Why is alone time so freaking hard to get?

[grace0418]

I know in the grand scheme of things this is not a big problem, but I'm frustrated as hell and need to have a bit of a moan.

See, I never get a moment of alone time. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband dearly, but I need some time to myself once in awhile. Our place isn't very big so there's nowhere to go for any privacy except the bathroom. He has a much better job than I do, with lots more vacation and flex days every other Monday. So A) he gets more time to himself while I'm at work. And B) I feel bad taking any of my pathetic excuse for vacation time to do stuff by myself because we already have to curtail all our trips to fit into my work schedule. He's also not a big drinker or one to spend a lot of time hanging out with the guys. Most of the time I really appreciate that he's a homebody but sometimes I wish he'd get out a little more.

We both come from big families and my husband is quite close with his. So from Thanksgiving until Jan. 2, if I wasn't at work or at the gym, I was cleaning, cooking, wrapping presents or visiting friends and relatives. I'm not exaggerating. It was super fun seeing everyone but, damn, I'm exhausted. All my coworkers told me about how relaxing their breaks were. They went to movies, they sat around and played video games, they didn't change out of their pajamas. I was sooooooo jealous.

Which brings me to the point of my rant. I decided to take a day off tomorrow. I purposely planned it mid-week so I wouldn't have to worry about overlapping with one of my husband's flex days. I scheduled a hair appointment for the middle of the day. I planned to spend the rest of it working on some craft projects, doing a leisurely workout at the gym, watching a movie, taking a nap. Sounds nice, right? One whole day ALL TO MYSELF! YAY!

Only...

I get home from work tonight and my husband is in bed with a fever. Not super sick or anything, but sick enough to warrant a day off. So much for that day to myself.

Sigh...

I know, I know, it could be a lot worse. But damn, I'm frustrated. I can't afford to take another day off any time soon and there aren't any holidays until Memorial Day.

x(

P.S. I should clarify that he does his fair share of the housework and cooking, etc. (probably even more cleaning than I do). My lack of alone time is not due to any unwillingness to help out on his part.

[Chovexani]

1. You poor dear.

It's really frustrating to not have that time to recharge. I'm an introvert and a loner, and it's one of the reasons why I moved out from my roommates and got my own place. They were constantly monopolizing my time and I couldn't deal with it.

:hug:

[grace0418]

3. Thanks. I lived alone for a few years and I loved it, I have to admit.

I really do love my husband, I swear. But I'm a bit of an introvert myself and I'm feeling very fried at the moment.

Thanks for the :hug:

[Madrone]

2. I COMPLETELY understand.

I've found, however, that not many people do. I've also found that many SAY they do, but they don't. I don't know what else to say but... :hug: I feel for you.

[grace0418]

4. Not many people get alone time or not many people understand?

Either way, thank YOU for understanding. :hug: right back atcha.

[Madrone]

10. Not many people understand ...

That's what I meant.

[grace0418]

11. That's what I thought you meant. Yeah, it seems like more people get too much than

not enough. That's probably why they don't understand. I grew up with 10 siblings, then met my husband in college. While we were still dating, I did live alone for a few years. But for the most part I've always had a hectic life and very little time to myself. It would help though, if his family didn't feel the need to get together Thur/Fri/Sat *AND* Sun of Thanksgiving weekend for example. :eyes:

[av8rdave]

5. Some of us get too much of it!

However, I would rather have too much than too little. Hope things improve for you in that department!

[grace0418]

6. Too much or too little sucks.

Hope things improve for both of us. :hi:

[av8rdave]

15. Thanks! I wish the same

[Skittles]

7. go to the movies alone

it's nice, I do it all the time

[grace0418]

12. Yeah, it is nice, but it just wasn't what I wanted to do with my day.

I wanted to hang out with my cat and work on some projects and watch tv. Other than my haircut and the gym, I wasn't planning on going out at all. So far this morning I've made him tea, made him toast, got him set up in the living room with the remote, and then I'm going out to get him some medicine. I guess it's better than being at my miserable job but not exactly what I envisioned.

I'll get over it. Sorry to whine.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

8. Completely understand.

I, luckily, have quite a bit of alone time, or else I'd start to turn homicidal--I LOVE me some personal time, just to goof off and relax.

:hi:

[grace0418]

13. You are very lucky.

And I'm about to turn homicidal. Not really. Just very depressed and stressed out.

:hi:

[Indi Guy]

9. Be careful what you wish for...

...I have more alone time than I know what to do with.

[grace0418]

14. I wish we could balance one another out.

I hope your situation improves as well. It's no fun either way.

:hug: