Advice on dealing with a friend's bitter breakup

[liberalpragmatist]

Some background: I'm 21, single (male), and aside from some dating, haven't had a serious, long-term relationship.

My best friend and roommate here in college has been with his girlfriend for five years. They've been very serious, very close, but my friend hasn't been happy for nearly a year. And where his girlfriend is absolutely convinced they ought to get married and spend the rest of their lives together, my friend says he can't see themselves together for the rest of his life.

So it looks like they're currently going through a very bitter and very sad breakup. Without knowing the particulars and without knowing the interested parties personally, I realize any kind of advice you guys can give will be pretty limited. Still, I figure this is a situation a lot of you can relate to.

What advice do you all have for how I should act in all this? I guess what I'm really asking for is how you've all acted in similar circumstances (especially guys). I want my friend to know that I'm happy to listen and give him advice if he seeks it, but I don't want to give him bad advice or make him feel uncomfortable or like I'm overstepping the bounds.

Help? :shrug:

[VenusRising]

1. My best advice is to get a sixer.

Bring it home, pop open two, hand one to your bud and tell him he can talk to you about anything anytime and that's you're there for him. That not only lets him know, but he can either choose to drown his sorrows or lighten the lad by getting things off his chest.

Good luck!!

[emmajane67]

2. Yeah, I concur with the above poster.

Don't bad mouth his girlfriend, they may get back together then you'll look like an ass.

Listen and offer advice if it's obvious, even if it's life advice, not to do with the relationship ie. get some sleep, eat some dinner, don't go be a total whore until you're ready, maybe going to the gym will help you release some emotional baggage etc etc etc.

Distraction activities help too, he may not want to be round loads of people but it may help, or take a trip, drag him to the supermarket, get some crappy, funny DVDs out.

Don't try and distract him by trying to set him up with every single girl you know.

You sound like a good friend, I'm sure you'll do the right thing.