What if someone doesn't get a heart?

[Raven]

Does anybody remember when you used to pass out valentine cards at school and everyone always kept count of who got the most. And there was always someone who didn't get any? I hope that doesn't happen here. Can you give a heart to yourself? Sorry if this has already been discussed!

[grace0418]

1. That's exactly what happens and why I kinda hate these

sorts of things.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. Me too.

I just wait until its over lol.

[raccoon]

17. Ditto. nt

[emmajane67]

29. Yeah, it kind of reinforces the cliques and little

popularity contests that seem to have reached a rather overwhelming level lately.

[Courtesy Flush]

49. That was my first impression. Popularity points!

[mainegreen]

2. I've been venturing outside of Lounge to give out my hearts.

Some great posters in other less traveled forums, that normally don't get hearts, but I think deserve them due to the sheer quantity of informative and provoking posts they make (and that I enjoy all year).

And yes you can give yourself a heart (or so it appears, I have not tested it).

[malta blue]

3. Can we set up a "heartless" group?

[HoneyBee]

8. I can be the founding member. I am "heartless"

eeeek!

[malta blue]

9. eeek

Not that heartless I hope.
:hug:

I can't afford any hearts this time around - but hugs are free!

[HoneyBee]

10. Thanks. My lack of hearts is no indication of my heartlessness or lack thereof IRL

But, I will take the hug and see you one. :hug::hug:

[youthere]

11. Me too! If I only had a heart. n/t

[HoneyBee]

16. Hey, someone gave me one!! I feel so.... validated!!!

Thanks!!

:hug:

[Kajsa]

25. We have something very close to it.

Elrond started this on Feb. 1st.
We're on our third thread and still
going strong.

;-)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=6163707&mesg_id=6163707


He needs to start a new thread.

:hi:

[Control-Z]

41. Kajsa

Losers don't usually get more than one pity heart. You had better be careful. Things could get hostile, you being one of the leaders of the losers club and all.:rofl:

:hi: How ya been?

[Kajsa]

63. LOL! I'm doing OK, dancingAlone.

My back is starting to hurt again, so I'm on the computer
in shorter increments, now.

I wish I had a boatload of money to donate so
everyone could get one.

Unfortunately I don't.

I have to admit it, though.
It's really nice to get hearts.
My secret admirers are very appreciated.


Shh-- don't tell anyone!

:hide:

[NewJeffCT]

4. I was one of those who got the least

I was painfully shy when I was young - the only valentine i'd get was probably from a teacher who took sympathy on me.

[NashVegas]

5. They Die Lonely

The last time there were hearts, at one point a very generous person started a thread for the heartless to announce themselves - and most, if not all, were indeed hearted.

[Little Wing]

6. Well I'd hope that nobody cries themselves to sleep over the number of hearts

they're getting on the Internet. It's pretty impossible, at least in the lounge, to go without one as eventually a good number of DUers will get drunk and generous next weekend and throw them at people.

[Midlodemocrat]

14. LOL. Yup. That about sums it up.

[Justpat]

7. I give them out to people who might not have one yet.

I'm not too crazy about this whole heart thing. I was a shy,
neurotic kid and remember what it was like to be the one
with no friends on days like these.

[catmandu57]

12. I think you can give yourself one

I'm not going to go sit in the corner and cry if I don't get any. Hi Raven, good to see you again I saw your thread last night, but couldn't answer :hi:

[pitohui]

22. who would give themselves one? that's fucking pathetic

i mean shoot me now! you'd have to be sybil herself not to know where it came from!

[Kajsa]

30. Hey-hey-hey now!

There's nothing wrong with giving
yourself a heart!

I buy myself beautiful flowers every Valentine's
Day. My son forgets and my SO usually buys
me a potted plant that is on life support.

I know he means well, but I know I'm going to
have nice flowers if I buy them myself.

There's nothing wrong with that!

Ever heard of the adage,

" you can't love anyone until you love yourself, first"?

[AllegroRondo]

13. They get voted off the island.

[Q3JR4]

80. Lol.

:rofl:

[pitohui]

18. yeah someone gave me a heart last year for losing 3 people in katrina

i mean, okay, the thought is the thought, i guess, but in another sense, christ how fucking creepy can you get?

i don't want a fucking heart, i don't want anyone's fucking pity

i want the storm not to have happened, and as far as being a high functioning autistic i've already know that my whole life, i don't need my nose rubbed in that i'm different

the hearts game is extremely ugly and hurtful -- and it's meant to be -- the intent is to make people feel excluded who do not tow the line and get elected queen of homecoming

i don't know why the moderators/organizers want to play such hurtful games but if that's what makes them feel powerful, they'll never get another dime from me

there are many good things and good people about the site, but the constant high school game playing is so ugly and so persistent -- and so hard to understand from people who say they're progressive

[Midlodemocrat]

21. Seriously? It's the internet for crying out loud.

The number of hearts I get/give on an anonymous board doesn't mean anything IRL.

