Point out a common everyday object then criticize the fuck out of it.

[Louis Cipher]

I hate coins, who knows how many germs are on those little germ transmitters. Plus the last guy who owned the hand full of quarters I got in my pocket probably didn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. Probably get giardiasis. Tiny little flagellated protozoan parasitic infected metal death discs.

[Deja Q]

1. Air.

I hate air. You can't see it, but you definitely need to breathe it.

"Air" is merely an amalgamation of gasses. The wrong amalgamation can be hurtful or fatal to life as we know it. Unless you're silicon based and don't need to breathe, but I ain't pickin' at sand right now.

Air has pressure. Without pressure, our bodies (chiefly the lungs) would explode via rapid decompression; for they are not airtight. :)

When doing exercise, lifting, or even naughty things, one needs to breathe more air. This is annoying and it's hard to do too. If breathing is good and exercise, lifting, and naughty things are good too, how come one cannot do both at the same time?

[Louis Cipher]

3. Air sucks.

Most communicable diseases are airborne. How many people has air killed? Why do we put up with such things?

[Q3JR4]

2. Okay...

Look at those oranges. Sitting over there so orange-y glaring at me in their vitamin C goodness.

Every time I eat one of them the stringy white pieces of peal get everywhere, under my fingernails, on my shirt, all over my couch and the floor. How could they do that to me? Round little bastards.

.......

How's that?

[Louis Cipher]

4. You know, if they were capable of autonomic movement,

they would try to lob themselves at you, don't you? Try to give you a concussion or some shit. I've never trusted oranges, never have, never will. Everyone says "Ohhhhh, they're soooo good for you." Bullshit. I know better. Little orange bastards.

[Richardo]

5. Paper clips. Don't get me started.

Sitting there looking all ultilitarian and shit. Just try to pick one up. I said ONE. Not a spontaneously-formed, annoying chain.

And what are they good for, really? Can you unbend them and hang a picture? Not enough strength. Can you pick at that space in your right lower molar where part of your temporary filling fell out? Not pointy enough. Can you hold two or more sheets of paper together? Why do you think they invented the stapler?

Little intertwined wastes of steel wire, paper clips. :eyes:

[Louis Cipher]

6. Mechanical glue.

I'll bet some engineer from MIT was sitting around in his multi million dollar villa in Tuscany trying to figure out ways to make our lives more difficult et voila, the paperclip. If I want things stuck together I've got a nailgun for the job, but don't get me started on nails.

[av8rdave]

7. zippers. I hate %$#@ing zippers

They always snag, jam and/or fall apart on me. In a world of velcro, zip locks and buttons, there is simply no excuse for subjecting us to zippers!

[Louis Cipher]

10. Clearly invented by an S&M aficionado.

Copper death traps.

[asthmaticeog]

8. Noses.

When you're sick, or even merely experiencing an irritant, they get runny, germy and drippy and they're right above the mouth. Disgusting. And further proof, as though any were needed, that "Intelligent Design" is a fucking crock.

[Louis Cipher]

11. Agreed.

All the toxic sludge that pours out of those things is absolutely disgusting. Plus, how about shutting down when smelling something foul? But noooooooo.

[seemunkee]

9. Doorknobs

Who the hell do they think they are. Making me twist you to open the damn door. Is that how they get off? Some kind of power play? When I say open the damn door I want the damn door open!

[Louis Cipher]

12. Another germ transmitter.

Sitting there. Three meters off the ground. I'm looking at one right now. That little lock on it is worthless as any episode of COPS will tell you. You can just kick right the hell through it. I guess if the guy robbing you is really, really, really lazy, then maybe, maybe.

[Ptah]

13. Puppets. Sock puppets

They look real, but they aren't even alive.

As sweet as the puppeteer might be, they just aren't real



:cry:

[Louis Cipher]

14. I hear ya.

plus, the people that use them usually use an old unwashed sock with holes in them exposing their dirty, disgusting, nasty, feet with the yellow toenails and the little pinky toe with it's gnarled flakey nail. Gross. That is some nasty ass shit. But I guess some people get off on it. Go figure.

[JVS]

15. beer bottles suck. you can't stack them. and longnecks are too tall, stubbies would at least fit..

in the fridge better