If you died alone in your apartment with the t.v. on, would it take a year

[crim son]

for your death to be discovered? :scared: What kind of world do we live in where this can happen?

[auntAgonist]

1. It's a really sad commentary

on just how alone some people are isn't it?

I read that thread and felt a real sense of shame for all of the things and people we neglect in our day to day lives.

I vow to call my Dad more often. He's about 6.5 hours from here, but only a phone call away and at 83, I really should keep in better contact.

:hug:

aA

[Midlodemocrat]

3. That thread is heartbreaking.

I remember when my Nana and Grandpa were alive, they lived in a senior citizen apartment complex.

There was a woman there named Ethel who had no family. She was so alone. She and my Nana became friends and we ended up having her to our house and my aunt's for the holidays.

I can't imagine how painful that must be, to be that alone.

[crim son]

Bringing these people to your home at the holidays is a wonderful idea.

I did it this year, at Christmas and my family benefitted from the inclusion of a new person in the festivities.

[alarimer]

40. It scare me, because that will more than likely be me when I am old

Until I retire, at least work will miss me if I fail to show up. I will likely never marry or have kids at this point so it could well be me. I am not social at all and I can't see that changing.

[crim son]

5. Part of the responsibility was the gentleman's. We must

reach out to people ourselves or risk going unnoticed, unremarked. It made me think about my grandmother who I rarely call because of my phone phobia. She's ninety-seven and was placed in an assisted living establishment this past spring, after living in the same house for over seventy-five years. I need to call her more often.

:hug:

[fizzgig]

2. i'd be found within a day or two

my dad lives in town and would worry if he didn't hear from me for a day or two. also, if i didn't show up to work someone would come to check on me

it is sad, though, that someone could go unnoticed for a year

[crim son]

7. I guess if the old guy didn't work and perhaps wasn't ambulatory

it can be explained. I guess.

[graywarrior]

4. First of all, I'd be at my computer and Mr Gray would just leave me there

He thinks I died ever since I signed onto DU anyhow.

[crim son]

8. No joke.

Since I got my laptop my kids joke about my becoming fused to my old velvet chaise. I'm always here, always.

[graywarrior]

11. This is what we have become. Married to the internet.

[crim son]

15. At least the internet won't mess with my head, unless I let it.

And once I become employed I'll have much less time to DU.

[graywarrior]

19. Yes, my job saved my head from DOOM.

I cannot be alone with myself. I end up thinking of ways to kill me or someone else.

[crim son]

21. Maybe you need to learn to knit.

hehe.

[graywarrior]

23. Needles are too sharp.

Bwahahahahahaha. Seriously...I am dangerous.

[idgiehkt]

6. by the time I am that age, probably

I just hope all my pets are inside so they can live off of my remains until the smell starts getting to my neighbors.

[crim son]

10. Seventy isn't old.

You and I are going to be rollerblading in Carmel, CA when we're seventy. Now at ninety-five, we make sure somebody pops in daily to check on us.

[idgiehkt]

12. Sounds good to me, my dear.

I can see rollerblading at 70. Or at any age with you. :hi:

[crim son]

16. Actually, I see you rollerblading, towing the old woman (me)

behind you in a makeshift cart. :hi:

[idgiehkt]

20. I could get a motorcycle and you could ride in the side car.

We'd be the baddest grannies the west has ever seen. :rofl:

[crim son]

22. Oh, wouldn't we?

I can picture it! Idg, I am SO going to be living the good life. I refuse to accept anything else.

[idgiehkt]

24. my grandmother's life began

*brace yourself because this might be offensive*

the day her hubby passed away. He was uber controlling and wouldn't let her choose anything, ever, from furniture to wallpaper to shower curtains. He filled her entire yard up with tons and tons of junk he bought at yardsales, so that it looked like Sanford and son's junkyard. Right after he died she went out and bought frilly little drapes and and throws and but wallpaper up with roses and stuff like that on it. Had the whole house painted and rearranged the way she wanted it. Got rid of all the junk in the yard. It's sad she lived the way she did for 40 years.

[crim son]

28. One of my grandmothers has had the same experience.

I loved my Grampa but he was clinically depressed and a control freak. She saw him through an Alzheimer's like illness and when he died she grieved for a year. But now she's a changed woman. Even her voice, which was always meek and sweet, has gained strength and she suddenly has opinions! Does she ever.

