Another article about the couple having sex and letting the 9 year old watch

[XemaSab]

Sex-ed method leads to felony charges

01:00 AM EST on Saturday, February 10, 2007

By Edward Fitzpatrick

Journal Staff Writer

PROVIDENCE — A Woonsocket mother and her boyfriend are facing felony child-neglect charges in Family Court after allegedly telling investigators they had intercourse in front of the woman’s 9-year-old daughter in order to teach her about sex.

David Prata, 33, and Rebecca Arnold, 36, of 559 Park Ave., are accused of habitually neglecting the girl in 2004 “by providing an environment that is lewd and depraved in a manner that makes their home unfit for the child to live in,” according to court records. They have pleaded not guilty.

The allegations came to light on Dec. 14, 2004, when the Child Abuse Hotline received a call from a teacher in North Adams, Mass. The teacher said the girl had recently come to live with her biological father in North Adams after spending the summer with her mother in Woonsocket.

The girl, who is now 11, told the teacher that her mother had sex with her boyfriend in front of her and that the mother did not care if the girl was watching, according to a report by Vanessa E. Ciesla, a child-protective investigator with the state Department of Children, Youth and Families.

Ciesla spoke with Prata the next day. “Mr. Prata said that he and mother believe in a free and open relationship and don’t want to hide anything from ,” the report states.

Ciesla asked Prata what he meant by a free and open relationship. “If wants to learn anything about sex, we teach her,” Prata replied.

The investigator asked Prata if he masturbated on a couch while watching pornographic videos, and if the girl was present when he did that. “Yes,” Prata replied.

More at link:

http://www.projo.com/news/content/neglect10_02-10-07_3T4C0QV.1b19c86.html

=================================
EDIT: COPYRIGHT. PLEASE POST ONLY
4 OR 5 PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COPYRIGHTED
NEWS SOURCE PER DU RULES.

[Katherine Brengle]

1. The more I read about this, the more I see abuse.

I was willing to be open minded when I read the first story, but this shit is ridiculous.

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. No kidding.

This isn't about sexual health or esteem, it's about perverts getting off on having sex in front of a child.

[XemaSab]

8. I think the mom is grossly negligent, and the boyfriend should go to jail

NB that she lives with her dad. They don't usually grant the dad custody, so that makes me think the mom did something before this. x(

[Katherine Brengle]

9. Why shouldn't the mother go to jail?

I'm not giving her a pass on this.

[XemaSab]

12. I think the mother sounds like a classic abuse victim

I would bet that she was molested, and hooked up with another molester to continue the cycle.

I don't think she should be allowed unsupervised visits with the child, ever, but what would jail time really accomplish? Having her child and boyfriend taken away should be lesson enough.

[Katherine Brengle]

13. Even if someone is victimized, it doesn't give them the right

to become an abuser. I think this woman needs some intensive therapy, and without more details it is difficult for me to say if she belongs in jail or not, but at this point I'm leaning toward yes.

[XemaSab]

14. True dat.

Sure, send her to jail too. Break the cycle.

[Katherine Brengle]

17. I don't even know what you meant by that.

IMO, there is no excuse good enough in this world for hurting a child. And people who hurt children should be kept as far away from them as humanly possible.

:shrug:

[XemaSab]

18. I think she was more negligent than abusive

But she should be punished, yes.

[Katherine Brengle]

19. Could be, but we certainly agree on the punishment part.

I do feel for her if she was abused herself, and I really hope that if that's the case she gets some help.

[Neoma]

3. Huh.

Odd way to find out about sex.

[Deja Q]

4. There was a woman from Woonsocket...

An 8 year old is a second or third grader. In my day, we didn't get to learn about jiggy until 5th grade...

[Bucky]

26. Who watched as her mother would rock it

Hmmm, we learned to talk & giggle about jiggy in 5th grade, but I don't think anyone in my crowd got there till 8th.

[SPKrazy]

5. This Is Horrible Abuse

the bizarre thing is that I don't know that the abusers both realized it was that. Maybe they both did. I suspect one of them was abused in the same way and just thought it was "normal"

:puke:

:mad:

[mike_c]

6. sigh-- I still don't think it's abusive-- bad judgement, bad taste...

...and bad sex ed, but that doesn't make it abusive. It's bad parenting too, IMO-- the girl is just too young to understand, and it violates broadly held taboos against sharing intimacy. It would make my skin crawl to do it. It's a bad idea, any way you look at it. But I don't think it's abusive. If it is, what of all the kids around the world who live in intimate contact with their parents every day and every night? Are they being sexually abused too?

We jump way too easily to apply labels like "sexual abuse" or "child abuse" to cases that simply represent questionable judgment.

[XemaSab]

7. I think this is totally crossing the line

When mom's boyfriend is watching porn and jerking off in front of the girl, that's WAY, WAY, WAY over the line. I think he should go to jail for that. If he was a stranger jerking off in front of a third grader, he would be arrested and sent to jail and he would be labeled a sex offender, and rightly so.

[Katherine Brengle]

10. Are you serious?

I don't even know what to say to that.

[NashVegas]

11. It's Skirting It

Initially, I was more open minded about this, but I can't help but wonder. How would this couple have reacted if the daughter decided to engage? Was their behavior, possibly, an attempt to draw her in, to engage?

[MichiganVote]

15. So it's not illegal? That's your opinion? Then someone's going to a lot

of trouble to prosecute these people, provide counseling for the child, and so on and so forth.

[Laurier]

16. You have got to be kidding.

A man masturbating to porn in front of a 9 year old is certainly beyond "bad judgement, bad taste". It is not about "sharing intimacy" - it is sexually abusive behavior. Many pedophiles do similar things in "grooming" their future victims.

No matter what label you put on it, these are inexcusable actions. I'm glad the little girl will no longer be in the company of the pervert.

[The Magistrate]

21. This Is 'Grooming Behavior', Sir

By the time this girl reached twelve, he would have been 'including' her....

You are mistaken to try and relate this to cultural norms at other places and times. These things do not occur in vacuums, and are not settled by appeal to some mythical, and usually highly romanticized standard. What counts is whether a thing is far out of the normal range in its own time and place, such that the person subjected to it will have a background of experience greatly different from those he or she encounters in life.

[Richard Steele]

22. That's EXACTLY what it was. nm

[Hardrada]

24. That's true. We don't, for instance, think dog meat is a delicacy

and would be thought odd breeding puppies for culinary purposes. Just one example, I am sure, of many. In short, as someone said, one man's Mede is another man's Persian.

[Skittles]

25. well let me spell it out for you

a guy wacking off in front of his girlfriend's pre-teenage daughter is SICK, SICK, SICK

[Missy Vixen]

20. I feel so badly for this little girl

This is not "educational". This is nothing more than exhibitionism, and I also believe it's child abuse.

I am very worried about the young lady spending one more minute in the home with the boyfriend. He needs help. What exactly did he think he was "teaching" her by his behavior?

Julie

[MonkeyFunk]

23. OK...

I'll weigh in - I've not gotten involved in this debate before.

Children are not inherently harmed by seeing people have sex. Children around the world, for the entire history of human development, have been exposed to sex. Privacy is not, nor has it ever been, an option for the vast majority of people.

The damage comes from living in a society where viewing sex is seen as something horrible. And given that, it was ludicrously inappropriate for this couple to do what they did. But any damage this girl incurs will be the result of our societal expectations more than the actual event.

[Missy Vixen]

27. I can't agree with this

>But any damage this girl incurs will be the result of our societal expectations more than the actual event.<

If viewing explicit sexual activity IRL was not harmful, why are there consent laws in place? I realize that you may disagree with my argument. A nine-year-old is not emotionally equipped enough to deal with what is essentially an adult relationship. It's not just the viewing of the act itself. It's the fact that having sex is not a reality for a nine-year-old -- at least it shouldn't be.

IMHO, YMMV.
Julie

[northzax]

28. but this is a recent phenomenon

don't you think? how do you think people who lived in one room houses had more than one child?

to me the line really comes from a: the lack of other education about it and b: masturbation in front of the child. that seem indefensible to me.

[Missy Vixen]

29. I still maintain it's wrong

>how do you think people who lived in one room houses had more than one child?<

Were the other children of the union in question encouraged and/or commanded to watch the activity between their parents? Was some effort made by those parents to restrict amorous activity to when the other children were sleeping, away from the home, or adults were in a different location at the time? Who knows? Does it matter what happens in other societies in the first place? We're talking about ours. In this society, it is considered taboo at the least to have sex in full view of pre-pubescent children, and to force those children to observe.

How is it going to benefit a nine-year-old female child to watch a grown man masturbate while watching pornography?

Julie

[northzax]

36. didn't I say

that the masturbation was way out of line and into the realm of abuse? I think I may have.

[yurbud]

31. actually, I think as a species we do tend to be private about it

[Little Wing]

30. I have a suspicion that 'dad' was trying to get 'mom' to suggest that 'dad' demonstres ON 'kid'

instead of 'mom' - perhaps even get her 'technique' up to snuff.

Abuse.

[yurbud]

32. this is probably the best way to teach abstinence--you know these people probably aint pretty

[yurbud]

33. at that age, totally apart from morals, don't you think sex was icky if you heard how it was done?

or even saw kissing in movies?

[yurbud]

34. I hope these parents demonstrate why you shouldn't sit on a hot stove naked

[KenHodson]

35. Ugh.