I was an asshole. Can you tell me of when you were an asshole, and

[bertha katzenengel]

what was the denouement of the situation?

I went to bed without apologizing and without saying "goodnight, I love you" for the first time in almost seven years. I told myself as I got into bed, "I'll cool off for a few minutes, then go apologize." What a crock. She was in the wrong, too, I told myself. And -- what a crock, because I know that once I lay down, unless there's some noise that wakes me, I am down for the count.

I am still a little irritated by her attitude last night. But that doesn't excuse me from being an asshole! I am ashamed. I'll apologize as soon as she gets up. I know she'll forgive me, but being a Harris, I'll probably carry the guilt to my grave.

We agreed we would never let the sun go down on something like this. I feel like I've broken her trust.

Denis Leary's song is ringing in my head. Look up "Denis Leary Asshole" on youtube.

[bertha katzenengel]

1. Well, I apologized - and Mrs. V. looked at me blankly.

"For what?"

She was so into a TV show* last night, I don't think she even noticed. I thought we'd had a tiff. Apparently not.

We've never had an argument, and disagreements have been nothing more than mild discussions. :shrug:

Still, I know I was an asshole.

* "Criminal Minds" - I can't watch it. Too disturbing.

[skygazer]

4. Isn't it bizarre when that happens?

I've done that, too - thought we'd had a pretty nasty little dustup only to have the other person look at me like I just got in from outer space.

You know what, bertha? Everyone's an asshole sometimes. Including us and the people we love. We don't love each other because we're perfect - we love each other because of who we really are.

I know all about the ol' feeling guilt for things no one else would even think twice about - I carry a load of guilt so big I need a Hummer limo to transport it. But I also know that I'm pretty silly to do so.

Forgive yourself. :hug:

[Spacemom]

2. It must have been going around

Hubby and I got into a "tiff" and I ended up going to bed mad. It's only happened two or three times in 14 years, still, I always try to follow some of the best marriage advice I ever received:

Never go to bed angry.

We live and learn, and true love holds up under the strain.

Glad to hear things are better this morning. :hug:

Things are much better here, hubby woke me up in the most pleasent way. :blush:

[bertha katzenengel]

3. thanks, Spacemom

and WTG hubby :blush:

[Little Wing]

5. oh fucking christ, fuck that shit

going to bed without saying "I love you"? broken trust? you = asshole for that?

[bertha katzenengel]

6. It's my relationship, Little Wing. EVERYONE, every relationship, is different.

:hi:

[jane_pippin]

7. You're human, bertha.

And you're a good one, too. You're allowed to be an asshole once in a while, so don't be too hard on yourself. Once in 7 years is a pretty good track record. And it's not like you want to continue being one--you want to make up for it--so my two cents is, talk to her, explain why you were pissed, apologize for being a jerk. When she's forgiven you, accept it, let the incident go, enjoy your day together, and don't worry too much about it. :hug: