Why Are There So Many Negative Attitudes Towards Breastfeeding?

[AutumnMist]

This isn't flamebait...truly. I have read some comments tonight that left me shaking my head in frustration. I breastfed my daughter and I wasn't uneducated, a conservative, or abused by any man that wanted to keep me at home and not have a career. Where do these opinions come from and why? I am asking honestly so please don't be trite or hateful about it. PLEASE! I do not want to get into a personal attack with anyone. I just honestly don't understand why anyone would attack another persons choice so spitefully and then turn around and claim to be open minded. Can anyone explain this?

[LeftyMom]

1. I've only seen one outright anti-breastfeeding post on DU

and that person simply isn't sane. Some people have issues with breastfeeding in public because they somehow got it in thier minds that breasts=sex and haven't adjusted to the reality that breasts=lunch and the sex thing is at best a nifty bonus.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. Not only did you breastfeed your kid but you gave him an eating disorder.

So what do you know?

[AutumnMist]

5. Pardon Me?

Can you explain that? Or is that written with sarcasm?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

8. Total sarcasm.

LeftyMom knows what I meant. Trust me, she doesn't need the :sarcasm: for that.

[AutumnMist]

9. Im Sorry

I hope you accept the apology? Wasnt trying to be hateful. Just curious. LOL

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

11. Don't worry about it.

[LeftyMom]

12. Oh it's a joke

I'm vegan and in an argument here somebody once swore on a stack of bibles that advocating a vegan diet would cause young women to die of eating disorders. It's kinda a running joke now.

[AutumnMist]

15. Sorry To Intrude On The Comment

I missed the running joke. On a stack of bibles? Seriously? Thats...interesting. Geesh what will people think of next?

[LostinVA]

26. You didn't know Vegan moms have soy milk?

It's a KNOWN FACT.

That's why her poor little child has an eating disorder.. *sob*

And she accuses ME of making Baby Jesus cry.

[LeftyMom]

35. Actually, it tasted more like almond milk.

:shrug:

[LostinVA]

36. Hmmm... now THAT'S weird

[LeftyMom]

37. It's very sweet and sticky.

:shrug:

[LostinVA]

40. I'll take your word for it... and not about the almond milk

[AutumnMist]

4. True.

Very true. Breastfeeding in public can be done with regard to to the people that are around you in a public space. But it sounds like you understand the whole concept of lunch vs. Victoria's Secret. Thank you for your response. I hope you have a good night. :)

[LeftyMom]

16. Thanks.

A little nursing story: the first time I really ventured out of the house with my son he was about a week old and he, his Dad and I popped over to Safeway to grab some groceries. Needless to say, he started crying to eat. We were just about done shopping, and being a bit uncomfortable I tried to get him to content himself with my nuckle for a few moments so I could feed him in the relative privacy of the car on the way home. He fussed a few moments and amazingly enough settled down. I puttered around the store a bit more, awed by my nascent parenting prowess. But I kept hearing this dripping noise. Suddenly I realized that dripping noise was coming from my soaked shirt (nursing pads! ha! I'd have needed towels!) dripping onto the linoleum below. I hadn't noticed because the milk was body temperature.

From then on I decided that if my choices were feeding my kid or looking like I'd just got off the log ride there wasn't much of a choice to be made. :)

[Midlodemocrat]

32. Flat out certifiable if you ask me.

Incoherent at best.

[mark414]

2. american puritanism and sexual repression

[petronius]

6. Because those boobies belong to me, dammit!

Get that brat out of the way. :silly:

[AutumnMist]

7. My Husband Felt The Same Way At Times

you are not alone in your quest. LOL

[Left Is Write]

10. Because...

some people cannot separate the breast from its sexual connotations. They believe there is something weird or sick or perverted about breastfeeding, even if they aren't consciously aware of having such feelings.

Breastfeeding hasn't been "normalized" for some folks - and their outward attitudes toward breastfeeding and BFIP will ensure that it never is.

[AutumnMist]

13. I Agree With That

Great post! Thanks! :)

[LostinVA]

27. Some people are really weird about this

They've been quite a few DU posters over the years who think this way, too.

[Zomby Woof]

14. Mother Nature made 'em for a reason

I don't agree with the negativity either. It has worked for the species, and all other mammals, for hundreds of thousands of years.

I was raised in an era in which bottle-feeding was preferred - supposedly because of healthcare and technology advances (what a brave new world, etc.). Now that natural feeding is back in vogue, we're probably better off (although I don't think we bottle-feeders were irreparably harmed - despite what the less-visible but still vocal anti-bottle faction says).

Too many people are too hung up about too many things. :hi:

[fortyfeetunder]

17. This is isolated to a Murkan problem

I too sought to understand the negative reaction. However, I bf'd my kid in a bus, train, plane, car, boat, mall, hall, but NEVER EVER in a restroom.

Here's a book recommendation: "Our Babies, Ourselves", which discusses ethnopediatrics, and the attitudes world wide. I found out it's mostly in the good old USA where bf, especially in public is a problem (as others have said, it's sexuality focus). Unless any DUer can point out any similar international attitude....

[tjwmason]

48. The U.K. too. n/t

[fortyfeetunder]

18. deleted-dupe

[mad-mommy]

19. Whatever you decide, no one should criticize.

Breastfeeding is the best choice for babies, just do a little research...anyone can find out why.

Unfortunately, I had no luck with it. My first baby, there were some complications, and I was given text book explanations of all the bad things that it could have been. It turned out to be nothing, but I left the hospital scared to death, and was therefore very nervous...not good for breastfeeding. I continued to try, but I had latching problems. I called La Leche who told me to NOT use a bottle, but a medicine dropper to feed the baby either expressed milk or if I had to, formula, and to continue trying. In this case, he was having dry diapers most of the day, and finally a friend stepped in and said give him a bottle, or he would dehydrate. My hubby then said enough is enough, and bottle feeding formula would not be the end of the world. After we bottle fed, he became the most happy and content baby. When I had the 2nd baby, I tried again, and the same thing happened...plus I had a lot of cramping with it, and I recalled the first time, and thought I would not put myself through that again. I was later told, by someone I was very close with, who I looked up to, who was great at breastfeeding, that the babies didn't have a problem...I had a problem, and I failed. Nice. But my friend who breastfed 2 babies had great difficulty with her third and decided to just do formula. Her one boy who was breastfed was always sick, and the formula fed baby was always healthy. So she told me to put away any reservations that I had cheated my baby from good immunity. That made me feel a bit better.

Breastfeeding is best, but if you can't do it, or don't want to, there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding. It just seemed that bottle feeding and pacifiers were such a big no-no with our La leche, and I didn't like that. I know women who did breast, or formula, who did both, and women who expressed milk and then bottle fed. Whatever you decide, no one should criticize.

[MissMillie]

29. I'll second this.

And thank you for saying it.

[nosillies]

31. Thirded, nice post n/t

[Liberal Veteran]

20. You got me. Seeing a woman nursing her child is heartwarming.

I don't see the big problem with it.

[Karenina]

45. Some don't even seem to notice it

as they conduct their business...

[Skittles]

21. it is misogyny, pure and simple

and yes, alas, it is quite rampant in DU just like it is in the outside world

[qnr]

22. Hmmm. I'd think jealousy. No one carries us around, grabbing our butts

while feeding us nummies from fun dispensers.
Edit: Oh yeah, and not only allowing, but encouraging us to burp at will!

I could be wrong though.

[Xipe Totec]

44. I was thinking the same thing

:rofl:

[qnr]

49. Ah, good. At least I'm not the only one :) n/t

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. Apart from the rather obvious sexual connotations

a good deal of it is socio-economic. There's a persistent attitude among some that women who breast-feed do so at least partially because they can't afford formula, or maybe they're just dirty hippies.

So it's not only that they don't want to see a breast (because breasts, of course, are bad things), they don't want to see That Woman's breast because... well, just because! Harumph, harumph!

[NMMNG]

24. People are foolish

Women can parade around with tops cut down to there and skirts cut up to there, but if they have part of a boob showing to feed a child it's scandalous. Men can run around shirtless with tight shorts that show off their entire package and nobody says anything but see a baby sucking on a boob and the world is coming to an end.

People need to get a grip.

[Evoman]

25. I don't get it either.

Too many fucking prudes in our society is what I'm guessing. These are the same kinds of people who freaked out when janet jackson showed a booby.

Oh my god no...please not a nipple. A nipple! You just destroyed my childs mind!

[LostinVA]

30. I was sitting four feet from the TV watching that halftime show

And I NEVER saw the nipple. Trust me, I am a "breast woman," I would have noticed it if it was noticeable.

People in this country are nutso about this stuff.

[Deja Q]

28. Babies can breastfeed but adults can't? No freakin' way!

:P

[vi5]

33. Are you serious?

The venom I've seen directed at people I know how didn't or couldn't breastfeed was far more vitriolic and plentiful than anything I've seen directed at those who do breastfeed. It seems like the breastfeeding disdain is largely reserved for doing so in public. But as for whether to do it or whether it's healthier or not I don't think there's any doubt that the pro-breastfeeding forces are much more vehement and dogmatic in their stance.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. the attitude is about breastfeeding in public...

and its because all womens activities should be relegated to the private sphere...its misogyny

[tigereye]

38. I never had anyone say anything odd or rude to me

and I breastfed my child pretty much everywhere - discreetly, of course. I don't really understand what the complaints are about.... :shrug:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

39. Because they're just plain fucking stupid?

If somebody's got a better reason, I'd like to hear it.

[LoZoccolo]

41. The controversy is more about breastfeeding in public...

...or, sometimes, about breastfeeding for a very long time (like five years), rather than breastfeeding in general.

[elfrangel]

42. Tried Breastfeeding

when my son was born...just could not get it to work. At the time, we were on medicaid & WIC, so that meant they REALLY pushed breastfeeding. I tried for a month w/no luck, I was crying regularly b/c I was so frustrated. Thankfully, we had to have him on formula anyway b/c of jaundice..so no worries about dehydration.

When we went back into the health department for a weigh in, we were given the third degree b/c I wanted to quit breastfeeding. My husband just about came unglued at the way they spoke to me & how they treated me. Luckily, I also had an in-home nurse who came to see me. She was great b/c she told me that I didn't need to worry, it wasn't the end of the world. He had a few weeks of bf-milk and was going to be fine.

We still had problems once we switched to formula only, but we figured out that it was b/c he was lactose intolerant. We had to find a water based formula to use w/ no milk products in it. Finally found it in Similac Alimentum Ready Made - the powder had milk solids in it.

He's fine now...has the immune system of iron. He rarely gets sick, but I know that it is b/c he inherited his daddy's immune system.

[reyd reid reed]

43. It's public breastfeeding that seems to be a bone of contention

But when baby's hungry, baby's hungry. They don't care whether you're in the mall or at Olive Garden or in your bedroom. And it's silly. I fed my kids in public and didn't care what anyone said. I did drape, though.

[ChoralScholar]

46. Who knows...

do what you gotta do.... Whip it out... right now if you want... after all, it's not about the spectators, it's about nourishing your child.

Fuck 'em and feed 'em fish heads.

[petronius]

47. I wonder if it really isn't a sexual thing at all

Someone mentioned to me today that for many men, their first glimpse of a breast was in a National Geographic. I'd imagine that many of us get our first exposure to breast feeding the same way. So perhaps it isn't so much boob-envy, but rather that we have internalized an image of breast-feeding as something 'primitive,' 'tribal,' or 'uncivilized,' - which, of course, are synonymous with 'just not done in polite society.'