I just turned away two young sweet-faced Mormon boys

[spooky3]

who were on a mission. They had a hard time taking "sorry, I am not interested" and "no" for an answer and even said that "we talked to your neighbor and he said that you might say that." I had to close the door practically in their faces.

What would you have done?

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

1. Threaten to tear out and roast their livers.

Sorry, I'm reading Hannibal.

[MonkeyFunk]

2. Same thing

I'm nicer to Mormons than Jehovah's Witnesses. The mormon boys are sort of forced to do it, and they're generally very nice and polite. The Witnesses choose to annoy the fuck outta me.

[xchrom]

3. oh -- i would have invited them in.

:evilgrin: i like sweet faced mormon boys.

[ohiosmith]

8. :

:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

29. "You can convert ME, and then I'll convert YOU to our team."

:evilgrin:

[donheld]

63. I'd invite them in too

I've always been curious about the special "Mormon underpants":evilgrin:

[xchrom]

75. i hope they look like

tighty whities.

those are my favs.

[ThomCat]

66. HA! That was my thought too.

I'd invite them in and flirt unmercifully. :9

[Parche]

78. LESS WOMEN MORMEN??

Would you have told them you have a bible stuck in your pants, can they see if they can get it free?? haha

[flvegan]

4. Hand them a "Why Vegan?" handout and asked them

why they hated The Bible, Genesis in particular so much? Then, get the pressure washer out to clean up the brain matter after I told them Jesus was an Essene.

[Radical Activist]

13. huh?

I'm not sure why those things would bother Mormons too much.

Actually, if they lived what's written in their own health code Mormons in the US should be eating vegetarian. It says meat should only be eaten in times of famine.

[flvegan]

45. Sort of the point.

Were they practicing what they preach, etc, etc.

[Critters2]

39. I've got tons of lit from the Christian Vegetarian Association that would work. nt

[Deja Q]

5. Tell them to go ask their leader why they added one "M" too many to their name?

:shrug:

[momophile]

6. I tell them I've looked at their addition to the Bible and

it's not for me. Then they ask why. Then I have to tell them that I'm not even a Christian but I respect their decision. Then they ask if I've prayed to God for the answer. Then I say that I don't believe in their God so it wouldn't make a difference. Then they ask me to try anyways. Then I send them on their way.

[guitar man]

7. I would have

...introduced them to my dog :evilgrin:

[Arugula Latte]

9. Hi Spooky3! ... I would have done the same thing.

I mean, jeez, here you are in your own home and they're trying to tell you that what you believe is incorrect. The nerve, ya know?

:hi:

Oh, BTW, I don't know if you saw I dedicated a song to you ... ;)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=6176702#6177146

[spooky3]

33. hahaha! Thanks, Oregonian, I did not see the song

before now! You are one of the recipients of my hearts from last week!

Did you see the updated photo of (formerly) my little feral guys from last fall?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=243x23688

[Arugula Latte]

35. Thanks for the heart, Spooky!

I must confess ... You were a recipient of one of mine... :D ... The truth comes out ...

Thanks for pointing out the photo of the lucky kitties! :loveya: (I hadn't seen it.) They really remind me of my mom's pair of orangies.

We have a little black-and-white guy we're taking care of here because his mom is living temporarily in a place that doesn't allow kitties. That makes four cats and a bunny (not to mention four humans). Full house.

Take care :hi:

[spooky3]

38. awwwwww...you old softie!

that's a lot of furballs to care for! :-)

and thanks for the heart!

:hug:

[Whoa_Nelly]

10. Would have had this at my front door

Oh! I already do! :evilgrin:

[SPKrazy]

11. I'd Have Grabbed The Baseball Bat

and yelled at them and told them if they ever stepped on my porch again

I'd get the ball and a glove and we'd play some baseball, and not to worry about the neighbor's windows because they don't mind if they get broke?

:shrug:

[matcom]

12. one stuck his fucking FOOT in my front door once

stopping me from closing it. told him Joseph Smith was waiting for him and he would be standing in front of him in about 30 seconds for his anal trumpet insertion.

he left.

[Radical Activist]

14. Same thing

Politely say no and shut the door is all it really takes.

[matcom]

15. you haven't EVER lived in Utah

trust me. that is NOT all it takes

[Radical Activist]

17. missionaries

are pretty rare in Utah since they send most of them to other areas. You've actually had missionaries knock on your door there?

[matcom]

19. every fucking WEEK

don't know where you are getting your info but they are RAMPANT in Salt Lake

[Radical Activist]

21. they must have

nothing to do but keep re-visiting the few people in their assigned area that aren't already Mormon.

[matcom]

22. nope.

there are HORDES of them in SLC.

SLC is FULL of 'heathens' and they know it. they are trying to hold onto their 'base'.

Mrs Matcom actually put a sign on the door saying:

"We don't want your:
Cookies
Magazines
OR Your Religion"

HAD to be done. Horrible, horrible, place.

Different pair every week of the damned year

[Radical Activist]

24. How bizarre.

My Mormon friends in Utah say that congregations out there so rarely get missionaries assigned to their area that they have fights over who gets to invite them over for dinner.

Do you live next door to the training center or something? lol

[matcom]

32. don't live there any more believe me

4 years was MORE than enough

you just can't get away from them. not possible.

[Rhythm]

71. weird dichotomy in SLC...

"SLC is FULL of 'heathens' and they know it."

No doubt, Mat... i think i was most surprised by the couple of HUGE goth/industrial clubs that a friend of mine took me to when i was there in '98. They were the size of large werehouses, and still completely crowded on the weekend.

[Patiod]

83. Cookies? You don't like thin mints?

Why do you hate America?

(I LOVE thin mints - but agree with the other things on your sign)

[Midlodemocrat]

87. No cookies? OMG! What will I tell BabyMidlo? She's all excited about

cookie sales now that Thinking Day is over.


:hide:

[Jo March]

74. Sometimes it's not

I had a woman stick her foot in the door when I tried to close it. I am a pacifist but that really made me want to slam the door on her foot.

[Katherine Brengle]

16. I wouldn't have opened the door in the first place. nt

[Scooter24]

18. Since I'm gay, I'd probably call my boyfriend over to the door

and have one intense makeout and groping session at the door. Then I'd turn to them and ask for a flier.

:evilgrin:

Where are those innocent mormon boys when you need them? :rofl:

[mitchum]

20. Offer to trade them a handful of magic beans for their bicycles

hey, they're suckers...

[Kali]

56. ...

:spray: :rofl: :thumbsup: gotta remember that one - it has plenty of potential applications hee hee

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

23. you couldn't have done anything else differently.

nt

[Bassic]

25. Politely curse them to Hell in Satan's name

And try to cenvert then to Satanism. Works with Jehova's Witnesses at least :D

:rofl: :rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

70. LOL! n/t

[Bassic]

94. Oh it is a riot

:D

The look on their faces and the way they try not to look like they are runnig back to their car is just priceless :D

[Nicole]

26. I wouldn't have opened the door to them to begin with.

Problem solved. :)

[Roon]

27. Did you ever notice..

when they pair up those boys they will have a fat one and a skinny one?

[WindRavenX]

28. just do what I did:

Date one :evilgrin:

Oh, the missionaries in SLC are ridic-- adorable, puppy faced men.

Then i tell them I'm an atheist and my SO is a lapsed Mormon. Bwhaha.

[Strawman]

30. I would have recited this nice older lady's speech verbatim

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2yyPJg02Aak

[Blue-Jay]

31. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

baahahahahaha!

[spooky3]

34. Thanks, everyone, for your suggestions! :-)

[LeftyMom]

36. I've never had one come to the door here

It's a multi-ethnic neighborhood, so most of my neighbors aren't their kind of people IYKWIM.

[Critters2]

37. I tell them that I'll listen to what they have to say, only after they watch a video

about my church, and take some literature about my tradition. They never take me up on the offer.

[Chan790]

40. Called the police...

thankfully my rich, GOP-run rural CT town has an ordinance requiring a permit (for "safety" reasons) for people to go door-to-door soliciting. I'm kind of conflicted about it...I'm a civil libertarian and ACLU member so I hold no illusions about the fact that it is a violation of the 1st amendment; on the other hand, I really like not having Mormons knocking on my door and being pushy.

[Critters2]

41. The OP is in Utah. The police almost certainly are Mormon.

:scared:

[spooky3]

44. If you mean me, actually, I am in Virginia.

We also have an anti-soliciting ordinance but I didn't realize it could apply to religious appeals.

In a way I feel sorry for the boys because they are so young, mean well, and are in my opinion, brainwashed. But their church needs to train them to accept a polite "no".

