My son just screamed "I hate you!" to me for the first time

[BarenakedLady]

Ask me anything.

*sigh*

;(

[ThomCat]

1. I'm sorry.

:hug:

What happened?

[BarenakedLady]

He pushed his sister

so lost computer privileges and then he talked back to me. I sent him to his room. Stomping up the stairs he declared "I hate you" and slammed the bedroom door.

It'll blow over soon. It's just the first time he's said it. Not the first time I've heard it though. He has an older sister. Hehe.

Thanks for the hug. :hug:

[ThomCat]

24. Milestone.

:(

Even the bad ones are important.

I know all kids do this, but I hope it won't happen often. :)

[plcdude]

2. And it begins

After 4 children all I can say is that my response is well I love you.

[BarenakedLady]

10. Yup.

It will be ok. The first time is the hardest though.

[fizzgig]

3. oh sweetie

:hug:

how old is he?

i still remember the horrible guilt i felt the first time i said that to my mom :(

[BarenakedLady]

11. He's 7

I remember saying that to my mom too.

Thanks

:hug:

[Bucky]

4. The only answer is: "I'm sorry. But I still love you"

It only hurts if they mean it. If he's 16 it matters. If he's 3, the word and the anger he's feeling are just a new toys he's trying to figure out.

[BarenakedLady]

12. I know

He's angry at me, but he'll get over it.

[Bucky]

21. Or he'll stay angry and start playing with matches and chainsaws.

Anything less extreme than that counts as a successful child rearing.

PS, the fact that it bothers you is a clue that you're a good person and a caring mom.

[Oeditpus Rex]

22. I think a better one would be

a rather solemn but largely emotionless "Yes, I know."

Seems to me that'd prompt a kid to think about the depth of "I hate you."

[quip]

32. Our daughter said that once when she was that age, and we feigned shock and looked horrified

and it worked; she felt badly for saying it. Ah, kids. My youngest turned 18 today! :o

[sasquatch]

5. How old is he?

[BarenakedLady]

13. 7

[sasquatch]

19. Just a phase

He'll probably re-enter it in his teens.

[Mojambo]

6. He doesn't mean it. Not even close.

As a son who, regrettably, has said it myself I know it for a fact.

[BarenakedLady]

14. Thank you.

[Inchworm]

7. Noooo!

:hug::cry::hug:

He is just angry. He love love loves you!

Are you ok?

:cry:

[BarenakedLady]

16. Heh

Yes, I'm fine. He tried to apologize and I told him I loved him. :)

Then he wanted back on the computer. Once he realized he wasn't able to play again, he stormed out again. LoL.

Nice try...

[Inchworm]

23. Boys! Geesh...

Always running scams.. no wait, that was me. :P

You are an awesome Mommy!

:loveya:

[BarenakedLady]

35. LOL!!! He's not very good at it.

I was just making cereal for my youngest. I asked him if he'd like some cereal too. He ignored me, so I asked again. He said...

"Only if I can play on the computer!"

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

41. Toooo funny

You can make me something to eat only if I get my way!

He's a good'n. Give him time to hone his skills :P

:*

[redqueen]

8. Aw... I'm sorry...

What were they reacting to?

[BarenakedLady]

18. Me trying to be a parent

He'll be ok.

Me too.

[redqueen]

26. Yeah...

Glad you're taking it in stride.

:hi:

[bigwillq]

9. Why?

What was the conversation about? :shrug:

[BarenakedLady]

20. Pushing siblings isn't allowed

Even if they are annoying. And talking back to your mother is a big no-no too. These two things together = no more computer games for this evening.

Not a happy boy.

[bigwillq]

34. He'll get over it.

And I am certain he didn't mean it. If you were 7 and your mama took away video games, I am almost sure you would "hate" her too. He is just upset but it will pass. Just make sure you tell him you love him before he goes to bed. :)

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

15. Oh - you broke your cherry!

Just so no one freaks out it's a Goodfellas joke

edit: - don't fret. Kids need to expiriment with their expression of emotion.

[BarenakedLady]

25. Well not really

His older sister already had that privilege. lol.

But it's a first from him.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

30. Don't let it get you down

Kids always need to push the envelope. He doesn't really mean it. Hey - I thought I really meant it when I was 17 - turns out that was the opposite ofhow I felt.

:hug:

[Wheezy]

17. I'm so sorry.

It really does hurt more that first time.

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

27. Yea

I'm sure he'll say it again.

Thanks for the hug :hug:

[northzax]

28. hey, if he hates you

then he certainly doesn't need your hated food, or your hated shelter. I know a salt mine that is always looking for youngsters about that age to, er, apprentice. lemme know.

[BarenakedLady]

29. Hehe

Thanks for the chuckle.

[northzax]

36. no, seriously

I will give you ten percent of the finder's fee. he gets a week's vacation (per decade) so when he's seventeen, he will tell you how much he regrets it. you can't let them get soft, you know...punishment is what makes a good child, punishment and the fear of increased punishment. not this silly 'love' stuff.


Did you know, by the way, that Osama bin Laden's mother loved him? told him so all the time. look how that turned out. just sayin'

[renie408]

31. This too shall pass.

Sadly, it probably isn't going to be the last time. When my kids used to say that, I would tell them, "That's OK. I understand how you feel. But no matter how angry I get with you or you get with me, I will always love you." That works on a lot of levels, not the least of which is their guilt.

I have a fierce temper and I figure it is natural that my kids didn't fall far from the tree. The one thing I have tried to teach them that my parents never taught me was that it isn't the emotion, it's what you do with it. No emotion is 'bad' and you oftentimes can't control how you feel. But you can always control what you do with it.

[BarenakedLady]

33. Good advice

And one I've already used. I always let them know I love them even when angry (or when they are angry at me). My oldest has declared her hate for me already. It was just a first for my son.

And on the bright side...I still have one more yet to tell me they hate me! LOL.

[renie408]

37. I don't know about yours, but with mine...

the girls will tell you they hate you about twice as often as the boys. And the girls can give MUCH more evil looks.

[Connonym]

38. aww :hug:

I remember the first time my daughter said it to me. I cried and called my mom on the phone and apologized to her for ever having said it to her.

It's inevitable I guess :hug: doesn't make it easy though does it?

[BarenakedLady]

40. Thanks

:hug:

I still occasionally get a "your the bestest mom ever!" too, so it will all balance out I'm sure. :)

[SmokingJacket]

39. It's my sweetest and most sentimental guy who does that.

Along with I'M GONNA RUN AWAY! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!!!

He's just emotional. That can be a good thing, too.

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

42. Oh dear

I remember wanting to run away when I was a kid. I think I even pack my little suitcase. I never made it out the door. LoL.

He is a sensitive little guy. Thanks

:hug:

[Akoto]

43. I said that more than once to my mom during some rough times ...

If it's any consolation, I can't recall ever actually meaning it. Years later, now that I'm in my twenties, I think back on those times and feel deeply guilty about them. My mom knows it, too. :)

[BarenakedLady]

44. I was guilty of that as well.

I can only hope that my kids stay as close to me as I am with my mom.

:)

[billyskank]

45. He does not mean it.

I promise you this.

[BarenakedLady]

46. I know he doesn't

But he sure is feeling it atm.

[billyskank]

47. You're a great mom.

That means that sometimes you have to do stuff he doesn't like.

[AnneD]

48. You're doing your job.....

You haven't done your parenting unless you hear that at least once. Wear it as a badge of honour.:hug:

I would tell my daughter...

1) Thanks for the compliment.

2) I love you too.

3) Well at least you will have something to tell Oprah.


Edited to add... She is 17 soon to be 18 and we are close. I hope one day we are as close as I am to my Mom (72 and going strong).

[BarenakedLady]

50. I've been elevated

back to "the best mom ever."

:)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

49. I did that just once to my father...

He immediately asked me what I said, then he beat me with a flyswatter. I never did that again.
Duckie

[BarenakedLady]

51. ...

:(

:hug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

77. I look back on it now, and I think he did the right thing.

I hurt his feelings. I didn't care. So I got spanked. It really wasn't that big of a deal. I'm not scarred for life, and I respected my father after that.
Duckie

[graywarrior]

52. I scream that at the mirror every morning

Your son is normal, BTW.

[BarenakedLady]

53. Oh gawd I hope not!

His mom sure the hell isn't.

:rofl:

[graywarrior]

54. Fuck, I meant DU normal.

We all know you don't belong out in the real world.

[BarenakedLady]

55. I'm kept inside

for my own safety and the safety of others.

:silly:

That's what they tell me anyway...

:tinfoilhat:

[graywarrior]

60. In a gilded cage?

*snort*

[BarenakedLady]

63. Caged birds

don't sing, no matter how pretty the cage.

...or somethin' like that.

:yoiks:

[graywarrior]

65. Unless John Lennon is talking about you.

The Beatles dig birds. Specially Norwegian birds.

[Wapsie B]

56. To me it just means you're a good Mother.

He'll thank you later. :)

[BarenakedLady]

57. Thanks

He just told me that he "loves my face." I think all is well. :D

[Wapsie B]

59. You're welcome.

:)

[lost-in-nj]

58. Welcome to the club

My daughter used to say this all the time

and now we are best friends..

just keep letting him know you love him....

we used to have a "NO ZONE" they could tell us ANYTHING and we would not get mad....
we would talk about it..
just try to drive them in the right direction.... we did this once a week if needed...


BNL

it hurts.... but deep down you know they don't mean it

:hug:

lost

[BarenakedLady]

61. All is well.

The first time just stung a bit.

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

62. My kids do that sometimes too...

I just tell them I love them and they can do nothing about that...

:hug:

RL

[BarenakedLady]

64. and then laugh maniacally?

bwahahahaha.

:rofl:

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

68. The other day my daughter said "I hate you"

and then spit a mouthful of pringles at me...

:shrug:

What can you do?

RL

[BarenakedLady]

69. Ouch

:hug:

[GOPisEvil]

66. You must be doing something right.

He'll thank you for this someday. My parents were pretty strict with me, and I'm glad. Now.

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

67. I hope so

And thank you.

:hug:

[LuckyTheDog]

70. Get used to it

And know that he will say it but never mean it.

[BarenakedLady]

71. Yup.

[SPKrazy]

72. Awww

are you okay?

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

74. Indeed

I'm back to being "the best mom ever".

Thanks

:hug:

[Breeze54]

73. Welcome to the club!

:P

I have 3 sons and all have yelled that at me, at one time or another.

It does freak you out the first time but you learn to deal with it, brush it off and have a laugh!

I tried to think of what they were really saying. Usually the translation is:

"I want my own way now and you are a big Meany for not letting me have it!" . .

It's their way of saying...

:rofl:

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

75. OooOoo I did say that to my mom once

with words...:scared:

I was about 17.

Egads, I've got so much to look forward to.

:rofl:

[riverdale]

76. I actually do hate my parents

Never told them that though

[BarenakedLady]

78. I'm sorry to hear that.