Don't read so much into it.

[pitohui]

23. seriously, the person told me the reason they gave me the hearts

they were trying to be nice, but there was nothing to read into it, they told me why

if that doesn't make a person feel icky and dirty, what does?

i don't want people to die so i can be liked, who would if they weren't completely insane?

[hfojvt]

54. the people who enjoy it, enjoyed it

Plus it gave people something for their donation, and thus was an effective fund-raiser.

But, yeah, it's a little bit like the Charlie Brown quote "I already know nobody likes me, why do they have to have a Valentine's day to rub it in?"

It's meant to make people feel excluded? Why would they wanna do that? They can tombstone people any time they want if they are concerned about people not "toeing the line". If it encourages a little more civility though, then that is not a bad thing either IMO.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

64. The thought is the thought...

Leave it at that.

As a high-functioning autistic, I'm sure you've had plenty of experience with your intent being misinterpreted...with your words being considered unkind, and maybe even cruel.

Enjoy your hearts, and the fact that someone has chosen to give them to you...for whatever reason. If you don't like the reason, chalk it up to the fact that sometimes people, all people are cloddish on occasion. :hi:

[SammyWinstonJack]

75. And yet you have three this time around.

:shrug: Someone must have thought enough of you too buy you a heart. Why rain on his/her parade?

[qnr]

19. Well, some of us take the lack as a badge of honor. However, I think it

sucks that people that donate 12 times per year don't get any credit if they want to give any.

[durrrty libby]

20. I think this is a fun and great way to raise funds for DU.

I gave out a bunch while watching the Grammy Awards

My rule this year was to give them to whiny crybabies yapping about

people posting without "spoiler alert"

They didn't deserve the hearts, but that was the fun of it

Anyway I'm all out of hearts right now, but I guarantee

someone will come along and pass out some more.


In the meantime :toast: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[pitohui]

24. cruelty is not fun

picking and choosing who is deserving is not fun for people who don't have a sense of the cruel

i'll give to this "deserving" beggar, but i won't give to that beggar, he smells bad

[durrrty libby]

26. Some people never have fun and that is their problem

Deserving beggars that don't smell bad?

Seek help. I mean that in the nicest non-smelly way.

[Midlodemocrat]

31. You're reading WAY too much into this.

It's an anonymous board fer cryin' out loud. Who cares who gets or gives hearts? Seriously. Is it going to make or break someone not to get a heart?

It's a fundraiser. Period. If someone thinks it's cruel, that is pretty fucked up.

[dogday]

38. You got a heart regardless. Everyone

is deserving, and I bet anyone who really wants one will get one... I hope you get more hearts too... Here's to you :toast: :hi: :thumbsup:

[NashVegas]

39. You Know, We're Really Not In High School Anymore

Most of the people we spread our hearts to, we've never met offline and probably never will.

For some of us, giving that heart is a fun way to (anonymously) say, 'hey, I think you're cool,' or trying to give someone a lift.

I waited until the Hearts drive to donate - because I have a very good sense of cruel - and wish to do the opposite. It's just how I get my kicks, I guess.

[Katherine Brengle]

60. It's a tiny computer animated heart...

I read your other posts about this, and I understand that you felt the gesture did not help you the last time when that person gave you the hearts and told you why, but I find it very unlikely that s/he was trying to be hurtful or minimize what you had been through. Maybe the thought of possibly bringing a smile to your face for a split second was their motivation. Maybe, since this is the internet and impersonal by its very nature, they were just doing what little they could to try to brighten your day.

But if you want to read that as cruelty, it's your right to do so. It's just probably also your loss...

:(

[Left Is Write]

33. "Whiny crybabies yapping about... spoiler alert."

Why are you so bent out of shape about extending a common courtesy to those who do not live on the east coast?

[durrrty libby]

35. Personally I am not" bent out of shape "and I don't "spoil"

And I gave out a bunch of hearts


Sorry you don't "get it"

[Left Is Write]

68. Seriously, no, I don't "get" why you would call people who don't like spoilers

"whiny crybabies."