[idgiehkt]

48. so sad

My granny never even learned to drive a car. And I'm sure it was because he wore her down. She would have loved to drive, she was actually a very fearless woman. But she always had to be taken everywhere, which I'm sure she really hated. :(

[SOteric]

9. No. Nowhere close to a year.

Even if I didn't have an attentive sweetheart, a family that actually likes me, friends and a job that would miss me, neighbours who're waiting to abscond with my overly cute kitty - my landlord would be looking for the rent. My creditors would be coming to the door and someone from a clinic I visit regularly would want to know if I had any difficulties on my new meds.

I have a hard time even conceptualising a world where a person can be that invisible. It shocks me a bit.

[crim son]

13. It shocks me too.

I was wondering about rent or at least heating/cooling bills. Odd.

[Katherine Brengle]

26. Rent, yep.

If nothing else.

I guess if you owned your home and had direct deposit of a pension/annuity/SS AND all of your bills on direct pay... it's insane.

[NewWaveChick1981]

14. My mom calls me at least twice a week, so she'd start to wonder.

That is, if she were still around at that time. :yoiks:

There was a case like that a few years ago in the town where I live now. An elderly lady who was a recluse was found in her house two years after she died. She lived in a house right on the main drag, and office workers in a building within a stone's throw of her back window kept hearing her little dog barking incessantly for about a month, then it stopped. It turns out the poor old lady had died, and her mutt was inside with her. The poor little dog starved to death. Nobody checked on her, and the mail kept piling up. Her power was turned off for nonpayment. She and her dog were only found after a tax collector actually knocked on her door because they were about to seize her house for nonpayment of taxes. There were piles and piles and piles of mail on the front porch, in the mailbox, and everywhere. The saddest thing was that if anyone had bothered to look in the window, they would have seen her.

I fault the postal worker for not paying attention to stuff like that. To continue to deliver the mail when it is obviously not being picked up is criminal. There is a local ordinance now, passed because of this case, that states all service workers within the city must investigate anything unusual like that. If the letter carrier had taken time to knock on the door or to look in the window if they became suspicious, he would have seen her.

[crim son]

17. Oh, that one breaks my heart.

The little dog, too. Who imagines, as a young person, that they might end up so solitary that their death means nothing to anybody but their dog?

[NewWaveChick1981]

47. I know. It's totally heartbreaking.

:cry:

[idgiehkt]

18. I just have to say

please people, if you hear an animal barking incessantly, please call animal control. One phone call is all it would take to help that animal. 5 minutes of your time. I bet this happens a whole lot more than people even realize.

Thanks for posting that NWC. I always am on the look out for animals left behind because it happens frequently in the south when people move. I thought my across the street neighbors had abandoned their pets a while back, but really they moved out of a rental but left their animals, came and fed them for a month and then moved back in. It was a weird situation but animal control did an address search, got in touch with the owner who told them the situation. And they also came out there a couple of times and fed the dog, and the roosters, who technically were probably being raised to fight but unless they are caught fighting them there is nothing you can do. Stuff like this drives me crazy with worry unless I call and get something done about it.

[hatredisnotavalue]

31. I think people just don't want to get involved, sadly IMHO it's our bureaucracy

We had a situation on our road. After a couple of days, I noticed no activity at our next door neighbor, except for a German Shepherd looking out of the upstairs window several times when I drove by.
After a week, I became alarmed and called animal control and told them of the dog who appeared to be stranded in the house. And yes, I waited a week, which I am ashamed of. They said there was nothing they could do. I then called the local police and they likewise said there was nothing they could do. The owner of the house was living up the road and all parties of the house were accounted for. I told the police that there were no tire tracks in the driveway for a week and I was worried about the welfare of the dog. Again, they said there was nothing they could do.
I then called the state animal welfare board and the inspector said he would be up in a week. Now we are talking two FUKIN" weeks that I drive by that house at least ten times a day and see this dog staring out the window.

I finally meet with the inspector and I've got to press animal endangerment charges. I don't want to be judgmental, but the owner of the dog owns a number of firearms and is known to be a part time drug dealer. I am guaranteed that I won't be outed, and I go ahead and press charges. Come to find out, the owner had left a 50 lb. bag of dog food out for the dog and the dog had the toilet to drink out of. A couple of days later after the neighbor was charged, I heard a gun shot and I never saw the dog again.

[idgiehkt]

50. I am so sorry

That is a horrible story. Had animal control done it's job, which is just to have gone there and looked in the window, that would have been all there was to it. Don't connect unnecessary dots here, though. Because the situation may have ended up the same or worse without your intervention. I've worked with animals for years and I always think that suffering is worse than death in many cases. Plus good sized dog can drink a toilet bowl mostly dry in a few days, they need a whole lot of water. It's bizarre to me that *you* were asked to press charges. I don't really understand that, because it wasn't your property or your issue. The whole deal sounds messed up from start to finish. You did the right thing. What other people do is on them.

[NewWaveChick1981]

49. I simply cannot imagine leaving a beloved pet behind if I moved.

:grr: That is unbelievable, but I know it happens. :cry:

That dog was barking as an alarm and a cry for help. It tears me up to think about what she (the dog's name was Dolly :cry:) went through trying to help her human. To have other humans ignore it is a travesty. I know it goes on a LOT, and it makes me sick. :(

[Omphaloskepsis]

25. I have Roommates.

I imagine they would start to complain when I started having the shit and piss drip out of me. I hear the smell can be foul.

[crim son]

29. Good point.

Although if it's a lingering death you mightn't have any waste products to exude, being dried up and withered at the end.

[querelle]

27. No!

My best friend has the keys to my house. When he can't reach me after a couple of days (we talk at least three times a week), he comes over and rings the doorbell. If there's no answer, he let's himself in to check things out. Needless to say........he's caught me in some delicate situations and frightened off some pretty good prospects.

Damn you David! LOL!

Q

[crim son]

30. Everything happens for a reason.

:P

[querelle]

32. Yeah I Know

I just wish these things didn't happen when I have a hot little ballet dancer in my bed. OMG! Do you have any idea how flexible ballet dancers are? Damn you David!

Alas, I will never get to dance a horizontal Swan Lake again.........My little dancer won't return my calls now.

Q

[crim son]

34. Oh, I feel your pain.

:rofl:

[haf216]

33. That would never happen to me.

1) If I don't show up for work people send out the police. ( I have only missed one day in three years, and I called about 4 hours before my shift started.)

2) My Mom calls me at lest every other day. So I had not returned here call after two days she would braking down my door.

3) My rent is due the 1st of every month and when the apartment manger does not get it, they to come knocking on your door. (Or I would guess.)

[crim son]

35. So you're in good shape

unless you lose your job, your mother stops loving you, and you buy your own home. :7

[haf216]

37. Yea, knock on wood.

:rofl: :rofl:

[undeterred]

36. If it were up to my relatives

two years.

[crim son]

41. Aw, that sucks.

:hug: I hope you have a network of friends and acquaintances to rely on.

[SPKrazy]

38. We Live In A World Where We Abandon The Elderly

and abuse the children apparently.

I guess that is why I work where I work, or maybe it's just because I need a job.

It sure as hell isn't for the money :rofl:

:hi:

[crim son]

42. We live in a *country* where we abandon the elderly

and abuse the children.

[SPKrazy]

44. ...

:shrug:

*country*

*western*

*music*


:shrug:

I'm sorry I'm lost...

we live in a *country* where we abandon the elderly and abuse the children

I .... said that.... but ..... you are saying ...... it isn't a country....?

I'm still lost here friend.

:shrug:

[crim son]

52. You said we live in a "world".

I'm saying that the trend isn't the same all around the world.

[SPKrazy]

54. Well By George, I Mean Crim son

you are right

I only thought I said country

one of those, er, I forget what they are called...

anyway, you are right, our country doesn't value old or young, we value workers, or we did, now we value cheap labor, and er, money, and... well, youth and beauty, but not kids and old people.

:cry:

very sad

:mad:

[alarimer]

39. yes, if i was retired

but not now. My boss would notice if I missed more than three days. Otherwise I don't really have any friends and my family does not live here and rarely even calls me.

[crim son]

43. Then you must do something about that.

Join some group that meets monthly... whatever you like. Or don't like. It sucks to be alone.

[alarimer]

46. I am not much of a joiner

I just a loner, that's all. I don't really fit in anywhere. Mostly I hate the internal politics of just about any organization. Hell is other people, truly.

[crim son]

53. I was once the same, and then I got lonely.

I don't get very close to other people, but I stay in contact because I find it comforting. However I respect what you're saying.

[Deja Q]

45. 1 month; the landlord would want the rent money...

And if it wasn't for that I'd never be found. :rofl:

[greatauntoftriplets]

51. Probably not long...

I stayed in a hotel last Tuesday evening because we were having an enormous snowstorm and the roads were terrible. When I saw my condominium's maintenance guy Thursday morning (after having returned Wednesday evening) he had definitely noticed my absence. If it had gone on for a few days, he would have notified the management company, who would call my sister, who has a key.

I always tell the maintenance guy that I am leaving if going away. Also the neighbors across the hall. You'd think someone would detect the smell.

:shrug: