Can Someone Cheer Me Up

[Jack_Dawson]

I met this girl. She was beautiful, funny, could talk sports. We clicked. We called/texted each other all the time. No fighting, everything great. This lasted six weeks. Then she tells me she reconnected with some on-again, off-again guy 16 years older than her and they're going to give it another chance. Then she said "actually when I met you I wasn't really...available." This from a girl who was constantly saying "I'm so into you". Whatever. I'm having a hard time moving on though, because she was so cool and fun. We had major chemistry. It was the first woman I've ever met where I seriously thought - this one is marriage material. Then it all vanished, with no warning whatsoever. Only upside, I've dropped 15 lbs.

[Cabcere]

1. Sorry to hear about that, Jack

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

...does that help any? :hi:

[Jack_Dawson]

2. Actually...

Anything helps...Thx.

[Cabcere]

4. Any time.

:hug: Sorry I don't have any sage advice or words of wisdom for you (I don't have the best luck when it comes to relationships either), but I'm sending good vibes your way. :hi: Peace!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

3. Sounds like you were the rebound guy, the one

she used to soothe her hurt feelings about the other one.

It's a dreadful situation to be in. :-(

[Jack_Dawson]

8. I fear you are correct

Ick.

[NC_Nurse]

5. It'll happen.

If not her, another. Hang in there! :hug:

[Lost-in-FL]

6. Her loss...

On the brighter side, you just saved yourself the Valentines Day expense!!!

Just trying to cheer you up! Sorry about what happened. :hug:

[Guava Jelly]

7. Oh my friend!

I am so sorry!
"And This Too Shall Pass"
I have no advice that can cure a broken heart
But i will give you a funny tune
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9Zp-u2B4sK8
Dynamite Hack - Boyz in tha Hood

I wish you luck

[sakabatou]

9. Okay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAAIx2Tfasw

[Left Is Write]

10. Will this help?

:hug:

[wildhorses]

11. sorry about that--it sux

[flashlighter]

12. I'm sorry Jack. I'm drinking tonight because of a StupidBoy much

like your StupidGirl. Have a drink and we'll e-commiserate.

[Jack_Dawson]

13. Tell me your story...

or...PM me your story. Misery loves company.

[Connonym]

14. Don't know about cheer

but I too can offer a :hug: of sympathy. We've all been there and it sucks every time yet somehow enough of us keep the dream alive long enough to perpetuate the species. I hope your heart feels better soon.

[Whoa_Nelly]

15. Sounds like she's got issue...unresolved issues

May have been fun while you with her, but doesn't sound too stable in her life at the moment.

Sorry you had to go through all this. Totally understand your pain and confusion :hug:

[Jack_Dawson]

16. Thanks WN

:hug:

[applegrove]

17. Sorry to hear that. You've learnt some stuff about who you'd want to

be with in the future. Makes you wiser. Cry for a bit. Then get back out there and look for the one. You've got a clue what she would be like. They say it takes about 7 relationships to figure out what type of person you'll belong with and be happy with. You've just improved your odds of making the right choice. Be sad for the loss but joyful about the experience. You've earned it.

[Jack_Dawson]

18. Yeah...

I learned the one I want doesn't want me. I'm trying to see the upside of that, but am having a hard time. Thx tho.

JD

[zonkers]

19. Dawson -- what can you do? Better you found out earlier than later.

Just keep putting it out there.

[SPKrazy]

20. Sounds like she was just

keeping you there in case things didn't work out with the other guy maybe?

I don't know, it sounds like a painful situation, one that I've experienced similarly in my younger days.

This too shall pass. She isn't the one though you thought that.

Sorry friend.

:hug:

[Pushed To The Left]

21. You are definitely better off!

It sounds like she wasn't honest with you, and dishonesty can lead to lots of very bad relationship problems! I still don't know which of my ex-fiance's stories is true about her dating another man before she decided to break up with me. She had one story the day she broke it off, another the next day when she tried to smooth things over, and a third one when she sent me a nasty "final word" e-mail. Take it from me: Dishonest women are not good for anybody!

[Jack_Dawson]

25. So...

First of all...I appreciate you sharing your story. It helps. So how long til you were over it?

[Pushed To The Left]

28. I immediately knew I was better off, but I was still pretty emotional

It was a situation where I hadn't been happy in the relationship for a long time, but still tried to make things work. It still hurt to have a woman who I was engaged to and had been in a relationship with for over 7 years to dump me over the phone after revealing she had been dating somebody else before calling me a "pathetic loser" and hanging up the phone. In my situation, the relationship had been dying a very slow, painful death. My fiance actually treated me pretty badly a lot of the time.

What made it hard is that she called me the next day to reveal that she didn't actually date this other guy, but had just taken his number and talked on the phone. She said she made up the story about dating and kissing him to "make the breakup easier". She hinted at getting back together, and when I didn't bite, she became immediately cold and hostile and the conversation ended badly. When she sent me her "final word" sadistic e-mail, she had a third version of her story saying that she had been dating this other guy but hadn't kissed him...until the day before she wrote the e-mail. She basically went into an attack on me, the relationship, and even my family. That e-mail actually gave me closure. I knew that anybody that would write such a hateful e-mail to somebody she had already dumped was never worth anything at all. The funny thing is, my phone has caller ID now, and she has tried to call me quite a few times, the last time in late January (she dumped me in August). Needless to say, I didn't answer! She's the one that told me not to contact her "in any way shape or form", that my e-mail addresses had been blocked, that she had caller ID and wouldn't take my calls, and that the lock on her gate had been changed!

