Let's give GoPsUx a bit of travel advice before he leaves for Mexico.

[Writer]

STAY AWAY FROM THE DONKEY SHOW, A'RIGHT?

[Blue-Jay]

1. Dare a policeman to arrest you.

[Blue-Jay]

15. "Is that a real gun? Betcha can't shoot me!"

[slj0101]

2. After checking in, be sure to drink plenty of tap water.

Need to keep your fluids up in that hot tropical sun, you know.

[LeftyMom]

3. Drink lots of tap water.

:hurts:

[ornotna]

Drink lots of water n/t

[Rhythm]

4. Beer is spelled "cerveza"... learn it... live it...

don't drink the water, dahling...

[begin_within]

5. Bring tons of extra cash... every time you turn around, the cops ding you for $40.

Just for getting in your car from the wrong side... or for not coming to a full, complete stationary stop at a stop sign... or for having "too many fireworks" on the beach... or just for looking like an American... if you look like an American you are a certain target for the cops... and it's always $40, no matter what, where or who. Expect at least one of these encounters each day.

[SPKrazy]

6. Look For Dudes Selling Pot

and be sure to buy a lot

and smoke it on the street

:rofl:

[LeftyMom]

7. Everybody understands English if you speeeek sloooooooowly and with condecension.

:D

[GirlinContempt]

16. And, get progressively louder.

The more you repeat yourself, the better.

[Kali]

21. and loud -

volume helps so much with comprehension

[MonkeyFunk]

8. They've got the BEST

Taco Bells there. Don't miss 'em.

[KitchenWitch]

9. Two sentences that are imperative to know

Uno mas cerveza, por favor.

Donde esta el bano? (banio)

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Geez, Writer

You just pissed on his entire reason for going. x(

[Writer]

11. I know. It's a futile attempt to reach out to him.

He'll be disgusted, but he won't be able to look away! :P

[Oeditpus Rex]

14. You said the same thing

when he went to see the Hindenburg land in New Jersey. :shrug:

[Writer]

17. Well this is a bit more explosive.

Like watching a well-tuned piston inside a giant combustion engine. The mechanics are breathtaking... ;)

[Rhythm]

18. kinda like the ones in "Titanic"?!

*shudders*

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. Can you give me some engine specifications?

The bore and stroke, the duration at top dead center and which crankshaft journal has the thrust bearing?

[Writer]

23. Bore:

About 7 years-old.

Stroke: Estimated at 22 inches.

Duration at top dead center: 2.2 seconds

Crankshaft journal with thrust bearing: the MIDDLE one

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

25. Hmmm

Sounds like a '37 Hudson Terraplane.

[Writer]

26. Yeah, and it makes a similar noise...

Heeeeee-HAW!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-HAW!

(sputter)

[Oeditpus Rex]

28. Sounds like you need to

surface the decks and the heads.



Otherwise, you're lookin' at the Terraplane Zot. :scared:

[Writer]

29. They have someone who can surface the head...

and the decks if need be and apply plenty of lubrication afterward. Everything runs much, much smoother. Then it becomes a well-oiled pumping machine.

[Oeditpus Rex]

31. Then whadya need me for?

:shrug:

[Writer]

32. Yeah, we need you to keep a close eye on the entire mechanism...

and make sure that it works to completion, k? :hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

33. Aw

That's all I ever get to do. x(

[Writer]

34. Yeah, if you don't mind...

keep a very close eye on it, especially where the valve enters the valve shaft, k? :hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

35. Why?

Think you got worn guides?



We could do a set of bronze inserts...

[Writer]

36. It is a 7 year-old piston, and it's been driven hard for quite a while...

so there is a chance we may need the bronze inserts. It might get a little tight, though, so we'll need a little extra valve grease.

[Oeditpus Rex]

38. I think I'd better duck out of this

See, I'm... not a qualified internal combustion engine therapist. :blush:

[Writer]

39. Oh... well all you need to do is massage the valve a bit so it stays flush with the valve shaft...

:shrug:

But if you want, I have a female assistant who'll gladly do that for you, too.

[Oeditpus Rex]

41. Nah, it's okay

I got visual aids.

[philosophie_en_rose]

12. Be nice. Export items for street pharmacists.

But do not forget to declare these items at the border.

You wouldn't want to break the law.

[otherlander]

13. Join a rebel army!

It'll be fun! :bounce:

[jobycom]

20. Speak loudly so everyone in the room will know you are American.

That's one of the things they find charming about us.

[Kali]

22. be sure to grab whatever it is for that "special price, just for you"

And no you don't look at all stupid in your boxers and that purple sombrero.

[philosophie_en_rose]

24. Get really drunk and shout: "¡George Bush es el presidente del mundo!"

¡George Bush es el mejor presidente siempre! ¡Vete a la mierda! ¡América por siempre!


That will make you extra popular.

[Elidor]

27. Your cab driver can get you anything you want

And several things you don't.

[Ghost in the Machine]

30. OMG!! *THAT* was the first thought in my head after reading the subject

... without even opening the thread!

Mine was: "Stay AWAY from the donkey shows. They are NOT fun, sexy, exciting or anything else except disgusting".

Then of course:

Don't Drink The Water!

:hi:

Ghost

[leftofthedial]

37. Drink lots of local water

and leave the condoms at home

[UrbScotty]

40. Remember: Them illegals live down there. Stay away from 'em and vote Tancredo!

:eyes:

[Guava Jelly]

42. thanks guys

:loveya:
I'm gonna take part in a live donkey act while chugging gallons of water.
Then I am going to buy as much pot as i can while walking up to a cop and giving him a wedgie.
I will use ethnic slurs against hispanics while wearing a George bush is god T-shirt.
My vacation should rock!
you guys really do have my back hugh

:7

[Writer]

43. Your knife would say "Writer" on the blade, no doubt.

I have been such a bad influence on you, babycakes... or have you been a bad influence on me? Or... oh, whatever. When you do all of the above when you're down there, make sure to take pictures, k?

:hi:

[Guava Jelly]

44. I will

(of topless chicks) :hide:
:woohoo:

[Writer]

45. LOLOL

Somehow I can see that in full color. Oh dear... ;)

[PVnRT]

46. That thing about the water is an urban legend

Look up the Spanish word for "butterfly" and call all the men you meet that. It's one of those male-bonding things.

[RebelOne]

47. Don't buy any silver unless it has a government stamp.