[Critters2]

47. Sorry. Don't know why I misread it.

You're right about training them to take "no" for an answer. As to anti-soliciting laws, there may be 1st Amendment issues, though one should have the right to opt out of having them ring your bell. A kind of "Do Not Bother" list.

[Shell Beau]

42. Same! Except I would have turned the tables and tried to turn them

to my religion. It's only fair, right?

[edbermac]

43. Send them over to my house.

I'll answer the door wearing a goalie mask, a blood-soaked shirt, and carrying a chainsaw.

"Hey, where are you going? Wouldn't you like to...hang around...for a while?"

[spooky3]

46. hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

[NewJeffCT]

64. I'm having some neighbors for dinner

care to join them?

[Q3JR4]

48. Last time missionaries

came to my door I told them that I didn't like people proseletyzing on my doorstep and then politely shut the screen door and then the front door.

[nonconformist]

49. I usually don't answer the door or say "no thanks" and shut the door... BUT I have a fantasy

And if I'm ever bored enough and feeling frisky, I just may do this one day.

I would love to open the door, and as soon as the missionaries made their intention known I would immediately launch into my OWN 'conversion' of some random religion... Wicca would probably be sufficiently uncomfortable for them. I would be forceful and pushy, and try my hardest to have those glassed-over cult eyes and a creepy-ass smile while doing so. I would also follow them off of my property... maybe even a ways down the street, weather permitting. This would be even better if I planned ahead and had some printed out literature handy.

[suzbaby]

50. Well, if you're feeling venomous the following would work well.....

1. Tell them you don't believe in multiple Gods. To which they will respond, "Oh neither do we!" Then you say, but Mormonism teaches that if you live a PERFECT existence then you will be granted your own planet to be the God of (only men of course), hence the presence of multiple Gods. Don't know why, but this infuriates them. Even though they say they only believe in one God, they still teach that you can become like God yourself.

2. Tell them you can't believe in a religion that asserts that all women must wait outside the gates of heaven until their HUSBAND brings them in.

3. Tell them you just don't understand having to wear one pair of full body underwear for the rest of your life.

I could go on.....

I will say, most every Mormon I've met has been an incredibly nice person. I feel like kind of a jerk for posting this.... but here I go!

[idgiehkt]

51. man, I bet they have all the neighbors pissed at each other

wherever they go if they use that line alot, lol.

[spooky3]

54. yeah, I wondered whether it was a lie. We're a pretty neighborly

neighborhood. I could picture my neighbors (hubby is tactful, wife is blunt) telling them "I doubt she'd want to talk with you" just to try to get them not to bug me, but I don't think that we've ever discussed religion, so that would be a bit presumptuous, and they are anything but. It's more likely that they said nothing at all and these boys were just making it up.

on edit:

I would have liked to have been present when they visited my neighbor on the other side--his photo is next to "curmudgeon" in the dictionary. He'd probably tell them he'd be happy to talk with them after they'd all had a few rounds, just to throw them a moral dilemma.

[Poiuyt]

52. Just tell them you're Jewish

That always messes with their minds.

I had a rather buxom friend who would go to the door in her bikini top, smoking a cigarette. They'd be too flustered to do much.

[pitohui]

53. i don't open the door in the first place, glass window frame in the door

i've had them bitch before, i just say, "look you're two strange men, i'm a woman alone, good-day"

they are not sweet, they consider themselves my social superiors, they can all go straight to hell as far as i'm concerned

[Forkboy]

55. Invite them in for coffee and Slayer's Reign in Blood CD

Give you all something to talk about :)

[Zookeeper]

57. I stopped getting door-to-door religion salespeople....

when I put anti-Bush bumper stickers on my vehicle, which is usually parked in my driveway.

:shrug:

[u4ic]

58. You could have CORRUPTED them!

:evilgrin:

[emmajane67]

59. Maybe you should have tried this approach...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRmC0DaE6rE

[guitar man]

82. that is priceless!!

:rofl:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

60. tell them i am gay. and i am planning to stay gay. i may even get gay married.

[ScreamingMeemie]

61. Hide behind the couch... with the television off.

I'm just that way.

[zanne]

62. I just tell them...

"Please don't make me close the door on you". If they don't leave, I close the door on them. I tried everything else and nothing worked. This does.

[Roon]

80. Ever since the internet, i hate to be spammed

in my email or at my door. I don't put up with it. I say, "not interested" and close the door in their face!

[seemunkee]

65. My son saw them coming down the street one day

He took his miniature ark and torah scroll and put it on the front porch. They made it half way up to the door and turned around.

[Danmel]

67. I always try to be polite

If they aren't aggressive anyway....


One day when I was home on maternity leave with my duaghter (who is now 16), the doorbell rang and there were twon men, a father and son, Witnesses, at my doorstep. I was 31 years old at the time, but looked about 15, especially since I was still kind of chubby and was very casually dressed.

The younger one looked at me and asked "Is your Mom home?" and I just said "no, sorry" and closed the door!

[noonwitch]

68. The Mormons always send such nice-lloking young men

I tell them "Thank you for coming by, but I have a church that I am happy with." That usually works.

If I see them coming, I just don't answer the door. I treat JWs the same way.

[Patiod]

84. I tell them I'm very involved with my own church

which is true. I don't tell them I'm a Quaker, because I don't want to get into it.

I never answer my door, but lean out the window above it. It's easier to close the window on someone then to close the door.

We get 2 kinds of people ringing our doorbell

1) lost pizza delivery/Fed Ex guys --- happy to help

2) people from the Kingdom Hall down the street - they seem to accept when you say you're deeply involved in your own church -- they seem to be looking more for the agnostic/unchurched

[JackBeck]

69. I would have invited them in and

helped with THEIR conversion.

It wouldn't have been the first time...

[mduffy31]

72. I just tell them that I respect what they are doing

But I am pretty satisfied with my current religon.

[Phillycat]

73. If they were sweet-faced enough, tongue-kissed one of them.

:D

[billyskank]

93. Right then

I'm becoming a mormon. :D

Probably not sweet faced enough though. ;)

[Raffi Ella]

76. Not open the door in the first place.

I have side lights on either side of my front door,I can see who's out there without having to open the door.
I have no patience nor do I feel any obligation to be polite to those people and in this day and age of George Bushs 'murika' I am anti evangelizing(of any sort)and have no problem letting my feelings on it be known:

Typical scenario with evangelizers:I see them,I say "Yes?" through the side light,as soon as I realize who they are I tell them loudly and angrily to "get off my property" and walk away from the door...Works like a charm everytime. :D

[Patiod]

85. I'm a lot more careful, since I do a lot of leafletting for the Dems

As the world's worst campaigner, so I always appreciate folks who are decent and respectful

I'm a focus group moderator, and have trouble promoting one point of view - instead, I tend to say "here's some material on Candidate's stands on the issues; please read it over and be sure to vote on Tuesday.")

[Raffi Ella]

86. .

"...so I always appreciate folks who are decent and respectful..."

But...I find it absolutely indecent and disrespectful that they would come to my door for that purpose.
I feel no obligation - whatsoever- to give them any of my time or attention.There is a time and a place for being polite,I don't find that instance to be one of them :D

[Mendocino]

77. Maybe some of them are roaming door to door out of frustration...

..because their fathers and uncles have all the mormon girls.

[NashVegas]

79. Said Goodbye, Closed the Door and Felt Just Fine

Last Easter when I came home from camping, there were a pair of Jehovah's Witnesses at my door who wanted to have a talk with me. I told them I was uninterested and when they leaned on me to give them a logical reason why not, I simply said I wasn't going to have this conversation with them.

When they pushed again, I repeated that I wasn't going to have this conversation with them.

Then they asked if there was anyone in the neighborhood who may have suffered a recent death in the family and could use some counseling. That was when I lost it and called them exploitative assholes. Next, they wanted to know WHY I felt that way. At that point, I just told them to get lost before I called the police.

I feel no need to make any show of politeness for these manipulative jerks.

[ileus]

81. Ask them how many wives they plan on having.

[av8rdave]

88. I always tell them (they come to my door often) that I feel sorry for them and that

cults are SUCH a dangerous thing.

[Raffi Ella]

90. LOL>

:toast:

[ContraBass Black]

89. I would give them one "Sorry, I'm not interested. Peace be with you."

Before closing the door.

No one has ever persisted with me past that point.

[youthere]

91. My husband has a sure fire cure for the door-to-door evangelizing...

He stands at the door listening to them, then slowly pulls down his zipper and begins to undress. If that doesn't do it, he begins rubbing himself. We've lived in the same house for ten years and we've NEVER had anyone stop twice.

[Jimbo S]

92. Give them the 'Dick Cheney' treatment

"Go fuck yourselves."