So, I probably ended up recovering faster than some people would, but that is because of the emotional and verbal abuse I took in the relationship. I was already mourning the impending loss of the relationship before it actually ended, so in a sense I was prepared. I still haven't dated since the breakup, though. We would have had the wedding last week, and the biggest feeling I have about that right now is relief and thankfulness. It still makes me sad to think about losing my "bug" (I know, strange petname, but it used to mean a lot to me)because we actually had some sweet moments and some great memories. But I realize that she turned out to be somebody who couldn't be trusted and was no longer a "bug". She hadn't been in quite some time.

Again, I think you actually dodged a bullet, because this woman was 1. not honest with you and 2. dated you while she wasn't "available" meaning that she was being unfaithful to somebody. That kind of reminds me of my ex-fiance, who didn't even say she was engaged when the other guy approached her, just that she was "in a bad relationship". You are definitely better off! If you had ended up in a relationship with somebody this dishonest, you may have ended up in much more pain later on.

[Jack_Dawson]

29. Her sadistic email gave you closure

How could it not? What a bitch...seriously. I WISH this chick was a bitch but she's taken the whole "Ohhhhh there's something I have to tell you and I feel so bad..." thing. Anyway - totally fucked up. The week before this whole thing blew up in my face I even asked her...hey is there some reason I shouldn't be totally into you, because I'm feeling like I'm going that direction. Her reply: "NO! I'm TOTALLY into you!" So I gave her the OUT and she didn't take it. Whatever...shit happens. I could be in Iraq getting my legs blown off so I know things could be a lot worse...I just tend to get wrapped up in my head. Aaaaanyway, I appreciate your email. Every little bit lends perspective and helps. Thx. :toast:

JD

[Blue_Roses]

22. I've been

right where you are. A few years ago, I dated a guy fresh out of a marriage. We clicked big time. Chemistry was awesome and then poof! He said he wasn't ready to head down that road again --:wtf: It was really tough for a while 'cause I basically took it that I wasn't "enough" when it was really his deal. (took many chats and beers with myself and friends to make it sink in) Shortly after, I decided to get on with making ME happy and it wasn't long that I met my spouse of 10 years. Even though he drives me nuts sometimes, I couldn't see myself with anyone else (unless maybe George Clooney:P --won't be holding my breath on that one!)

If it doesn't work out with her, then there is somebody MORE awesome waiting to meet YOU. Be open to it, even though I know it's hard right now.

You sound like a wonderful person. It will happen, but in the meantime, remember there are those who do care. :hug:

[Jack_Dawson]

26. Thanks Blue

I feel really isolated and alone and like :wtf: was I a piece of meat or something? I'm sure it's some kind of karma coming home to roost but it still stings. I appreciate your words. So how did you meet your spouse?

JD

[Redstone]

23. That happens. Pull up your socks and go on to the next one (not like you have

any alternative to doing exactly that).

Not pretty, but true.

Redstone

[Catfight]

24. I'm so sorry, the "I wasn't really available," line is a load of chit. She

went back to what she knows and feels comfortable about. Please understand and really know, this has nothing to do with you. You did everything right, it's her stuff, don't spend too much time mourning someone that doesn't respect herself, she actually saved you from a lot of confusion and heartache. She would have played you and tapped into every insecurity you ever had and eventually you would have been damaged. She isn't cool and fun, she was a fake and she knew it, that's why she went 'back.' If it's any consolation, her reconnection won't work and she'll most likely call you once it goes bad again to see if you're still available for her to use up again. Best advise I can give you is change your number and do whatever it takes to NEVER let her back into your life, you will always be second in her life and you deserve WAY more than that. There's someone out there for you, just be yourself and really get to know a person before you start thinking about a lifetime.

I feel for you...know again, this is not your stuff...she's confused and insecure. You didn't break her, you don't have to fix her. Let it go and be happy she's not in your life to ruin it. You'll find someone who enhances your life, trust me. There's many good women out there for you.

[Morgana LaFey]

27. I know it hurts like hell

but I can promise you -- and I'll even put it in writing! -- that you are better off without her, AND that she's the loser here. You do not want anything to do with any woman who would (a) treat you like that and (b) treat you like that. I know it doesn't feel like it, but you're lucky, lucky, lucky that you didn't get any further along in the relationship.

Let her go and thank your lucky stars.

So sorry. BUT on the plus side (well, aside from all that "good luck" you've just had :evilgrin: ) it's often the case that you get these "practice mates" out of the way and then the real one comes along, and then you're more ready and can better appreciate her. I hope that's the case for you.

Go ahead and feel sorry for yourself for a while, and lick your wounds, and then get outta there and go DO something with yourself. The usual advice is to BE the love for yourself that you'd like to have (if that makes any sense).

[grace0418]

30. Sorry Jack

That's so tough. I hope things get better soon.

[judaspriestess]

31. this means you are getting closer to the right one for you

she was a sneak peak of what is to come.

Remember the law of attraction, tell the universe what you want everyday and it will come to you....

[Skittles]

32. she's a flake, Jack

let her go; you can do much better