Does anyone else find wedding "Money Dances" repulsively materialistic and tacky?

[ReadTomPaine]

Pinning money to someone’s clothes? Are you kidding me? Won’t an envelope given to the couple along with the wedding gift suffice? How on earth did this tacky tradition leave the slums of Eastern Europe and wind up around the world? It’s one of the crudest expressions of support I can imagine and it debases everyone involved.



I understand this is also becoming popular with birthday parties as well. Of all the traditions to adopt, why this boorish nonsense? It's so vulgar it's sickening.

[Droopy]

1. If I ever get married

I'm going to try to make it one of those deals where we just go to the courthouse and say, "I do."

[ReadTomPaine]

2. The world is filled with wonderful wedding traditions….

that just about anyone can appreciate and enjoy – no matter the cultural background. From the simple and elegant to the complex and sophisticated, there is a wonderful buffet of supportive expression to choose from.

This nonsense isn’t one of them.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. I've never heard of that.

I don't think I've ever seen one.

[Reverend_Smitty]

4. me either...

wonder if it's a regional or cultural thing :shrug:

[ReadTomPaine]

6. It started out in Eastern Europe, but has spread quite a bit

As well as being represented here in the eastern & southern United States, it's done in the Philippines, Bolivia, Mexico and elsewhere. It has spread pretty much around the world.

[dropkickpa]

5. It left the "slums" of eastern europe

When the residents immigrated to the US to find meaningful work and lives (primarily mining ans steel mills). Damn those hunky immigrant bastards with their funny traditions, why don't they thake their pierogi's and haluski an go back where they belong?!?!:sarcasm:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunky_Culture

[ReadTomPaine]

7. See post #2.

[dropkickpa]

8. It's actually not that tacky when practised by

EE's. You put some money in a jar, do a shot, and dance with the bride or groom. The pinning of money to the clothing is NOT how the tradition originally goes. But I always get a really squicky feeling when people point to the traditions of other culture and say "Look at that! They so freaking weird! That's so tacky!" etc etc. Just because it doesn't fit in with the WASPy american wedding tradition doesn't mean it's tacky or wrong. This tradition started long before the tacky ass wishing well card thing, and it's a hell of a lot more fun.

[ReadTomPaine]

9. Pinning money to clothes is what I am referring to, and it's tacky no matter who does it.

Here- from your own source on Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_money_dance

The dance takes place some time after the First dance, often once guests have had a chance to have a few drinks. The best man or MC or the Disc-Jockey announces the event. Customarily, the best man begins dancing with the bride, pinning money onto her wedding gown or putting it into a purse, which she carries especially for the purpose, or into the pockets of an apron she dons over her gown especially for this dance. In a more contemporary version of this custom, the dance includes bridesmaids and other ladies who dance with the groom and pin money on his lapel. Each of the guests who dance with the bride or groom, respectively, takes only a few moments before another guest cuts in.

At Ukrainian weddings, the father of the bride usually begins, pinning money on her dress. He is followed by the best man and groomsmen, and, finally, by the remainder of the male guests. Another variation is where the bride's veil is removed and given to the maid of honor and an apron is placed on the bride. Money is then placed into her apron during the dance.

At Yugoslavian weddings, instead of pinning the money on the bride's gown, the male guests give the money to the best man for safe keeping. At Hungarian and Portuguese weddings, the bride takes off her shoes and puts them in the middle of the dance floor. Then the shoes are passed around from guests to guest and each deposits a contribution.

At Filipino weddings, the disk jockey usually announces that it is time for the money dance. Males line up in front of the bride, pinning money on her dress or veil. Same with the male, only females line up instead.

Oh, and FYI - I'm about as far from a WASP as one can be.

[Book Lover]

10. *This* Croat/Serb finds it incredibly tacky

And I've never seen it done at any family wedding I've been to on that side of my family.

[LeftyMom]

12. Nobody does it on the Hungarian half of my family, either. I'd never even heard of it.

Actually, the Hungarian half does the same thing as the Italian half- grab a card at Safeway (tradition enhancing bonus: also sells booze and pantyhose, since you can't have a wedding without at least one hosiery emergency) on the way to the wedding, scrounge around for a pen, then throw some money in. It's a very convenient tradition.

[dropkickpa]

13. I've seen it mostly at polish weddings here

Maybe I've seen it so much because of the large eastern european/polish population here in Pittsburgh. I've never seen people pin money to the bride and groom, I've only seen the jar thing (and you don't dance a whole song).

[Maraya1969]

11. Many years ago when my uncle married the men lined up and put

money in a jar to dance with his wife. I'll never forget the look on her face when my uncle, after getting on the last of the line, walked up to her for the last dance. She seemed so relieved and it looked like she was about to cry.

I think is was bad because it seemed like they were hiring my aunt off even if it was just to dance. I supposed if they did it like you say where both the bride and groom dance for money it would be ok.

Personally I would love to be lifted up in a chair like they do at Jewish weddings.

[hedgehog]

15. My daughter married into a Polish family and they had a chair dance.

She wore a special lace cap and he wore a straw hat decked out with fertility symbols.

Everyone had a good time at the reception. I told my mother it was almost as good as going to a funeral. (Irish here)

[Gormy Cuss]

14. Smashing cake into each other's faces is the tacky event that I can't stand.

I've never seen the pinning money to the dress deal but have seen other cultural money collection traditions, like someone in the wedding party walking around with the bride's shoe. If the money dance is a culturally appropriate event (even if the cultural is only the local neighborhood rather than a broader group) it's no tackier than a dozen other accepted practices at weddings, showers, birthday parties, and other celebrations.

[hedgehog]

16. For me, tacky is spending more on a wedding than some small countries' GNP!

My daughter had a fairly large wedding , lots of friends and family, but she managed to keep the spending down. The music at the church was provided by members of the choir she's been singing with for several years. Her grandma made her dress and the bridesmaids all wore their version of a Renaissance dress. (Her sister even wore fairy wings and went barefoot!) The reception was in a large tent at a campground and the food was provided by a local barbecue. We danced until midnight and got up the next morning for a breakfast cooked by my husband and her other grandma!

[QueenOfCalifornia]

17. Without even reading any of the comments

here I say

YES!!!!!!!!! It is the ultimate insult.

I hate them and am repulsed by this blatant scam! Once I buy a damned nice gift, send it ahead of time, pay for hotel and meals if the wedding is out of town -- I believe I have already done my share. In fact... If anyone should get up and dance for some money it should be me.

The wedding is supposed to celebrate the bonding of 2 people -- I am not supposed to finance the fucking wedding for them.

I went to Vegas and got married because I wanted to use the money we had to put a down payment on this house. I did not want to have a big-assed party for a bunch of people who I probably wouldn't see for the next 5 years.

You really hit on a hot button issue for me - I detest this idiotic practice. I will, if ever faced with this crap again, get up and leave the damned wedding.

[Kali]

18. most weddings these days ARE pretty damn materialistic - this wouldn't

bother me any more than spending thousands on a dress, nevermind utterly useless bridesmaids dresses.

[pitohui]

19. yes i hate it, jeez that's crass

another thing i think is crass is casino venue weddings, nothing is more depressing than a bride walking around a damn casino in her white dress on her wedding day

i know that marriage is really just a financial contract, but crap, some of these traditions don't even pretend that it's about anything except the dollar bill

[Cabcere]

20. I'm really tempted to make a copycat of this thread

but it would get locked in milliseconds. :blush: ;)

[Callalily]

21. Although it seems very

materialistic, and maybe vulgar to us, in some cultures it's quite the norm.