Need advice: Whether or not to go out of town for Christmas

[Tommy_Carcetti]

Lounge friends, if I can have some good advice. I'm in a bit of a predicament.

I live in Florida now with my wife, but I'm originally from Maryland and my parents still live there. The past three Christmases, I've spent at my in-laws here in Florida. I grew up 18 years in Maryland. Although I'm not obsessive about the Christmas holiday itself, the one thing I always liked about it is the traditional Christmas Eve dinner we had every year. My mom, who is Ukrainian, cooks up the traditional Ukrainian dishes on Christmas Eve, and afterwards we open our presents (growing up, the emphasis was always on Christmas Eve, and not Christmas Day). But seeing that I haven't had it in three years, I've really missed out on it.

Compounding it is the fact my parents are likely going to be moving from Maryland to Florida, perhaps as early as next year. So this could very well be the last Christmas they have in Maryland. And by proxy, it would also be the last chance I would have to spend Christmas in Maryland, where I was born and raised. So it is another reason as to why I really want to spend Christmas with my parents in Maryland this year.

Now, here's my problem: My wife is pregnant. She is due January 11th. I know she wouldn't want to go up to Maryland with me, first because she is pregnant, and second because she is mom and dad's little girl who can't bear to spend Christmas away with them. So I don't think she would be going with me either way. Which means I would be going by myself. Now, note I would not be leaving her by herself. She would be spending the time at my in-law's house, two minutes away from our house, where she always stays whenever I am out of town. So it's not a matter of leaving her pregnant "alone" as she'll be with her family, which is what she wants. And knowing my mother in law, she'll get plenty of hands on attention while she's there.

Now, what I have planned is possibly taking a couple of days early from work the week before, heading up to Maryland mid-week prior to Christmas, spending Christmas Eve with my family. Then on Christmas Day, I would take a morning flight from Maryland and get back to Florida in the afternoon. Since Christmas Day itself wasn't a big deal for my family, I wouldn't be missing out anything there, and I would get to spend the rest of Christmas Day with my wife (whose family is the opposite--Christmas Eve isn't a big deal to them, but Christmas Day is). And luckily, I was able to find a flight from Maryland on Christmas Day that isn't too obscene a price. But I have to act relatively fast if I want to reserve it, as I can't imagine it lasting forever.

However, my main concern is being away a few weeks before the baby is due. Now, my wife doesn't hit 38 weeks until after Christmas (December 28th). From everything I've read, there is less than a 10% chance of the baby being born before 38 weeks. Plus it is her first pregnancy, and those tend to last later. The most recent ultrasounds show the baby is developing at a normal rate. So statistically, the odds are in my favor that she does not go into labor if I am away.

My question is, am I still taking too much of a gamble? On the one hand, I miss going to my family's house for Christmas Eve dinner so much, and I haven't done it in 3 years and this could very well the last time I get to spend Christmas Eve in the house I grew up in. Once the baby is born, I can't imagine being able to do things like that again for a year or two. But on the other hand, I'm risking the remote chance my wife would go into labor, and that would involve a mad dash to the airport and hopefully being able to reserve a flight back to Florida in time.

Am I being too risky and/or selfish? Let me know.

[flvegan]

1. If you don't go, how much will you regret it?

To me, that's the big question.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

2. Tough question

I would regret it. I would say I would regret missing the birth of my child even more, but as I see it, there's only about a 9% chance of that happening, and that's if I'm not able to get a flight back in time before she actually gives birth. Which could be anywhere from a few hours to over a day.

Is the 91% chance nothing happens worth the risk?

[flvegan]

3. But, if your wife goes into labor during those couple of days

You're only a 3 or 4 hour flight away, as you said. You're really covering the point spread on this one, I think.

[Kali]

4. If your wife is cool with it go.

No offense but being male, you have already done the only absolutely necessary thing you are required to so - if it comes right down to it and you can't manage to get back for an actual early birth, she can do that part without you.:P

[quip]

5. Go to Maryland, take your wife

Against my wishes, my wife FLEW TO NORWAY when she was 8 months pregnant with our first. Long story; short version: she was fine. As you mentioned, the chances of her going into normal labor are slim at best.

No worries! But in other areas of your wife, be careful not to be too shellfish;-)

[Highway61]

6. Well

The flight is approx 1.5 hours. I would check with her doctor and see if it is OK she fly. Doctor will give you your answer. She may be able to go with you. After all, you are coming back Christmas day. So celebrate with her family that night or the next day for just this once.
My dad was Ukrainian....the food on Christmas Eve is, well, yummmmm.
I really don't think she will go into Labor that early, but the answers remain with her doctor. Good luck

[Tommy_Carcetti]

7. What I'm thinking now is....

Making reservations to go to Maryland.

And if the wife's late November-early December doctors appointments indicate any increased chances of an early (pre 38 week) birth, cancel.