How many hearts you give out doesn't have anything to do with it.

[Patiod]

27. I actually love busting someone's figurative cherry

Of my 5 heart donations, 3 were to people who didn't have any hearts! Much more fun to give someone's first heart then it is to give #8.

I'm sure (based on posts on other issues) that one of them HATES the whole idea, but too bad, they got one anyway.

And it's certainly for a good cause -- this is the easiest, most functional board that I post on, and I'm happy to pay for that ease of use!

[dogday]

28. Doesn't mean a thing

Sure give yourself a heart or two, you are worth it... What does it matter, it is all good...

[JVS]

32. is there a way to transfer our hearts?

[derby378]

34. There's 100,000+ people on DU; just remember...

...even if you don't get a heart on DU, it doesn't mean that nobody on DU loves you. :hi:

[William Bloode]

36. Why should anyone give a shit?

It's a lame ass popularity driven scheme. In the end i do approve though. I'm sure D.U. can use the money to stay online, so i can continue to be a bitch.

[Oeditpus Rex]

52. The fact remains

that some do "give a shit," and I don't think they should be slammed for that.

[William Bloode]

69. Not sure what yer gettin' at.

Never slammed anyone, it's all in your mind. I'm just saying why worry about a damn heart? Deciding what i wanted for supper is worth much more deliberation.

[Oeditpus Rex]

71. I didn't say you did

But there have been slams. And that's not "all in my mind."

[William Bloode]

76. Your words say otherwise.

If not then why direct this comment to me--->

The fact remains
that some do "give a shit," and I don't think they should be slammed for that.

If you did not have such thought you would not have posted what you did. maybe you should comment then on the ones you were talking about, if you were not referring to me. Because if it's me, then yes it's all in your mind.

[Oeditpus Rex]

78. Okay

Seeya. :hi:

[William Bloode]

79. On 2nd thought.

Maybe i read to much into it, or was a bit too pointed or crass. Perhaps an apology is in order.

Please forgive my crass behavior, and do have a wonderful evening.

[Oeditpus Rex]

82. Spoken like a gentleman and a progressive

and appreciated. :toast:

[LaraMN]

37. Then they have to go visit the Wizard.

They will probably have to wait in line behind Dubya, too, as he's still waiting for his courage and brains.

[skygazer]

40. They explode?

My personal opinion is that if someone gets so worked up over getting or not getting a pixeled heart on an anonymous message board they should immediately log off and get professional help.

This is NOT school. We are not a bunch of 3rd graders sitting in a classroom together day after day. We are (I assume) a bunch of rational adults sitting behind keyboards all over the world. If you don't have someone in your real life who gives you some kind of Valentine (if that sort of thing appeals to you) that's the time to get upset. Not online.

Oh, wait - I just remembered GD - scratch that "rational" bit. :eyes:

[jus_the_facts]

42. Even back in the 70's at my school you had to give everyone in your class a valentine...

...dems was da rulz...that way nobody felt left out or shunned. :)

Raven...great to see you back 'round here again...you were missed!! :hi: :loveya: :hug:

[Roon]

45. When I was in grade school

there was actually this girl who used to send out hate valentines.

[jus_the_facts]

47. Yikes...never crossed my mind to do such a thing as that....

...goes completely against the whole concept. :(

[texanwitch]

43. I would hate to see someone not receive at least one heart.

The money goes to DU, and the person receiving the heart knows that they have not be forgotten.

Thanks to whoever gave me my hearts.

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. I posted about this last year...

...and was called a liar by a dear friend. :sarcasm:

[gemdem]

46. Had I more money and time...

I could have brightened more days.

My heart came only because I donated to the fund drive.

It's an unconditional thing for me. There's no quid pro quo. I'm happy to have made someone's day.

So, for all the "heartless" gathered here, know that you are thought of, and would that I could, I'd give you a heart.

:-)

[hfojvt]

48. no I do not

I think our school's rule was that everyone had to give a valentine to everyone else. That's how I remember it, giving 30 valentines and getting 30 valentines. Now I just get one from my mom, if not from William Pitt's mom. It's so pathetic and sad.

[Blue_In_AK]

50. If you donate, you'll get a heart from Skinner. n/t

[Katherine Brengle]

51. I don't think I got any last time and it was no biggie.

:shrug:

[HughBeaumont]

53. I get no hearts, no response, threadkiller extraordinaire, etc, etc,

No love here. And I'm going on 5000 posts.

