It's NOT "babysitting"

[Katherine Brengle]

Vent. I have another forum I spend a bit of time on that is specific to a certain hobby of mine. It's a very mixed bag, but there are a lot of conservative-types (doesn't usually matter bc we don't talk about that kind of stuff).

Anyway, I have lost count of the number of times some woman comes in talking about she doesn't have time to do something bc her husband "can't" watch the kids, or raving bc "DH babysat last night so I could..." and other crap like this.

For those who do not know this -- IT'S NOT BABYSITTING IF YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOUR OWN DAMN CHILDREN.

I went on a quick shopping trip to my local store that caters to this particular hobby, and in a chat with the owner, she asked me where my daughter was. I told her that my daughter was at home, with my husband. Her words - "And he was okay with that?"

Are people serious with this crap???

[Gormy Cuss]

1. There's one subtle way to get back at that.

Drop in lines about how you had to babysit so that DH could go the store, etc.
Heads will spin.

[Katherine Brengle]

5. Oooooooooh, I'm going to start saying that ALL the TIME! Thx lol. nt

[mrdemocrat78]

2. breathe deep

count to 10 really really slowly... It's all going to be ok. Here, have a :beer:

[skygazer]

3. One of my pet peeves

I have been a mother for 26 years and have never babysat my own kids. And no one has ever referred to what I do as babysitting.

It's called "parenting." :banghead:

[Katherine Brengle]

6. Right? It's "babysitting" if my MIL is watching her, or a friend, not her FATHER.

Ugh.

[hfojvt]

4. dang, usually I have to remind other guys of that

I first heard it in 1986 when my boss was complaining that he had to babysit that night. I asked 'whose kids'. He said 'mine'. I could not believe it. Absolutely could not believe it. "How can you call that babysitting?" I sputtered. "Those are YOUR kids!!"

Another thing that gets to me is when guys say "My girlfriend ..." when they are talking about somebody who they have lived with for four years and with whom they have a couple of kids. "Girlfriend" they say, like they have been dating a couple of weeks. :crazy:

[Katherine Brengle]

7. Ew...

Yeah, there needs to be a better term for that kind of relationship... either than or people should just get married lol.

[Chan790]

15. What term would you prefer?

I'm not being smart-alecky. I really have no intention of marrying. I might commit for life, but I'll never marry. I find the institution to be foul and saccharine-esque, certainly nothing I want any part of.

"Partner" sounds like a legal arrangement, not a life-long pairing.
"Girlfriend" is flippant and minimizing, I guess.

[Katherine Brengle]

16. True... I don't know honestly. Significant other is a mouthful, partner

works but does sound sort of business-y... I've always been fond of "other half" which is both charming and ambiguous lol.

[Courtesy Flush]

24. Even when you don't live together

When we got engaged, we weren't living together, but "girlfriend" didn't seem adequate anymore. At least we could move on to a more committal "fiancee" after that point. "Significant other" really doesn't work.

That was so many years ago, I forget about those issues.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Thank you.

That bothers me too. It's called parenting, people. For the love of all that is holy, it's only babysitting if someone not the mom or dad is watching the kids.
Duckie

[Katherine Brengle]

10. No problem lol.

[Left Is Write]

9. Thank you. And for good measure, thank you again!

That is also a peeve of mine, and a peeve of Mr. LIW's also. He hates it when people suggest he is "babysitting" his own children.

[Katherine Brengle]

11. Good for him!

I just can't believe some people... After I posted this I remembered a totally different conversation from yet another message board where a woman said she never had time to go the gym bc it was so hard bringing the baby with her...

I'm like - unless your baby doesn't have a father (in which case you gotta do what you gotta do), or unless said father is seriously working 18 hours a day every day, everyone should have time to go the gym (or wherever) at least a few times a week without having to drag a baby along.

My MIL won't let us drop DD off over there unless she is home - she honestly thinks my FIL can't handle it. Never mind that he has 7 CHILDREN (one from a previous marriage, my MIL's 2 sons from her previous marriage, and 4 girls they adopted together) - how does she think their kids survive when she isn't home???

Okay, calming down lol.

[SeattleGirl]

12. That definitely gets under my skin, too.

One PARENTS one's child(ren); one doesn't BABYSIT them! :banghead:

[AlCzervik]

13. "and he was ok with that?" sheesh.

[mopinko]

14. the best dad i know says this. it drives me batty. but

he has learned to be careful to not say it around me. i always tell him to sit lightly and get up regularly so the baby can breathe.

[Katherine Brengle]

17. Why doesn't he just stop saying it?

I understand if no one ever tells someone something is stupid they may not get there on their own, but if he KNOWS... it would seriously drive me insane.

"Sit lightly" lol - I like that.

[mopinko]

18. he is a great guy with few flaws

especially when it actually comes to parenting. he helped raise his nephew, and finally has his own baby. he is just silly about him.

[Katherine Brengle]

20. Sounds like a good man :D

But next time he says that, give him a swift kick in the rear for me lol.

[mopinko]

23. i will

we are going to do a fix and flip house deal soon. i'm sure the subject will come up. :evilgrin:

[Nicole]

19. That annoys me too.

The next time a woman tells you that her husband babysat their kids, ask her how much she paid him per hour.

[Katherine Brengle]

21. I like that one too lol. What's the going rate these days? :D

[bleedingheart]

22. I had a friend whose husband would not watch his own kids

his excuse was that he was afraid of babies...etc

She never went anywhere until her youngest was in elementary school. When we went to dinner at her house and my hubby talked about making breakfast and how he and the kids had a blast playing some game while I was out ..she was in total disbelief and her husband told Mr. B to stop it cuz he was going to get into trouble...

There are men out there that won't watch their kids but luckily it isn't many.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

25. I used to tutor a group of Somali women who were all

members of the same extended family. When I had taken them as far as I could as a non-professional ESL instructor, I suggested that they sign up for the classes that were given at a high school only three blocks away.

The family patriarch vetoed the idea. After all, what about all the young children? Who would take care of them if their mothers were at English class?

There were six adult men living in the house, two of whom were the fathers of some of the children. (The husband of the youngest woman was still stuck in a refugee camp in Kenya.)

I bit my tongue, not wanting to fight centuries of Somali culture on my own. Eventually, I found a student who was about to graduate from Portland State University's ESL teacher training program and needed to do a practicum.

However, a few months later, I met one of the men on the bus, and he caught me up on what was happening with the family. The husband of the youngest woman had finally arrived from Kenya, and he had decreed that his wife should take English classes and that he could take care of the children.

[WhollyHeretic]

26. My son lives with me half the time but I always have people say

"oh, I see you're babysitting today" :mad: Pisses me off

It's the same attitude that causes things like some teachers totally ignoring me at parent teacher conferences.