Death... or Monicafication?

[MrScorpio]

Once there were three college republican frat boys who were stumbling around in the Washington DC. They were bar hopping in Georgetown, totally shitfaced and making total asses of themselves, as college republican frat boys are wont to do. Later, while they were passed out on the sidewalk, a posse of pissed off DC residents captured them and put them in the back of their van.

The first frat boy wakes up and sees one of the DC guys wearing a Bill Clinton mask and holding a large stick that was shaped like a cigar.

"You guys are college republicans, aren't you?", asked the stick wielding man in the mask. The frat boy replied that they were, then he asked what was going to happen to them.

"It's simple,", replied the masked man, "We, the good citizens of Washington DC, are sick and tired of you Republican scum ruining our city with your antics, So for your punishment, you have a choice. 'Monicafication', or Death."

The first frat says, "Monicafication, because I don't want to die!" So they take him away. He's dragged from the van and taken to an alley where they violate his various orifices with the stick and he screams and begs for mercy. This goes on for a good ten minutes. Because of the commotion then the second guy wakes up and he sees the first guy come staggering back to the van saying, "Pick death! Pick death!"

But the guy doesn't believe him so he also picks "Monicafication". And then the same thing happens to him as well.

Then the third guy wakes up and see the second guy staggering back saying" "Pick Death! For God's sake, pick death!" So the smug frat boy figures that no matter whatever is going on, what the heck? They won't actually kill me. He says, "Death... like it's really going to happen." After he picks death, then Masked Man smiles and says, "Ahh, looks like we have a brave one here. Okay then, for the crime of ruining our fair city with your antics, frat boy, you are hereby sentenced to DEATH... By Monicafication!!!"

[MrScorpio]

1. Tough Room