Candidate Limericks!

[LynzM]

Reposted (with permission, of course!) from a friend!

So. Mike Huckabee.

1. You look like Kevin Spacey. That makes you appealing.
2. You have a bunch of experience governing Arkansas. Normally I forget Arkansas exists, but since my pal Bill Clinton also governed your state, you earn some points.
3. You wore a ridiculous powder blue suit for your wedding. I know it was the 70's, but seriously? Still, it kind of earns you points, for sheer balls.


4. You seem to agree with me on a number of things. This strikes me as odd considering you are a member of the Christian Right and I am basically your polar opposite. But you are against racism, you aren't afraid to raise taxes when necessary, you support health care for low-income kids, and you're tough on big business.

Ok, so we've established why you're not such a bad guy. But there are a few things that worry me.

1. This whole business of believing God is leading you to the presidency. Doesn't our current President think that too? And didn't he fuck things up?
2. You're not just a religious man, you're a former pastor. You believe the Bible is inerrant. That's fine; do what you like. But is it really appropriate to have someone like you be the leader of our (supposedly secular) country?
3. I've heard rumors that you're petty and thin-skinned. We don't really need another President who wants to use his power to exact revenge on his enemies.
4. You're a Republican. Just out of principle this is working against you.

So what it really boils down to is:

I think that you're kind of cute
and you wore a ridiculous suit.
You think the Bible's inerrant
So I think it's apparent
That for me the point is now moot!

Ok, that was lame. But what else do I have to do all day but come up with limericks about presidential candidates!

Consider:

Romney's a long shot at best
Except for in Utah, I guess
Gay marriage, abortion,
these are only a portion
of the issues he's flipped on, no jest!

It gets worse:

Obama's got troubles, it's true
Some argue that he's just too new
For some he's too black
For some, his black lacks
But I think he's adorable too.

(clearly, I judge pols on looks!)

and finally:

Clinton is tough competition
Watch out! 'Cause she's on a mission
She's tougher than nails
She always prevails
She's an experienced, shrewd politician.

Ok, I'm done.

I'm :rofl: over here... got any of your own to add? I think hers are pretty damn funny!

[Aristus]

1. Here's a limerick on George W. that I was never able to finish.

(How lame does one have to be to be unable to finish a limerick?)

A President named George W. Bush
Had his head so far up his tush
When they fell from the sky,
He attacked the wrong guy,
And...


A little help, please?

[racaulk]

2. The only word I can think of that rhymes with Bush and tush is push.

But I don't know how to complete the last line with that. :shrug:

[Aristus]

3. That's the problem I've been having since I got the idea.

n/t

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

4. We're at war in the Hindu Kush

kinda lame, but it rhymes, no?

[Orsino]

5. My candidate, Dennis Kucinich...

...Is like Popeye post-three cans of spinach.
DUers when pressed
Will admit he's the best,
But it's moot 'cause there's no rhyme for "spinach."

[LynzM]

7. Hehe....

That's an excellent point... :rofl:

[sakabatou]

10. Nice!

[rug]

6. There once was a man named Obama

Who dared to challenge Big Momma
His first name's Barack
She said he did crack
It's often more nonsense than drama

[LynzM]

8. I like it :)

:hi:

[sleepyhead]

9. The Nobel Prize winner Al Gore

Would not run for Prez - yes, he swore
His supporters they wept
But his promise he kept
Yet his fans keep on asking for more.

[LynzM]

13. Hehe...

Yep, rather true.

[DFW]

11. Well......

There once was a guy named Obama
Whom Limbaugh compared with Osama
But Limbaugh is crass
With his head up his ass
And needs a tent for his pyjama

or:

Consider Rudolph Giuliani
Whose Italian jokes are not-a funny
His personal life
Is all peppered with strife,
So who cares if he's dressed by Armani?

or:

Consider the Gingrich named Newt
Whose jowls are not thought of as cute
So on Sundays he goes
To those Talking Head shows
To show off his Brooks Brothers suit.

or:

An Arkansas gov'nor named Mike
Said he's what the far right should like
You may think it odd,
But he's chatting with God
On his cell phone while riding his bike.

Be nice, or I'll think up more of them!

[LynzM]

12. LOL, nice!

I'm not good at writing limericks, so I'm impressed that you can just throw some together like that! :hi:

[DFW]

15. I'm no Tony Award winner either. I prefer parodies

Some of my efforts can be heard here:

http://cdbaby.com/cd/freedomtoastrep

here:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=286361461

and here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7dPISoH6Ok&mode=related&search=


I spend a lot of time on trains over here, and the mind tends to wander LOL!

[Robb]

14. The real tragedy

...is the lack of candidates hailing from Nantucket. ;)

[DFW]

16. The ideal situation!

And then either the opponent or running mate from Pawtucket (RI).........