What would you do if you came to possess the ashes of someone you never knew?

[Dangerously Amused]

What if they weren't even related to you? Would you...



Keep them in a closet?


Bury them someplace?


Fertilize the garden?


Try to sell them on eBay?



...Well...?



And while you answer that I'm going to grab another girl beer...

[zingaro]

1. I don't think ashes are meant to be housed, really. I'd free them.

It might be challenging if it was someone you didn't know - you know, to find an appropriate place. But I'd definitely send them windward.

[pokerfan]

31. Our mom passed away seven years after our father

She had never scattered his ashes for whatever reason, so when it came time to scatter theirs, we just walked them out to the highest hill on the farm. The sun was shining on the knee-high wheat. My sister had an epiphany and she mixed Mom's ashes in with Dad's! Mixed them up really well. Then we each took turns scattering them, including my seven year old niece, who was very close to her grandma and wanted to be part of the service. Then we formed a circle, held hands and took turns saying a few words and walked back to the house.

[Dangerously Amused]

48. Wow. That sounds like a very good, comforting idea.

[zingaro]

58. That is so cool. Heartmeltingly so.

[Dangerously Amused]

47. Do you plan to be cremated and have your ashed scattered?

I've always planned to be cremated. I think I'll have my ashes scattered someplace meaningful to me, but I haven't written that part into the will yet.




Note to self: Update will.

[Bzzzz]

63. Hubby and I plan to be...

It is in our will for our daughter to go on a "sabbatical" and scatter our ashes in special places that we have visited and fell in love with. Not only will we receive what we wish for, but she will get to experience and see what we did.

[XemaSab]

2. I would go someplace beautiful and scatter them

The last time I went to Saddlebag Lake near Tioga Pass there were some people there who were part of a book group, and one of their members had died and they were going to scatter the ashes. I thought that was awesome. This person wasn't a close friend of any of them, and apparently died with no close family or friends, but these people chose to take a trip to go scatter his/her ashes somewhere AMAZING.

[Dangerously Amused]

49. You know, I think I would do the same thing.

That's cool about the book club people, too. And I just googled Tioga Pass. Beautiful. They chose well. Their friend would have been well pleased, I think.

[XemaSab]

62. They were heading towards the trees seen in the back in this picture

[Generic Brad]

3. What is a girl beer?

Wine cooler perhaps?

[dropkickpa]

5. Amstel light

or something like it, I think.

[Generic Brad]

10. Then there must be a girl trapped inside my body

I enjoy Amstel Light too.

[Dangerously Amused]

51. I knew there was something "different" about you.

Psssst. Dark or bright colored bra straps show under white shirts. You'll want to stick with "beige" or "nude."

[Dangerously Amused]

11. Tonight, it's this:

Which is a lime flavored beer. But generally a "girl beer" is any flavored beer. Actually I would prefer Zima lemon or orange, but those are difficult to find. And there are some flavors that just. shouldn't. ever. cohabit the same bottle as beer. Like the citrus flavors are all pretty good, but "berry"? Ugh.

[Blue-Jay]

12. That's not beer. It's a flavored malt.

[Dangerously Amused]

27. Oh, suspend your disbelief.

Leave me to my little fantasy.

















Hitler.


:eyes:

[wildhorses]

15. omg--i must be a dude!! cos girl!! i can NOT stand that shit

you go right ahead on with your bad self...you can have my share, too BLECH:puke:

[Dangerously Amused]

28. Yaaay! More for me!

Thanks!



:hi:

[wildhorses]

29. anytime girlfriend!!

:pals:

[Left Is Write]

46. I do not drink anything that could be considered "girl beer."

:D

I was, however, a girl at least at one point. Now I think I have progressed to old lady.

[Dangerously Amused]

52. Eh? Eeehh? Speak up, missy!

You're younger than I am and I still drink girl beer, so that makes me, uummm... in psychotic denial of my advanced age, I guess.

And I'm just reeeeaaal okay with that. :7


Beertender! Another round for me and the young lady here!

[texanwitch]

4. Many years ago I moved to house and find a box of ashes.

The box had the name of the funeral home on it so I called them.

They tried to trace down the family but the they had moved on without leaving an address.

So I planted a rose garden and spread the ashes around plants.

The rose garden became very beautiful, and is still there.

[Dangerously Amused]

32. Yep, that't the kind of situation I'm talking about.

What kind of a box was it?



Where in the house did you find it?



And, did the former owner(s) leave aything else behind, or just the box of ashes?

[Blue-Jay]

6. I'd dump them somewhere nice and say a few words.

IF I couldn't find the next of kin, that is.

[Dangerously Amused]

35. Bullshit. I can see the picture.

You'd take them out to the desert and try to pass them off to the tourists as Folgers coffee.


Ya sick bastid.

