Would anyone be willing to look over this cover letter for me?

[TheMightyFavog]

I'm writing a cover letter as part of the application process for an externship program in London. How does this look?



Dear Professor

I am writing to you today to apply for a position in the UW-SP London Externship program.
I believe that participation in this program will be the best way for me to cap off a successful and memorable scholarship at UWSP. In addition to an extensive education in the theories behind video and audio production, as well as hands-on experience in both classroom and practical settings.
As for my qualifications, I have knowledge of the basic principles of video and audio production including shooting, editing, and writing. I have also had experience in the business end of the broadcasting industry, having assisted a group of local radio stations in a major summer promotion. For a list of the rest of my qualifications, I refer you to my resume.
If I am selected to participate in this program, I would like to be placed in the television or radio industry, preferably in the production of entertainment, educational, or news programs.
I am interested in participating in this program because I have always dreamed of traveling and working abroad, particularly in the United Kingdom. It is my belief that participating in this program will provide me with a network of contacts in the broadcasting industry, as well as valuable experience that will look very good on my resume.
I will arrange an interview with you through the proper channels so that we may discuss this matter further. I look forward to our final interview, and I thank you for your consideration of my application.

[yewberry]

1. Hey buddy--

Your letter is mostly good. You might consider breaking it up (if it is being sent as an email) by paragraphs.

The biggest problem is your third sentence--"In addition to an extensive education in the theories behind video and audio production, as well as hands-on experience in both classroom and practical settings."--There is no clearly defined subject-verb-object relationship. This is the beginning of a sentence, but it contains no predicate.

Let me think a little.
Okay.

Dear Professor_______,

I am writing to you to apply for a position in the UW-SP London Externship program.

I believe that participation in this program will be the next and most natural (or productive--depends on your program) phase in my learning after my successful and memorable scholarship at UWSP.

In addition to an extensive education in the theories behind video and audio production, as well as hands-on experience in both classroom and practical settings, I have knowledge of the basic principles of video and audio production including shooting, editing, and writing. I have also had experience in the business end of the broadcasting industry, having assisted a group of local radio stations in a major summer promotion.

For a list of the rest of my qualifications, I refer you to my resume. If I am selected to participate in this program, I would like to be placed in the television or radio industry, preferably in the production of entertainment, educational, or news programs.

I am interested in participating in this program because I have always dreamed of traveling and working abroad, particularly in the United Kingdom. It is my belief that participating in this program will provide me with a network of contacts in the broadcasting industry and give me a real sense of journalism in the UK.

I will arrange an interview with you through the proper channels so that we may discuss this matter further. I look forward to our final interview, and I thank you for your consideration of my application.

[Breeze54]

2. You might want to emphasize what you will do for them!

;)

I see a lot of what YOU want but what are you offering them? :shrug:

I am writing to you...
I believe...
I have knowledge...
I have also had...
I refer you...
If I am selected...
I would like...
I am interested in...
I have always dreamed of...
It is my belief....
I will arrange...

I thank you for your consideration....

Do you really? :shrug:

[marzipanni]

3. What tofunut said

and Bon Chance, Jon.Chance! :thumbsup: