Would you fly away to another land

[Tuesday Afternoon]

Poll question: Would you fly away to another land

to meet a man in person that you have been communicating with via email since May?

[rug]

1. If you're interested, one of you has to get on the plane.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. Yes, I know.

Logistics are frustrating x(

[madeline_con]

2. Depends on which "other land".

Please be extremely careful.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. I know.

I guess I will add the international calling plan to my cellphone. I will stay in very close contact with friends and family.

edited to add : The Dominican Republic.

[madeline_con]

21. At least you're not TOO far away.

Seriously. Be careful.

[lizziegrace]

34. See my post below

have him come here...

[LeftyMom]

5. I did that. Well, via PM and email since October or so of '05.

Contrary to most of my family's predictions, the gentleman in question was not under 18 or over 50, crazy, misrepresenting himself in any way, nor armed with an axe, hatchet, machete or chainsaw.

We had a great time and we're working on getting him out here to visit.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. Thanks.

Glad to hear it is working for you and ...flvegan, right?

[LeftyMom]

10. Yeah.

:)

Thanks, and good luck to you.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. Thanks. I can use all of that I can get.

:D

[Flaxbee]

7. mmm. the completely different country part of it would

make me uncomfortable. Going to his 'turf' so to speak, puts you at a disadvantage. Any way you could both meet somewhere else? Both fly someplace different to meet, just so you're not at SUCH a disadvantage?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. Well, I know exactly what you mean. His job is making it

difficult. I guess if we don't hit it off...I get back on a plane for home. I just don't know. I feel pressured right off x(

[Flaxbee]

18. You feel pressured already, and you

haven't met him yet? If it doesn't feel right, don't go. Why can't he take a vacation when you can get a break, too? What is it about his work that keeps him from meeting you somewhere neutral?

Is he going to pay part of your way there? And are you going to be staying somewhere other than with him? I WOULD NOT stay with him - I'd book a comfortable hotel room, at least until you have met him / feel comfortable with him, etc.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. Read this and the posts below --

I feel pressured...because I think too much. He has not put any pressure on me. I put the pressure on myself :crazy:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear Tuesday Afternoon!

Not just yes, but hell yes!

I'd want to talk to him on the phone first, though...

Sounds good sweetie...

Keep us informed, OK?

:hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. We have talked on the phone several times.

He has a nice voice and he has nice face in the pictures I have seen of him. He has a good sense of humor. This will happen as soon as I get my passport. I let mine expire. I have to start all over again. I have te paperwork on my desk as I type this.
Thanks. :hug:

[TZ]

9. Being as if I had the money and leave time..

I would be doing the same thing, Hell yes! (except my friend is a hell of a lot farther away than yours, sadly...x(

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. I am going to use his frequent flyer miles --

That is ok, right?

[TZ]

14. Well somebody has to use them, right?

That's the other sadness I have..both my friend and I are too poor (relatively speaking) to even think about travelling to the other side of the world...
However, my word of caution would be to make sure you stay at a completely separate location/hotel from his place..Just in case, you know...:-)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. Yes. I know exactly what you mean. I should

pay for that, right?

[TZ]

17. Yep.

That would give you the most control of your situation. If I do manage to visit me friend (he's in Australia, actually) I would be doing that, even though I have very good reason to trust him.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. Money is really tight for me right now. I think I will find a way to

book a room. I have a "good" feeling about this man...still, I think it is better to err on the side of caution in this case.

[DarkTirade]

22. Depends. Is he cute? :P

[Tuesday Afternoon]

26. yes. Cute enough for me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz.

[bertha katzenengel]

23. After four months, Mrs. V. flew to me. Two months later, I flew to her. And

five months after that, I moved to be with her. Not a different country (CA to DC) but damn if it didn't feel like it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

27. That is a sweet story.

And, I can understand there would be culture shock ;)

[bertha katzenengel]

31. Have you decided what to do?

Mrs. V. and me: Eight years together, and the only end in sight (and not in immediate sight, unless it jumps up and bites one of us) is death.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

39. Hello,

I just got off the phone with him. He will be in the DR until March. He is privately employed now. He was with the service. I would like to fly over and meet him and take a friend with me. We can book a room and make a vacation out of it. I think this takes the pressure off me AND him. I have to get my passport. I let mine expire and now I have to find my birth certificate. UGH.

Your story gives me hope and I am happy you two found each other. You are in DC, right?

This guy has a house outside Annapolis.

[bertha katzenengel]

47. An excellent idea, taking a friend, making a vacation of it.

My goodness, an excellent idea.

Yes, we're in Southern Maryland - Charles County. About an hour from Annapolis. Hmm... :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

48. hmmm --

He is in Maryland until Tuesday, flying back to DR. He will be there until March. There just wasn't enough time or notice to plan a meeting this trip. I think I have found a good solution. Maybe one day....who knows what the future holds ;)

[auntAgonist]

24. I met a man online

we talked and met in person 5 months later, then again in 3 months and again 3 months after that. 3 months after that we met again long story short after meeting every three months he moved to MI from CA , I joined him and we got married. That was 7 years ago. I moved here from Canada.

best of luck to you and DO be careful. Have your own accommodation set up and make sure you give friends and or family numbers where you can be reached at all times.

aA
kesha.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. I am thinking about taking a friend or family member with me.

That way if it doesn't work out, I can still have a mini-vacation.

[auntAgonist]

44. good idea!! There is safety in numbers and I think

taking a friend would be a fantastic thing to do.

good luck.

aA

[Arugula Latte]

25. "Serial Killer" is two words

Just sayin'. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

50. duly noted.

:D

[liberaltrucker]

29. Hell no!

Meeting up with someone met on the Net is asking
for trouble. Unless, of course, it's a reputable
site like DU and other members of that site can
vouch for that person's credibility.

:)

Edit: Only if that land is located in the southeast
US between Georgia and Mississippi.

:silly:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

68. haha...cute and duly noted.

:crazy:

:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

30. Yes

I did it before and I would do it again.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

40. Good Answer

:D :loveya: :hug: :hi:

[Guava Jelly]

32. Maybe for a woman

:)

[lizziegrace]

35. ...

:P

[Guava Jelly]

36. .

Is Ohio another land?:dunce:

[lizziegrace]

37. Depends

Skybus had direct flights from KC to Columbus...

It can be anything you want it to be. ;) I can make Greek food...








:loveya:

[Guava Jelly]

38. You can just be you.

That's more than enough :hug: :loveya:

[lizziegrace]

52. You say the nicest things.

:hug:


:blush:






:loveya:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

41. That would make perfect sense -- for you

:D :hi:

[lizziegrace]

33. Depends

my sister met her husband online through AOL 9 years ago. He lived in the UK and she was in the south. She came here for Thanksgiving (her ex had the kids that weekend) and invited him here. :wow: It was a bit of a shock. They had been corresponding for a couple years and she also talked to a couple of his friends and family.

I would insist he come here for the first meeting. Get a motel room for him and set some ground rules in case he's not all you thought he was. I wouldn't want to be the stranger in a strange country unless you had friends or family there.

Follow your heart, but be very cautious.

My sister ended up moving to the UK 2 weeks before 9/11 and was married on 9/22 after knowing M for 3 years. Their relationship has been rocky at times, blending two families with an ex-wife around the corner in a small Midlands town. But she loves her life there and is now a british citizen. She has no intention of moving back.

:hug:

All the best to you. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. Thanks. --

:)I am planning on a booking a room and taking a friend or family member with me. Make a mini-vacation out of it. Thanks for sharing your story and best wishes for your sister and her family. :hug:

[ThomCat]

66. That sounds like a very good, safe way to do it.

I hope it goes incredibly well. :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

67. Thanks, Thomcat.

:hug:

How are you doing today? Any word on your scooter? :hi:

[ThomCat]

72. The insurance company rejected it

as not medically neccessary. I've spoken to two of my doctors: my Primary doctor and my Pain Management doctor. My Primary and I are definitely filing appeals. They won't accept anything from a pain management doctor for some reason.

I'm definitely going to get this scooter. I just don't know how long it will take.

If this appeal gets rejected I might just end up paying for it myself.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

73. Best of luck with the appeal.

Hopefully, you will win. :hug:

[UndertheOcean]

43. I would fly away to every land

escaping every home.yes

[Tuesday Afternoon]

45. Good Attitude

:hug:

:hi:

[UndertheOcean]

46. ..

:hug:

[xchrom]

49. it's one of the ways you make life a banquette. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

69. as long as I am not the waitress --

:silly:

:hi:

[xchrom]

71. ''waitress -- my chicken is rubbery!''

[progressforward]

51. No way. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

70. ok

*taking notes*

[Whoa_Nelly]

53. Sounds like you've already decided you will go

Lifetime of mistakes and wisdom to share with you in the form of best advice:

Don't go.

If he's that interested in meeting you, you two can meet at an agreed upon place IN PUBLIC in a town where you know someone on the Continental US.

If he cannot arrange his life, his job to meet you, and especially since you are willing to arrange your life to meet him, then he is not worth your time or your personal expense.

Am being honest here for your sake, Tuesday.


Please don't go to the Dominican Republic to meet him. He can make the effort and expense and arrangements to meet you halfway. That what a decent and considerate man would do.

When you meet someone from the Internet, especially as a woman meeting a man, it's safer and far better to meet him NOT on his turf.


OK
I gave you my best. :hug:

[auntAgonist]

54. You make some very valid points and your suggestions

are totally reasonable.
When I met Gryphon, we met in the middle sort of. We did meet in a public place and obviously we were both ok. We did meet in the USA. I lived in Canada at the time. It wasn't that huge a trip.

I think, with Tuesday taking a friend with her, that might be a viable option.

:hug:
Your caring post says a lot.

:loveya:

aA

[rug]

55. I'm sorry your trip to the Dominican Republic did not work out.

[Whoa_Nelly]

57. huh?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

56. hmmm. points to ponder --

Have you read the whole thread?

[Whoa_Nelly]

59. I have now

And taking a friend and making it a vacation is a good idea.
That way, at least you will not be alone.

So, if you can afford the trip, and as long as you are within your comfort zone while there, am hoping you have a safe and memorable trip :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

60. Thanks...

I think it is ok to use his frequent flyer miles. I should pay for the room and my passport, right?

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

58. I agree 100%

The first time I met a DU'er it was in an extremely public place in DC, and it was after quite a long time of communicating back and forth, 3 years ish. My first instinct to the situation of the OP is... why can't he meet you halfway?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

62. He is an ex-pat. Can only spend 30 days (thereabouts) in the US.

And he could after July.

[tjwmason]

61. As long as there's a "plan B"

I don't wish to sound cynical, but I wouldn't go that far out of the way if I were stuck with him regardless of how we got on, whether he were spinning a long yarn.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

63. ok

Have you read the whole thread?

[tjwmason]

64. Yes. nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

65. Then you understand that I am NOT stuck with him, right?

Not sure I understand the point of your post. Not your fault.

[Callalily]

74. Only via e-mail?

Not by phone too? I would if communicated via those two vehicles (e-mail and phone). Remember, one can still play it safe, pick the location to meet, etc.

Good luck on your decision. :hug: