Swami Beyondananda’s 2007 State of the Universe Address

[helderheid]

Swami Beyondananda’s
2007 State of the Universe Address

Humanifest Destiny
From Survival of the Fittest to
Thrival of the Fittingest

Note. This year, the Swami insisted on delivering the State of the Universe Address on February 2nd, Ground Hog Day because “it’s the closest anyone comes to seeing their shadow all year.” Said the Swami, “Look at us. America is the most heavily armed country in the world, and still we’re afraid of our own shadow. We seem stuck in a state of emergency, so we must declare a state of ‘emerge ‘n see’ instead. Like the ground hog, we must emerge from our separate little holes and see we are all in this together. And we must see our shadow -- otherwise, we’re in for another long season of darkness. We must laugh at the shadow as well. I call on everyone to shine the light of laughter on the endarkened corridors of power, because there’s definitely something funny going on. May we wake up laughing and leave laughter in our wake.”

Another earth year has passed, and for what it is worth I am happy to report that once again the universe is doing just great, thank you, purring with perfection, ever-changing same as always. Light is still cruising along at 186,000 miles per second, and the expanding universe shows no signs of contracting. At this rate, it won’t be long before they’ll have to let the photon belt out another notch.

Meanwhile back here on our own little center of the universe, the human race seems to be racing against time. Those Concerned Scientists have just moved the Doomsday clock up to five minutes till midnight, and even some of the unconcerned scientists are getting concerned. With all due respect to Wilson Pickett, if this midnight hour ever comes it won’t be love that comes tumblin’ down. Well, maybe tough love.

The good news is, the alarm is getting louder, making it more difficult to hit snooze. The Chinese say crisis means opportunity, and opportunity sure seems to be knocking. If it knocks any harder, it’s going to knock down the door. The polar ice caps are melting -- north and south -- which means on top of everything else this crazy world now officially has bipolar disorder. No wonder the penguins are flocking to Hollywood. The polar bears are now on the Endangered Species List, right up there with us. We humans do seem to have the Endangering Species List pretty much to ourselves, though.

Much much more >>>

http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/news.html

[helderheid]

1. More - with snaps given to Colbert and Stewert!

An Evolutionary Upwising!

Fortunately, people are waking up and wising up. An evolutionary upwising is gathering esteem all across America, and not a moment too soon. Confidence in the powers that be in power hit Iraq bottom last year, and once again -- thanks to the Daily Show and Colbert Report -- fake news was the greatest source of truth. The “we’re-going-to-heaven-and-everyone-else-can-go-to-hell” crowd continued to expose itself -- in more ways than one -- and more and more Americans awoke to the realization that the real abomination is to bomb a nation.

Riding on the groundswell of this upwising, the unarmed forces won an important victory in November. As predicted, the evolution was officially launched when the first big shot was fired the day after election day. And the farce was with us as well. The last two Republican Senators to concede defeat were Burns and Allen, and more than a few corrupt Congressfolk were shown the door and told to “say goodnight, disgracie.”

The President, meanwhile, stepped up his counterintelligence program to the point where just about everything he does runs counter to intelligence. But now it looks like even Republicans may be ready to put the “decider” through the decider mill, no doubt afraid that with two more years of this, the party of Lincoln and Ford might go the way of the Edsel.

Something else happened this year. Thanks to Al Gore the media finally warmed up to climate change, and global warming became a hot issue. As soon as “Inconvenient Truth” hit the theaters, the Bush Administration counterattacked with it’s own version of the story, “Convenient Lies.” And the biggest cause of global warming? Global warmongering. We humans spend over a trillion dollars a year on weapons of deadlihood when we could be weaving a web of livelihood. No wonder the ‘hood is so deadly. And we’ve rationalized this dysfunctional persistent “riches to rubble” war program as a “necessary evil” without bothering to stand for peace as a “necessary good.”

[snot]

2. I concur with Swami B's foolosophy,

even the puns -- though they make me groan, they're quite cleverly meaningful. Kudos!

[helderheid]

3. big fat kick

[helderheid]

4. DU NEEDS THIS

[helderheid]

5. thanks for all the recs - my work is done