I think I have "Complex PTSD" from my X husband.

[Maraya1969]

It just occurred to me today that I might have a real psychological problem resulting from that fucking freak who stalked me for a year after our divorce. Hell he even stalked me when we were married. He was emotionally abusive and I had a restraining order out on him for a year. He was convicted twice of breaking it, (even though he broke it over 100 times) and all he got was one night in jail and probation.

Before him I had lots of relationships. Heck if gay marriage was lawful many years ago I would be a widow because I lost the love of my life in 1994.

Anyway I met this man and today we made plans to meet on Wednesday and I got off the phone and felt depressed! I kept thinking "What the Hell are you so upset about?" And now I think I am just terrified of ever having a relationship with anyone again. I have become such a hermit. I never used to be like this.


But back to the freak that I married. I have been reading about what happens to people who are stalked and I had/have all the symptoms. To this day I have a flood lights on all night around my house. I carry pepper spray every where and have a knife by my bed, (which I know is probably stupid because I'll end up stabbing myself but I'm afraid of guns). And I am reacting crazy to just going on a date. I honestly feel like if I break it I would heave a big sigh of relief.

And I don't think the answer is time anymore because I am divorced 3 years now and the stalking pretty much stopped about 2 years ago. Although I still get the occasional "No ID" call which I never answer.

What should I do???????????????????????? Maybe I need to go to therapy.

I truly do not think I would shed one tear if that man died. Not one.

[Fran Kubelik]

1. Oh wow.

I have no advice, but here is a big hug. :hug:

[SPKrazy]

2. Therapy Might Help

support group might

maybe even a course of medications along with therapy

the kind of stress that being stalked can create on someone can alter a person's neurological make-up to some degree resulting in neurotransmitters not being produced in adequate quantities

also, the switch turned on, on the adrenal cortex may have conditioned your body to adrenalin and cortisol

at any rate

some professional help might be in line if this is interfering with your life and happiness which is really the measure of whether a person has a "disorder" vs. some troubling symptoms.

:hug:

[elfrangel]

3. .....

:hug: to you.

I would say that talking to a counselor, of some sort, probably wouldn't be a bad idea. At the same time though, your awareness that there is an issue is the first step in taking it on and working through it.

Hope that things start to look up for you soon....

[auntAgonist]

4. a few sessions with a qualified counselor

might help.
In the mean time it's not much, but :hug:

aA

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. therapy would help. one should never have to feel as though they dont have

control in their lives. i would highly recommend it.

[Ariana Celeste]

6. definitely find some counseling

and/or a support group. :hug:

[styersc]

7. Take it from one who knows, you are going to get over this hump

and you will be better the fine,you'll be great. I was an abused husband- not physical, but psychological, emotional and then after the divorce- blackmail over my time with my daughter- but you will find that, before you know it, you'll look around and you will be happy.

Maybe some therapy could do you some good. It's a relief to talk it out with someone who understands.

But here are two helpful suggestions:

1).Realize that 3 years isn't really a very long time- it will take several more before all the cobwebs are out of your head.

2).Carry on normal relationships- but don't use your date as a therapy session. Don't spend the whole evening reliving horrors to your companion or spend a lot of time psycho-analyzing him/her over every nuance of conversation. Have a fun time, take the opportunity to take a couple of hours outside of your problems. If the relationship goes somewhere there will be time to share shadows but for the first few dates- keep it light, don't get heavy. Don't trade one heavy situation for a new heavy situation.

Looking at might watch- "Well I guess our hour is up...."

Good luck.

[Maraya1969]

8. I'm glad you said 3 years is not a lot of time. It seems like a lot of time

And I feel like I should be over it. But reading about the PTSD helped a lot. And I'm not going into the whole mess on my date. That would abusive for the man!