A joke with balls

[IntravenousDemilo]

The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my dick to my the back of my balls."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to drop 'em, which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the penis and began to work back. "Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, "Vietnam."

[Capn Sunshine]

1. LOL

I liked that, but you should merge it with the thread about fondling parts in the shed

[pokerfan]

2. Nuts!

[Bicoastal]

3. Seems to me I've heard a variant on this joke before...

...only it involved a Jewish peddler who was living in Chicago, but circumcised in Kiev.

[JVS]

4. I don't find the idea of losing one's nuts in senseless war in a far-off land very humorous

especially in light of the current situation in Iraq and Afghanistan

[IntravenousDemilo]

7. Oy... I thought we were in the Lounge. This is the Lounge, right...?

:eyes:

[JVS]

9. Where's their lounge? Where is the lounge for people whose genitals have been horribly mutilated?

The place where they can kick back and have fun, where's that?

Oh wait, it doesn't exist because they face a life of physical and emotional pain. Their lounge has been destroyed, ripped to shreads like their scrotums.

[IntravenousDemilo]

14. And I repeat... oy...

[petronius]

8. LOL!

:spray:

This made me laugh harder than the OP. (Of course, I'd heard the OP joke before...)

[JVS]

10. Remember that I'm half-joking, but only half.

[petronius]

15. Fair enough - only half of my LOL was because I thought you were joking, anyway... (nt)

[NewHampster]

11. Just love democratic sense of humor

get over it. People laugh at people all the time and people who laugh live longer.

[JVS]

12. So not only do we get to laugh at those less fortunate, but we benefit from it too?

The world truly belongs to the devil.

[NewHampster]

13. Got that right. Where's my Bourbon?

[spacelady]

5. I didn't see that coming. n/t

[terrya]

6. Good one!

SHMILY