[idgiehkt]

7. I'd try to hunt down a relative

and if that wasn't possible then I would let them go somewhere special like in a lake or creek or river, or in a flower garden

Hello there, btw. :hi:

[Dangerously Amused]

25. "I'd try to hunt down a relative"

:rofl:



idgie racks her shotgun: = chick chick =


"You sumbitch! I'll teach you to leave Grandma's ashes in the wine cellar!!" = BLAM!! =

[idgiehkt]

30. I know

this is the second time today I've laughed this hard...

:rofl:

:rofl:

that is just my southern dialect coming through. :hi:

[LSK]

8. I would wonder how I got them?

:shrug:

[Dangerously Amused]

34. Okay, like say in post # 4:

You buy an older house and find the ashes there, tucked away somewhere. Or a distant relative dies, and as the next of kin the task of cleaning out the house and dispensing of the property falls to you, and you find the ashes there without a clue as to who they are or how they got there. Or - geez, I dunno - maybe you find a box on the side of the road; it looks like it fell off a moving truck and it contains things that are of obvious sentimental value to someone, including the ashes. Something like that.

[wildhorses]

9. may i ask---why you ask? did this happen to you? and also

what is a girl beer?

in answer to the question...i would use them in my rose garden just as another poster suggested.

good to see you da

:hug::hi:

[SPKrazy]

14. I Think A Girl Beer

is one that doesn't have a long neck that sticks up

:rofl:

[wildhorses]

19. dude,

how much have you had to drink tonight:rofl:

[SPKrazy]

22. Zip, Nada, Zelch, Zero,

I

don't

drink

anymore

isn't that

scary!


:rofl:

I'm like


this


without


alcohol


or other

substances

well


I guess


there is

the


prescribed


meds


and


that


ambien


i


had


but

no

ambien

tonight

this


reminds


me


of


a

teletype

machine


like


they


used


to

have

in

my

dad's

office

when


he


taught

journalism


many

many

years


ago


don't


worry


I've


just


lost


it

is


all

:crazy:


:hi:



:hug:



:rofl:

[wildhorses]

26. that nucking futs thing...yeah

that would be you;)

[Dangerously Amused]

21. No, it didn't actually happen to me.

I just had the thought when I was perusing the "what will you look like in 75 years?" thread, and saw the pic of dirt (or ashes). And it occurred to me that I didn't know who that ash person was, if indeed it was a person and not just a picture of generic ashes, which set my mind off on two tangential thoughts, one being the fact that ashes or remains of dead creatures including humans surround us constantly, I mean that is basically what the earth IS, with the exception of vegetation bits, all of which (creature bits and vegetation bits) get reabsorbed into living things eventually and - well you know, the whole circle of life thing - but anyway, it also made me wonder what I would do if I found someone's ashes, or they somehow otherwise came into my possession. Like in a situation the poster above mentioned: moving into an old home and finding the orphaned ashes there.

So I started thinking about the potential options and (mostly psychological) consequences of that scenario and wondered... would I feel personally responsible for the ashes? Would the way the ashes were packaged, or the circumstances under which they were found influence my feelings toward them in any way? To what extent would I go to accommodate the ashes?

Which led me to wonder how my answers would compare to other people's answers. I mean, are there people who would have no feelings whatsoever toward the ashes, and/or consider them a nuisance rather than something sacred (to whatever degree)? Would those people have no problem with selling the ashes on eBay for whatever presumably nefarious purpose a purchaser might engage them? Or might they even flush the ashes down a toilet without a second thought? And if they did, what argument might one make to justify a position opposing that latter option?

So, yeah. Thoughts like that. Welcome to the half-sensical ponderings of a right-lobe dominant brain sodden with girl beer.




PS - Girl Beer: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6232282#6232496

[wildhorses]

24. its good to see you --and i really am pondering this question, too

i think i am pretty right brained...i am left handed...so that is right, right?:rofl:

i am inclined to the rose garden answer...somehow those ashes found their way to me through destiny and i think it would be a good way for me to take care of that person and in return that person is continuing to take care of me...kinda symbiotic and symbolical all in one:shrug:

but, i may have to ponder it more:)

[SPKrazy]

13. Depends

if they are someone that would want them scattered scatter them

if they are someone famous and you want to.. sell them

or whatever

just ashes


burnt body parts

ashes

no soul or spirit left there

ashes

if they were mine, you could do what you want to with them

[texanwitch]

16. How about making them into a diamond.

I have a co-worker who did that with her Mother's ashes.

[SPKrazy]

17. How Do You Do That?

Hi pressure and heat ???

sounds kind of cool

:shrug:

[texanwitch]

18. I am not sure but the diamond looked great.

Her Mother loved diamonds.

www.lifegem.com/secondary/LifeGemFAQ2006.aspx - 63k - Cached - Similar pages

[Richard Steele]

36. Here's a link to the company that does that:

http://www.lifegem.com/

It's my understanding that it costs more than a real diamond, though.

