My most serious injury was more serious than your most serious injury.

[ohiosmith]

November 29, 1976: Hit black ice on the Vedder Canal bridge outside of Chilliwack, B.C. Went over the embankment. 80 foot drop.

>Shattered kneecap

>Fractured sternum

>27 facial fractures

>Jaw broken in four places

>20 teeth knocked out

Top that.

[petronius]

1. Grading papers just this morning

On left index finger, paper cut:

> 2 mm in length, 0.5 mm in depth

> slight bleeding

> irritating stinging sensation

> 45 second medical operation to apply small-sized self-adhesive bandage

> reduced functionality in finger for remainder of morning


(OK, I'm just kidding - I didn't give myself a papercut...)

:)

[ohiosmith]

3. Damn, you were on the verge of posting the wining entry until you fessed .

up.

[commander bunnypants]

2. no prob

Fx. Hip and acetabulum

RFx elbow.

crushed ankle

busted head

coma x3 days


CB

[LaraMN]

4. My husband fractured- yes FRACTURED his testicle, once.

Although as icky as that was, I think you still win, on the basis of quantity of injuries.

[ohiosmith]

5. I'll take what happen to me over a fractured testicle any day. That's

gotta smart.

[LaraMN]

9. It was bad- he thought he could drive himself to the hospital, since I

wasn't home. He decided pretty quickly that was not going to work. He called everyone he could think of, to drive him, and my friend had to come get him and bring him there. I still owe her for that one!

[MrCoffee]

6. how the hell did he...no, i do not want to know.

but i must know. i'm so torn.

[LaraMN]

8. Game of softball. The hospital was buzzing about his amazing injury.

They'd never seen a testicle fracture, before. He called me, on a morphine drip, and dropped the phone. At first they thought he might lose one or both of the "boys," but he managed to retain them.

[ohiosmith]

13. So what is the treatment for that? A cast, staples? What?

[LaraMN]

14. Morphine and an ice pack.

He had to have it looked at on ultrasound. That, in and of itself, was excrutiating, I guess.

[MrCoffee]

19. a quick death, one would hope.

that's what i'd be praying for, anyway.

[petronius]

10. In the future, can we please have a "MEN DON'T READ THIS" warning

in the subject line? :scared:

I heard an interview with an extreme BMX rider a few months ago, and he mentioned that one of his injuries was a "vaporized testicle." As in, it was so crushed that the surgeons just couldn't find it. I found it very hard to simultaneously drive, cross my legs, and reassure my 'boys' while listening to that...

[madinmaryland]

11. Oh god, i just barfed next to my computer.

Stop it please!!
:puke:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

21. I don't have testicles and I'm getting sympathy pain.

:scared:

[hedgehog]

23. Not to hijack the thread, but why do boy's bikes have that high

cross bar? It looks rather hazardous to me.

[petronius]

25. Every boy asks himself that very question at least once in his life

My personal moment of anguish was courtesy of the gooseneck at the bottom of the handlebars, but it's the same idea...

My theory, which admittedly I can't prove, is that many years ago a woman designed boys bikes as revenge for male-designed female undergarments that pinch, squeeze, and have weirdly placed clasps...

[ohiosmith]

26. Girls' bikes had no cross bar to accommodate skirts.

[hedgehog]

28. But that still begs the question; why have a cross bar right there?

[ohiosmith]

29. So if a girl tried to get on our bikes, we could see their underpants

as they navigated the cross bar.

[hedgehog]

35. But I always wore pants!

I did ride my brothers' bikes often enough to discover for myself that the cross bar can be hazardous.

[ohiosmith]

40. When I was a kid girls didn't were long pants except during the winter,

and then only under a skirt.

[hedgehog]

44. In northern Ohio, we always wore pants.

Except for school, then I had to wear a unform jumper. Oddly enough, my daughters often wear skirts for casual wear.

[ohiosmith]

47. You Northern Ohioans alway did play fast and loose with the rules

governing outerwear.

[hedgehog]

54. Yep, we were wild, wild women.

and cold a lot, too

[northzax]

53. structural strength, actually

the diamond shape it makes allows the bike to be lighter and stronger than the equivalent women's version.

[hedgehog]

57. How comes we can send a man to the moon, but we can't get

rid of the cross bar on boys' bikes!

[northzax]

58. two reasons:

a: we didn't send a man to the moon, we sent them to Sudbury, Ontario.
b: no boy will ride a girl's bike? you want him to turn out funny? huh? I see, you are part of the Gay Recruitment Drive. Miss your quota this month?

[hedgehog]

59. I think those cross bars are a good step toward creating an

inadvertent transsexual.

(peace - I don't hope I'm not offending any actual transsexuals out there.)

[northzax]

60. better that than Queer

that's what Reverend Jerry says.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

27. What can fracture in the testicle?

WTF?