It begs the question - what the hell does an alien have to do to get NOTICED at this place? What constitutes a "splash"? Why are some individuals at the cool table and others generate nothing more than a "meh" reaction? Why am I just not "extraordinary" enough?

On edit: maybe complain a lot. Thanks, whoever!

[Madspirit]

55. They should have

They should have started it by immediately giving all members one heart. That way no one would feel excluded, if they didn't get any others.

Lee

[Midlodemocrat]

56. I think all monthly donors got one right out of the shoot.

Maybe all donors? Not sure.

[Madspirit]

57. Nope

I am a monthly donor and I started with none. <g> I was allowed five to give out.

Lee

[Midlodemocrat]

58. Hmm. I don't know then.

I know when I got online this morning, got the email from Skinner and it seemed at the same time got a heart, so I guess I was just assuming.

[Madspirit]

59. You're well loved!

...and for good reason. You're a thoughtful, kind and considerate poster.
Lee

[Midlodemocrat]

66. How sweet of you to say that!

That means more to me than a thousand hearts!!!

:loveya:

[Madspirit]

67. You're welcome

I actually seek out your posts...and I don't mean in a creepy stalker way...<g>

I like what you say.
Lee

[GoddessOfGuinness]

61. I make a point of seeking heartless people out.

Everybody needs a heart! :hug:

[Dervill Crow]

62. I probably won't get any.

Life goes on. It puts me in mind of my first birthday after my mom died and the only card I got was from my chiropractor. None from my husband, kids, in-laws, or brother. If I can survive that, I can survive being overlooked by an online commnity. I did learn that I needed to try to expand my circle of friends.

[Th1onein]

73. You already have THREE! You crazy nut!

Ha!

[Dervill Crow]

83. Whoa! Where'd those come from?!

:shrug:

Whoops.

[Control-Z]

77. Oh, Blue in Portland

That made me sad to read but I had to laugh a little too. I didn't even get my standard computer generated auto insurance BD card on my last birthday. I did however get an e-card from an appliance forum I had joined looking for help with my faulty oven. The last activity on that forum had been months prior to the time I signed on looking for help. Gawd, I felt like a loser.

My older daughter and my sister did come through later that day, though, both sending me beautiful flowers but I too realized maybe I needed to expand my circle of friends. More importantly, I realized I needed to let people KNOW it was my birthday. My littlest came home from school that day and burst into tears upon seeing the flowers realizing she had forgotten me. Nothing could console her and nothing could have made me feel worse than knowing I had caused her such pain by keeping it from her. It had been my job to let her know it was my birthday and to help her find ways to celebrate the day with me. And I dropped the ball.

My son was just as shocked when he came home from school that day. He is still clueless at age 15. Their dad - well, shit, he's a guy and not one of the better ones. So what was I thinking?

Anyway, my upcoming birthday is going to be a big one (number wise) so I'm going to give myself a party this year, by golly. I figure it will make us all happy on my special day. I may even wrap myself a present or two. (I always pick out the nicest gifts.):)

[Dervill Crow]

85. Oh, I know it's more funny than sad.

The Year of the Forgotten Birthday has become a family joke. It was such a shock to everyone concerned when Mom (me!) turned into a petulant baby. Giving yourself a party is a lovely idea. :party:

[Book Lover]

65. I am usually the bitter one, but on this I have to say lighten up!

These hearts will be gone in a week or so anyway. I am no longer in grade school: if someone is more popular than me and gets more hearts, I say whatever. I'm #1 in my own book anyway!!

[Oeditpus Rex]

70. Then they can be

vice president of the United States.

[ikojo]

72. I was VERY pleasantly surprised last year

when I got not one but two hearts...one never knows what kind of impression one makes.

I was one of those kids who got valentines only because the teacher would make the students give a card to everyone.

[mentalsolstice]

74. Here's the way I see it!

If I see someone with a low number of hearts, I figure they're either an infrequent poster or they're a newbie like me (or they're a total asshat, and then I can't feel too sorry for them). I was so excited to see that I have one as of this morning (btw, I had my teeth cleaned today, so it's safe to send more, no green fuzzies here)!

Now if can just get paypal to work, I'd give some back, as I have a lot of honeys here!

[Q3JR4]

81. Wait,

DU's giving out hearts?

That's what I get for taking a break.

Ah well. :shrug:

[fishnfla]

84. I think grovelbot gives one to everybody

shameless lil' tramp

Edit, well almost everybody.

Towards the end of the campaign.

No really

[Skittles]

86. OMG RAVEN!!!

WHERE YOU BEEN DAHLING???? :hi: