HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

[ElsewheresDaughter]

1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
20. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.<br>"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"<br>"What?"<br>"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32 Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. Or...

[DarkTirade]

2. That's what YOU think.

[lligrd]

3. What Gender Are You? nt

[DarkTirade]

4. I am male, according to the prophecy.

[noamnety]

5. LMAO

Sounds like someone here. For maximum annoyance, best if you don't ask - just assume random (and often incorrect) genders if in doubt. Go out of your way to address people by the (often incorrect) genders, even when there is no need. :D

[Crazy Dave]

6. 33. Your candidate sucks so you need to vote for mine!

[Dr. Strange]

19. I can't stand the my-candidate-haters!

My candidate is a fine person. Stop lying about the aforementioned person!

[DS1]

7. 14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

so guilty of that

[Sugar Smack]

8. And doing sit-ups.

:nuke:

[quip]

9. LOL me, too! n/t

[Mad_Dem_X]

18. I've done that, too! n/t

[Zephyrbird]

20. BWAAAAAAA!

My sisters hate me for that!!

:woohoo:

[DS1]

22. A few years ago I used to live near a grocery store that had a built-in bank

and I was always going home about the same time one of the guys would be counting his coins before closing down and I'd walk past stating random numbers and hear "DAMMIT" every now and then :D

[quip]

10. But number 10 is just plain mean...

in accordance with prophesy

[Sugar Smack]

11. Hey. Welcome to DU.

:D

[Ellen Forradalom]

12. If a cubicle worker, check your messages on the speakerphone.

Then call up someone and ask, 'DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY CYST?'

--swiped from Dilbert

[AllegroRondo]

13. We had a guy who did that

until we convinced his wife to leave a slightly racy message in his voice mail.
:evilgrin:

[Ellen Forradalom]

14. hahahhaha

Beats hell out of Bob the Dinosaur giving him a wedgie.

[ElboRuum]

15. 29. Be-a-utiful. n/t

[Cabcere]

16. Haha - a friend of mine in high school did #10

to a rather large teacher who was famous for being extremely arbitrary and unfair. Said teacher sent my friend to the principal's office, where the principal laughed, gave her a candy bar, and told her not to do it again. :P

[In_The_Wind]

17. Be nice to 'em while they're still mad at you.

[Adsos Letter]

21. I need a lesson in this?

I seem to come about it naturally.

Everyone has a gift...

:D