:wtf:

:rofl:

[northzax]

51. I ruptured a testicle once

of course, it wasn't mine, but it was my knee that did the rupturing. sickening sound. (full disclosure, I was a keeper, and no one, I mean no one, comes into my box without getting hit, this was just really bad luck for him.

[Redneck Socialist]

71. "no one...comes into my box without getting hit..."

I'm just going to let that one stand all by itself. :evilgrin:

[northzax]

72. hey, I felt bad about it

but I didn't even get whistled for a penalty, perfectly leal, non-malicious play, just really, really, really bad luck

[ghostsofgiants]

7. You're right...

My worst injury was a nastily stubbed toe.

[Chan790]

12. Tripped over a lawn reindeer and

punctured my carotid, nearly bleeding to death, when I was 8. My kid brother, 6, just stood there pointing and laughing at me instead of running for help. I only forgave him for it last year.

[qnr]

15. Yours beats mine, but mine was acquired under interesting circumstances,

when a water-tight door slammed me in the face during a storm in the Drake Passage on the way to Antarctica. I won't elaborate though, your injuries win!

[cwydro]

31. now THAT

sounds like an adventure...painful, but an adventure nonetheless. Merchant Marine? Navy?:hi:

[qnr]

36. Coast Guard - the polar icebreakers are all run by them. n/t

[cwydro]

41. I'm jealous

wanted to join the Coast Guard back when I was a whippersnapper...but they didn't take women then. Damn, seems like the best branch of the service and I just love the ocean....:(

[qnr]

48. Ah, that's too bad :/ when I was in, the CG was the best service for

women for a long time, there were almost no restrictions on what they could do.

[datasuspect]

16. early 80s

i was a drifter in the pacific northwest, just trying to find a place to eat and the sheriff started hassling me. well, one thing led to another and i had to stitch a really bad gash on my arm by myself in a cave.

[ohiosmith]

17. Fucking long haired hippy freak. No wonder we lost the war.

[petronius]

24. . . .

:spray:

Assuming you were kidding, that was fucking hilarious...

[ohiosmith]

34. I never kid about hippies or stemware.

[datasuspect]

43. reactionary

do you still have that spiro agnew fan club card?

joking.

[ohiosmith]

68. And an autographed photo.

[Zavulon]

18. I can't top that, but if you count separate incidents I can compete.

I've been shot, stabbed, I've broken my neck and 28 other bones, I've even had a vasectomy :) . None of it hurt as badly as a case of the gout I had last year, either.

[Crabby Appleton]

50. I have gout, had attacks that feel like bones have been

crushed and splintered, with beavers chewing on the splintered ends, Have 3 ruptured lumbar disks that rank right up there on the pain-o-meter with bad gout attack. Next worse was broken rib. Two bullet wounds, hand and thigh, knife wound other thigh, Thighs are a good place to get it as long as no bones or the femoral artery hit, not many nerve endings, relatively speaking.

[Zavulon]

67. Okay, I withdraw.

My knife wound was in the upper thigh, my bullet wound was just above my right knee, but I've only got one of each. You've got me beat, bud.

[puerco-bellies]

20. Point Blank Abdominal Gun Shot Wound.

Venae Cavae vein damaged, intestines resectioned, temporary nerve damage to my lower right leg. I got very lucky, as I was being wheeled in to the ER a surgeon that saw extensive service in Vietnam was finishing an operation in that hospital (This happened in 1974 when I was 15). I'll never forget my Mom's face as she left the room and a priest entered to give me last rites.

[cwydro]

33. who the hell shoots a 15 year old??

[puerco-bellies]

73. A gang-banger from my own high school

I was at a party in a neighborhood I should not have been in.

[dpbrown]

22. Depressed skull fracture requiring removal of part of the skull

Required revolutionary (at the time - 1965) bone graft surgery to craft a new part of the skull.

[hedgehog]

30. But I have funnier accidents

Ex. 1 Slip on an icy slope while carrying two water cans for the chickens. Fly up in the air and land flat on my back. I lay there in amazement noticing that I really could see stars, just like in the cartoons.

Ex. 2 Stand on a chair on the porch to hang a potted plant. Lean forward just a little too far and make a swan dive onto the gravel driveway. Fortunately, I am clumsy enough to be experienced in these matters and when I felt the chair go I leaped over the concrete sidewalk and kept my face up out of the gravel. My bloody knees scared the hell out of the kids, though. I told them, "see, that's why you should always use a step ladder!"

[cwydro]

32. ouch!

[hedgehog]

38. I also bleed a lot.

It freaks out other people when they see all the blood,but I'm used to it. I think it's a red headed thing.

[petronius]

46. Two questions:

1) When you saw the stars, was it night?

2) Why do you think you wouldn't have fallen off the step ladder as well?

:shrug:

[hedgehog]

56. It was about 8 AM on a bright, sunny wintry day.

The step ladder would have been tall enough that I wouldn't have been reaching as far as I could.

Clumsiness is a side effect of having very short legs and always running along to catch up with all the tall people I live with.

[BreweryYardRat]

37. Self-inflicted through youthful stupidity.

Had jock itch when I was 12.

In trying to get rid of it, I scrubbed a good chunk of the epidermis off my balls...several times.

A few weeks later, I was informed by a doctor that jock itch sticks to the sides of the thighs/outside of the crotch, and doesn't get on the scrotum itself.

[hedgehog]

39. I'm gonna be laughing all night now.

I have a lot of questions, but I think they're better left unasked.

[BreweryYardRat]

42. Yeah, it's funny in retrospect.

And no, I don't have much feeling left in the areas where I lost skin. Think I damaged some nerve endings.

[hedgehog]

45. Double ouch.

I never even thought of that.

[Rabrrrrrr]

49. I was once crucified for the sins of humanity, with non-sterilized nails.

Talk about infections!! Christ. I mean, sheesh.

[ohiosmith]

55. HEY! Cut the crap. You knew exactly what you were in for. And I'm sick

of you whining about not being able to walk on water or pick up a hand full of M&Ms anymore.

[ScreamingMeemie]

61. My God!! Why have you forsaken him?

[petronius]

62. Go straight to Hell. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

Still, I'd never considered that question - does Jesus sink when he tries to walk on water with holes in his feet? It's way more interesting than that old angels on a pin conundrum...

[BarenakedLady]

52. You can win this contest

That's cool with me.

[caty]

63. 8 years old...

Broke my collar bone the day before a new neighborhood swimming pool opened up at the beginning of summer. :cry:

[hedgehog]

64. you win for the saddest accident.

[Red State Rebel]

65. How about "should have been dead but was barely hurt"?

About 15 years ago while driving under an overpass a Volvo came off the overpass and landed on our vehicle. Had we not been in a Suburban, it would have been a disaster - as it was my 3 girls and I were only slightly bumped and bruised.

[Redstone]

66. 27 facial fractures is hard to beat, but I'll try:

Fell about 10 feet with a (roughly) 60-pound pack on my back, and something I didn't want to drop or slam into the ground in my right hand.

Landed on my right leg, leg fully extended, like an idiot. Compressive injuries to right ankle, knee, hip, lower back. Two broken bones in right foot.

Immediately pivoted and landed on fully-extended left arm, again like an idiot. Left little finger broken and laying horizontally across palm of hand. Broken left wrist and elbow, with compressive injuries to left shoulder and upper spine.

Set the finger myself (and not well; it's still crooked), and used a pencil as a splint. Taped with friction tape.

Found one of those L-shaped folding wire stocks from an AKSS (or whatever it went on; I'm not sure after all these years) and used it as a splint for the elbow. Splinted wrist with some scrounged piece of curved metal.

Taped arm from shoulder to hand with about 16 rolls of that black friction tape we all carried around to keep stuff quiet and non-reflective. 11 days after that in the field before being able to see a doctor.

But still, 27 broken facial bones? I do not think that mine beats yours, at all.

And there's another DUer who makes the both of us, and everyone else combined, look like amateurs in the survival sweepstakes. I'll stand in awe of him forever.

Redstone

[av8rdave]

69. Severed a thumb, had it reimplanted (along with a skin graft)

However, I don't think that tops yours. You win!

[electron_blue]

70. Ya got me beat! Yikes. I hope you're okay now. But lemme tell you

if my ex were on this thread he'd have everyone beat with his semi-monthly accidents.

[sakabatou]

74. Well not single injureies...

3 concussions
Daily migraines for about 6 months
Temporary paralysis
Broken foot
Broken fingers
Hit by 3 cars
Pretty much every bone in my body bruised
Gashed palms
Screwdriver wound

I know I have some stuff missing...

[hedgehog]

75. Accidents or body parts?

[sakabatou]

76. Umm... not sure what you're asking... so

I'll just list again with reasons/explanations

3 concussions (thank you high-ranking sparing!)
Daily migraines for about 6 months (due to me not be diagnosed with my disorder yet)
Temporary paralysis (accident)
Broken foot (accident)
Broken fingers (accident)
Hit by 3 cars (accidnet)
Pretty much every bone in my body bruised (martial arts)
Gashed palms (accident)
Screwdriver wound (someone stabbed me with one, accidently. He was swinging it around like a lunatic and I just happened to wal by at the wrong moment)

[hedgehog]

77. I was speculating as to what's missing:

your memory or assorted body parts!

[sakabatou]

78. Couldn't remember if I'm missing any other major injuries

that's it.