[Dangerously Amused]

43. I can't decide if that's pretty cool

...or kinda creepy.


For me, I mean. Everybody grieves differently.

[IntravenousDemilo]

20. It depends on whether they're of someone famous.

If so, I'd find a dealer and see what the market value is. :evilgrin:

[Dangerously Amused]

53. Hmmmm. I'm envisioning a REAL good money-making scheme here:

"Genuine Authentic Original Ashes identical to those Of (insert celebrity name here).

[krispos42]

23. I guess try to find the owner

If that didn't work, I guess take them someplace nice, as nice as you can find within, say, a half-hour or so's drive. A park with a waterfall, a bridge with a great view of downtown, a placid, wooded lake, something like that, and then say a few words and scatter them.

And call dibs on any gems you find in the ashes! :evilgrin:

[Dangerously Amused]

54. Yep, that seems to be the consensus.

Except for the gems part. That was original.



:hi:

[krispos42]

56. Well, the funeral home might have missed something valuable

You never know. I think a diamond would be consumed (it's only carbon, after all) but a ruby or other colored gem might have survived.

[billyskank]

33. DA dear, you ask the wierdest questions

:hi:

[Dangerously Amused]

38. Welcome to the random meanderings of my hapless little brainium. From the inside it looks like this:

[billyskank]

39. That reminds me of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom

:D

[Dangerously Amused]

45. Yeah, they pretty much based the movie on my life.

Except in real life, the rollercoaster car is actually my Id... and you can plainly see the white knuckles on my poor Super Ego.


Heh.

[femmocrat]

37. Turn them over to the coroner.

I don't want to keep human remains around the house or yard.

[Dangerously Amused]

42. That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of that.

What do you suppose the coroner does with them? Hands them over to a cemetery keeper maybe? And might be that person scatters them in the cemetery somewhere...?

But the part about you not wanting to keep human remains around the house, that's interesting and kind of what I was getting at, i.e., what types of associations, and attachments or detachments, would the situation pose for people?

[Pierre.Suave]

40. What's a girl beer?

seriously, I forgot the real question after seeing that.

[Dangerously Amused]

41. "Girl Beer" defined:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x6232282#6232496



I made the term up, too. So if you use it you'll have to pay me royalties.


Which basically means that you'll have to buy me a girl beer at some point in time. 'Kay?

[dpbrown]

44. I would scatter them on the ground at Pilot Knob

About three miles from my house is a promontory that was used by the Dakota people for hundreds of years as a place to leave their dead on scaffolds. There is even a painting of Pilot Knob done by Seth Eastman. I would take the ashes to that sacred place and give them to the grandfathers to help connect the medicine wheel for that person who had died.

http://www.pilotknobpreservation.org/

[Dangerously Amused]

55. LOVE that idea. Love it!

And thanks for the link, what a sacred and beautiful place.


Hey sweetie, how you doing?


:hug:

[pitohui]

50. i'd sprinkle them

if i knew nothing about the person, i'd light a white candle, meditate, and let it come to mind the best place to sprinkle the ashes

if i did know the person, i would know in my heart the place to lay the ashes to rest, i'd just have to get off my lazy duff and do it

a friend drove around with ashes in his trunk for a YEAR, sigh

[Dangerously Amused]

57. He drove around with ashes in his trunk for a YEAR!?

:wow:



But anyway. Yeah, I like the white candle/meditation idea. Good thinking. I didn't think of that, and I even meditate. 'Doh!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

59. I'd have an excuse to visit this tree...

Because I'd scatter the ashes underneath its branches.

[Dangerously Amused]

60. Oh wow!

That's a Live Oak, right? I saw them a lot when I lived down south, they are the most = amazing = trees, ever.


Is that a special one, like the Treaty Oak?

[China_cat]

64. Angel Oak

http://www.follybeach.com/angeloak.php

[gardenista]

61. Is that at Dumbarton Oaks?

A beech tree, if I recall?

I hope if some random person found my ashes, they'd think of the same thing...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

65. China Cat got it right...

It's called Angel Oak; and it's not far from Charleston, SC. It's believed to be over 1,400 years old. :-)

[madmax]

66. Oh my Momma would love that.

I have her ashes here and can't decide what to do. She wanted to be cremated but, she mentioned so many other alternatives of where they should go. She wanted them in the ocean, under a tree, in the same cemetary as the love of her life of 60 years.

Right now she's here with me and it will be 2 years in June. I don't mind - I get to talk to the Urn and cry. I miss her. Even tho in life she sometimes drove me crazy.

I Love You, Mom :cry: And I miss you

[GoddessOfGuinness]

68. ...

:hug::hug::hug:

[Shine]

67. I would release them to the earth....somewhere incredibly beautiful

with a spoken blessing.

To the earth we shall return....