i just found out why i am not successful in my life

[fizzgig]

i have engaged in premarital sex

according to the u.s. department of health and human services, "success comes to kids who wait to have sex."

because you can't get an education or find happiness if you have sex before you're married

dammit...that's where i went wrong...no, wait...that's where my parents went wrong.

:eyes:

[trof]

1. I'm screwn.

durn

[zippy890]

6. me too

oh wait, I am successful.

secure job, happy marriage, house, happy well-adjusted son.

must be becuase of the premarital sex I had.

:)

[NC_Nurse]

2. Oh, so THAT's the problem.

Oh, fuckin' well. Too late for me...and all my kids too. We screwn. :silly:

[fizzgig]

17. isn't it good to finally know the reason?

:D

[NC_Nurse]

22. ...

:rofl:

It's been torturing me, I assure you. }(

[SPKrazy]

3. success in what?

:shrug:

[fizzgig]

18. you'll have to ask them

but i'm guessing life

[petronius]

59. I'm guessing prolific masturbation - they get lotsa practice... (nt)

[graywarrior]

4. Shit. And on top of that, it's a sin.

[Dystopian]

8. Are you

a Recovering Catholic....?



peace~

[graywarrior]

9. I never recovered.

I seethe with nun resentment.

You?

[Dystopian]

14. LOL!

I'm trying....but can't seem to lose that freakin bag of Catholic guilt I'm dragging behind me...it really sucks!

seethe with nun resentment.....:rofl:


I'm sorry, but that was way too funny.....


peace~

[graywarrior]

16. You're from MA!

I went to St. Mike's in Lynn. Grrrrrrrr.

[Dystopian]

27. You poor dear.....

I never went to parochial school, so don't have PTSD from that...
but the upbringing, and threats to be sent to live with the nuns is still with me....I've heard many stories about all of those ruler smacks...I hope you didn't have to endure that...:hug:


peace~

[graywarrior]

36. Rosary bead beatings.

As well as beatings with their ropes and any other device that was at hand.

[Dystopian]

55. Oh my God.....

What a thing to come back to....I've never heard of those 'punishments' before....that is really sick. With the raging nuns of the past, and the pedophile priests....I got the hell out of there and never looked back.....The Catholic church is so corrupt anyway...I do feel for you...It's surreal..how could children be treated that way...and it was considered the norm.... :cry:
Many lives ruined, taken, and horrible lingering memories....
The original nun comment is not funny now.....Now that I know...
I am so very sorry...I had no idea...
I found the UU church...and the reverend is married to his male partner....So at least there are some good things left here in MA.
You really are a survivor....bless your heart...

peace~

[graywarrior]

56. Actually, the emotional torture was worse

Motivation by fear, threats to call your parents about how stupid you were, setting you up to say things they could report back to your family, comparing you to your smarter cousins who were a few classes ahead of you, seating you in the dummies row(last row) when you could buy your way into the smart row with S & H greenstamps or donations to the church or school.

I hated those nuns. I heard a bunch of them ended up homeless when the church decided not to support the convents any longer. I hope that's true.

[Dystopian]

60. evil.

Women enter the church, take a vow, and then torture children just because they can. Those bitches couldn't even follow the Golden Rule....They are probably dancing with Satan now...

I've been around a long time...and all I ever heard about was the whacks with rulers...and I thought that was horrible. Now I'm thinking that many people were just too disturbed to say more...still sickened by the humiliation...

There will always be victims.....heartwrenching...
I'm glad that you named the school and exposed them here...I'd want to scream about it in front of the church...So very sorry you had to undergo such misery.....just for being a child.
peace~

[fizzgig]

24. if i believed in sin

i'd be totally screwn

[graywarrior]

40. You and the rest of us here.

[Dystopian]

5. I'm successful.....

I'm divorced and can now have postmarital sex.

peace~

[trof]

7. "postmarital sex" I LOVE it!

Well done.

[Dystopian]

10. Thanks!

And I said that to him, too!


peace~

[Iris]

11. hmmmm. I managed to have premarital sex and complete my education.

Of course, you can do that if you know about contraception.

[TommyO]

13. But are you truly successful?

According to H&HS, neither you nor I are.

[Iris]

15. ha! ha! Well, I guess when you put it that way....

[fizzgig]

21. yeah, me too

but i guess they don't want us to know about contraception

[Iris]

28. or maybe we're just over-achievers! n/t

[fizzgig]

29. there you go

that's it!

[TommyO]

12. OMG, as a gay man, I can never be successful, unless I move to Massachusetts.

But wait, I'm comfortably middle class, and that's without having a partner right now. Damn, just think what I could have had if I had waited to have sex until I was married.

[fizzgig]

19. you coulda been a brazillionaire

bet you feel silly now ;)

[lost-in-nj]

20. So thats what happened??

Crap
it wasn't even worth it..

most of it anyway.....



lost

[fizzgig]

25. i know that feeling

x(

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. Looks to me like you have already succeeded in one area of

your life :shrug:

[fizzgig]

26. what, getting some?

but was it worth it to the detriment of the rest of my life?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

32. I don't know. Was it?

:shrug:

[fizzgig]

41. i'm being tongue in cheek

i consider myself at least partially successful

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. ah-ha. I see, now.

See how successful sex can lead to success in other areas of your life;)

[Mojambo]

30. I'd like to have a word with the u.s. department of health and human services

Because I'm not getting the desired effect over here.

Maybe I'll call them after I have some Ramen noodles for dinner.

[fizzgig]

31. give them hell

i don't think they know their asses from their elbows

[BlueIris]

33. Well I waited ENTIRELY TOO LONG and I still haven't found any kind of success.

We're talking a very long wait, people. Much longer than the national average. Only the blind and halt consider me successful in any way. Dumbest. Administration. Ever.

[fizzgig]

37. but were you married?

:shrug:

[BlueIris]

44. No. I guess that has condemned me to an unsuccessful life no matter what?

[sarge43]

34. Well, H&HS is certainly an agency I'd turn to when I need

help determining success and happiness in my life.

[fizzgig]

38. yeah, me too

[Oeditpus Rex]

35. Well, let's weigh how this message will register with teens

Sex... success... sex... success...



:shrug:

[fizzgig]

39. that's a toughy

i know i had to think long and hard about it

[Oeditpus Rex]

43. Yeah, when I was 16

my hormones were in constant battle with my desire for a bigger paper route.

[JohnnyLib2]

45. Hell, gang, some things are worth it !

Anyway, I never have bought into Repub. definitions of success.

:evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[OzarkDem]

46. Guess we should assume

all those wealthy, successful Republics didn't have premarital sex?

[fizzgig]

47. one person's success is another's failure

:D

[Danger Mouse]

48. at least now we have something to blame our failures in life on...

yeah, it was the premarital sex.

[fizzgig]

49. comforting, isn't it

:eyes:

[Danger Mouse]

51. yes. it's always comforting to have a scapegoat.

:P it's part of what it is to be amurrikan.

[fizzgig]

54. good to know i'm carrying on the american way

:P

[Fire Walk With Me]

50. Damn you, department of health and human services!

You are both judge and jury, and I resent your ruining our lives with such an abuse of power. :cry:

Hmmm, where is their office? ;)

Edit: Holy crap, the internets have finally infected me. Misspelled "their" as the more common "there". Arrrrrgh.

I blame the department of health and human services.

[fizzgig]

52. power hungry bastids!

the tyranny that is hhs must be stopped!

[DarkTirade]

53. I waited until I was 19... is that long enough?

Well, not so much waited as 'kept dating nice girls even though I really wanted to date the other kind'. :)

That, and when my brother got his girlfriend pregnant at 18, my parents never let me out of their sight to make sure I didn't do the same thing. So I never even had a chance to be ALONE with a girl long enough to pull it off until I went off to college.

[rurallib]

57. Was this alone or was it with someone?

Makes a difference. Those whose first sexual experience was solo are doomed to miserable and wretched existence of solitude.
Those whose first sexual experience was with another person are merely doomed to an unhappy life.
Those whose first sexual experience was with or in front of a group are outgoing folks who will eventually become politicians.

[alarimer]

58. That explains it all

Except...I was a failure BEFORE I had premarital sex. So I guess that blows that theory, at least for me.

But what kind of sex is it if you never intend to marry the person? It can't be premarital, since there will be no "marital" part at all. I am so confused...

[Der Blaue Engel]

61. If I waited for marriage, I'd be a 41-yr-old virgin

and eventually, a 90- or 100-yr-old virgin.

The US. Dept. of H&HS can bite my ass.

[krispos42]

62. I'm like 4,000 times screwn...

That's why my paycheck is always negative, I guess... :rofl:

[billyskank]

63. I should be reasonably successful then.

:shrug:

Or is it an all or nothing thing?

[laylah]

64. ...

:spank: I never knew you had premarital sex! Where did I go wrong? :P

[billyskank]

65. It's a scandal

she should be nice and pure like me. O8)