Man who had sex with bike in court

[meegbear]

A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.

Robert Stewart was discovered in his room by two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr, south west Scotland, in October last year.

On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.

She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.

Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders’ register but his sentence was deferred until next month.

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.

Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

[taterguy]

1. That's a crime?

It's a good thing the cops have never seen what I do with this behind closed doors

[Connonym]

2. I'd really hate to see what they'd charge me with if they saw how I use my um, um, "toy"

the battery-operated boyfriend. Was it the guy's own bike? Because unless he was wacking off on someone else's property how the hell is this a crime?

[alcibiades_mystery]

3. If I had known that this sort of thing was frowned upon...

[Maestro]

4. How can this qualify as sex?

It's lewd activity I suppose, but really find this guy some mental treatment.

[supernova]

5. Was the bike offended?

And wasn't the guy in his own home?

[kwassa]

6. Your title makes it sound like he had sex in court with a bike

Much more interesting proposition.

[Sugar Smack]

7. "Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements"

Am not able to wrap mind around that. Must get coffee.

[MilesColtrane]

9. The Python lads must be writing for the Telegraph.

In the same issue:

Half-naked 'wolf-man' sparks police tree alert

By Matthew Moore and agencies
Last Updated: 2:55pm GMT 29/10/2007

A half-naked man sparked a major police operation this morning after climbing a tree and howling like a wolf at the top of his voice.

The man reportedly told angry neighbours "leave me alone, it's my tree'" when they confronted him about the noise at 6.30am.

As tempers frayed and local residents in Cathays, Cardiff shouted for him to be quiet, he retorted "that's a bit inappropriate", and refused to climb down.

[Inchworm]

8. Crazy

He had the door locked. Them silly voyeur housekeepers.

I bet a pillow and some other object was being violated in a different room.

:hi:

[LaraMN]

10. It's those damn gel seats.

They're perversely inspiring. They've been outlawed in Alabama.