no way anyone could spare time for such a cruddy chore. I ran up to the bar, had one of them find me a plunger, and dashed back.

My first job was in high school helping my mom around a plumber's office, so I learned a few things. Between ridding the bowl of its initial nastiness, going at it with the plunger, and turning off the water at the wall then repetitive flushing, I managed to rid the potty of its foul burden (no tampons ladies, please!).

The girls heard successful flushing, and when I emerged from the stall, holding the plunger, I got a standing ovation, and one of the girls yelled "She's the Heroine of Fry Street Fair!"

I sounds like bullshit, but I swear it really happened. I laughed my ass off.

[RiffRandell]

97. That's great!

But are you sure they weren't jealous? ;-)

[fudge stripe cookays]

98. Only the ones with big hooters.

But you haven't lived until you've cleaned out a bar toilet.

;-)

[av8rdave]

95. Was in a restroom in Brussels once....

I'm standing at the urinal, doing what you do at a urinal, when I feel someone bump against on their way to the stalls...and I hear "oh..excuse me," in a very nice, very female british voice. I about panicked, thinking I had walked into the wrong restroom, until I realized there were in fact urinals in there.

Turns out it was a "coed" restroom. I was fine once it sunk in.

[RoyGBiv]

96. Stoned Cops ...

Saw the two detectives who were in charge of drug enforcement in my smallish home town in a restroom in OKC at a ZZ Top concert, stoned off their asses.

They saw me and my friends, whom they knew and had tried to harass on several occasions, and *RAN*.

[jrandom421]

99. True Story

Stabilizing the neck of some kid who fell off his rollerblades and hit his head, until the paramedics arrived.

[eppur_se_muova]

100. Well, a stranger once offered me a fresh, home-grown carrot.

But this was in Seattle, maybe that's normal there.

[Blue Diadem]

101. Didn't happen to me but where I worked..the stall door fell off and hurt

a guy. He walked out of the restroom with blood dripping from his forehead angrier than you can imagine. I still wonder if the company was ever sued over that.

[LiberalHeart]

102. I can't tell you, but National Enquirer might buy the story.

[jmowreader]

103. This was in Korea...

The 209th MI Company in Seoul had two "agent hooches" over in the officers' quarters area that our counterintelligence agents lived in. One of them was up this little hill. It was there that the company held a fairly good-size drinking party.

About 11 that night, the signal security platoon (which I was in) decided to go to Itaewon to drink Soju and Oscar. (Oscar is this cheap champagne they make on Cheju-do. Soju I have no fucking idea what's in it, but it gets you fucked up quick and that's important because its flavor is not pleasant.) Some of the CI people decided to come with us.

This guy Possum I told you about earlier decided to wait outside because the CI people had the heat up all the way and he couldn't breathe. He's looking around and he sees the edge of a sandstone cliff out behind the building. Hmm...y'know, he could really use to take a piss right about now, so he staggered over to this tree, grabbed hold of it with his left hand, and used his other hand to pull his dick out and pee.

After he got done, he reached down with his left hand to put his dick away.

While he was falling down the 15-foot cliff, he realized why his left hand was on the tree in the first place.

So Possum's laying at the bottom of this cliff moaning in a puddle of pee with (as we learned later) seventy parallel cuts on his legs, forearms, torso and penis, Sergeant Defibaugh went over to the cliff.

"You okay down there?" <<moan>> "Okay, I'm gonna get another beer. You gonna be ready to go to the ville?"

Jene Hagler asked us where Possum was. No one knew except Defibaugh, who was drinking another beer. "Oh, he's at the bottom of the cliff out back, he's fine." So Jene went outside and looked over the side of the cliff.

She came back inside. "Does he usually lay at the bottom of fifteen-foot cliffs in puddles of pee, moaning in pain?" None of us thought so. "Then we should probably go out and get him."

We went out to get Possum but decided we should call for an ambulance because none of us could lift this guy. The possibility of spinal damage aside, this was a big guy and we weren't capable of picking him up. So we got the ambulance over there and they fished him out of the ravine. We followed to the hospital in the lieutenant's car.

They brought Possum into the emergency room and had a KATUSA (a Korean soldier assigned to a US unit) medic look at him. "I will clean out wound." The little fucker put about a quart of rubbing alcohol into a bowl and pulled out a scrub brush. We asked the medic if perhaps they might want to give him some morphine. The medic couldn't dispense any morphine and besides, "he's so drunk he won't feel a thing."

Let's see...there was me, Defibaugh, Jene, Little John, the lieutenant, about six American medics and a couple CI people whose names I don't recall attempting to hold Possum down so he didn't kill the KATUSA medic because he wasn't drunk enough to withstand that kind of abuse.

Three hours later we got Possum back to the barracks. We put him in bed and got him a chili dog from the 24-hour snack bar. Fifteen minutes later, the first sergeant of the unit that owned the barracks, two MPs and a drug dog burst through the door...at about four in the morning. That fucking dog saw Possum's chili dog...man, there could have been a gunny sack full of heroin sitting there and this mutt wouldn't have seen shit but that chili dog. I thought Possum was gonna kill that dog. I also thought our lieutenant was gonna kill that first sergeant.

[Bluestar]

104. In Egypt at the airport

Egyptian women have a "concession" of sorts where they take all the available toilet paper from the airport restroom stalls and stand in front of the stalls demanding money (only American dollars will do) from all the tourists for a small amount of toilet paper. They are very aggressive and formidable big women. I hadn't taken any travel toilet paper (learned my lesson) and had to pay them the first couple of times. After a 6 hour flight delay I was fed up with being ripped off. I offered one of them a quarter instead--her response? What's this? I said, An American quarter. She said, "Don't you have any dollars?" I said no more, not for you, grabbed the TP and walked past her.

There was also an Egyptian woman in that rest room who was washing vegetables for her husband's Ramaddan fast-break meal that evening (really disgusting). This was my first introduction to the proverty stricken Middle East.