How can someone close to you not give you some slack

[UndertheOcean]

be all judgmental of you, tells to grow up and stop being a being.

Can't she see that you are broken and helpless and in extreme pain.

that I am doing my best.

I am really doing my best , but my life feels like a patch job.

I am sobbing right now :cry:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear UndertheOcean...

Even people near to you can be judgmental...

Sometimes they do not see the real problems that strike at you...

I am sorry...

I've got your back...:hug:

[UndertheOcean]

15. thank you for getting my back

:)

[Fleshdancer]

2. ...

:hug:

It doesn't make any sense to me either UtO. Everyone deserves some slack...especially from those close to them. :(

[UndertheOcean]

16. ....

:hug:

[SallyMander]

3. Sorry things are bad tonight

I hope the morning brings you a better day and more understanding... :hug:

[fizzgig]

4. if this is about what i think it's about, i understand

it's hard for people who don't experience what we're going through to understand what we're going through. they think we can just pull ourselves right out of it or change instantly how we're feeling.

please feel free to pm me any time

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

5. huh

after 30 years


I am nothing.....

not even a thought.....
so

you tell me???

:shrug: :shrug:

I've been sobbing since 10/2006

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

been there



lost

[UndertheOcean]

20. sorry ,

but "sorry" is cheap , I cannot really help you , although I wish I can , I am too weak.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Skittles]

6. I WILL KICK THEIR ASS

seriously, they are in dire need of a righteous ass-kicking. Now you realize it's not YOU who has a problem - it's THEM, and stop crying RIGHT NOW. :hi:

[UndertheOcean]

18. thank you for offering the ass-kicking

:hug:

Maybe I'll call you on it (just kidding)

[SPKrazy]

7. that sucks under the ocean

i can say that having been there more than once, not far from there now, that when i was there i was doing my best.

sometimes my best sucks, and it feels like a patch job.

I'm sorry you are sobbing :hug: :hug: :hug:

growing up is a process not an event

we all grow up bit by bit.

we stop growing up when we die i think

so don't take that too personally, sounds like the person you refer to needs to stop and think about how they come across to other people. just because they think they know the answers doesn't mean they do.

you're okay, and you hang in there UTO, you need help and you are getting it.

i need help and i am getting it.

we grow up a bit at a time and it hurts sometimes, and it is joyful sometimes, and it is always a process, not an event.

[Broken_Hero]

8. .............

:hug:

[UndertheOcean]

19. ....

:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. No, she can't see...

It's not her fault that she lacks the capacity to understand. I know it's hard for you to view her as a friend right now. She probably thinks a kick in the butt is as therapeutic as talking with someone who feels genuine compassion.

I'm so sorry you're having a tough time right now. I hope you can find a sympathetic listener... :hug::hug::hug:

[Maraya1969]

10. When people do that who are close to you it says more about them

than you. I bet she feels inadequate herself. Or fearful.

Be kind and gentle with yourself. :hug:

[Breeze54]

11. ((( UndertheOcean )))

I've been asking that exact question for years.

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. People prefer judgement over understanding and accountability.

[Indi Guy]

13. The pain/booze loop...

Pain caused me to drink. Drink caused me to recreate the pain that caused me to drink.

(From personal knowledge)

[UndertheOcean]

17. ok , I don't get what this has to do with me

sorry , or maybe I'm just being "selfish" and "self-centered"

[UndertheOcean]

14. "You are an emty and selfish person"

is just looping and looping in my mind since yesterday night, I feel so hurt , I would never in a million years verbally abuse that person in such a hurtful way.

:(

[riderinthestorm]

21. I've said those words to my husband

Maybe not exactly but words as hurtful. When it happened I was frustrated and upset with him, verrrry angry. I regret those words now. I was a lot younger and very immature at the time

But these words were said because I had a framework of a strong relationship that allowed me the "freedom" if you will, to speak so brutally. And my husband forgave me (he is not empty or selfish) because he has/had also lashed out a time or two. Relationships go through low spots and you just have to ride them out if you want it to work badly enough (or you are both so damn stubborn that neither one of you is gonna cry uncle!). Sometimes we can say the most ugly things - in retrospect I can't believe the stuff that came out of my mouth to this person I love so much. But they did. And we survived.

You can survive this if you want the relationship to work badly enough. Chances are that person already regrets it and if you can, be the bigger person and try to move on.

[LanternWaste]

22. Sometimes, the people we're closest to...

Sometimes, the people we're closest to are our harshest critics, as well as being our most ardent supporter.

Sometimes the criticism is given with only the best of intents. Hard to tell most of the time, though.

Who knows... certainly not me. But I do know this-- my best thoughts are coming directly at you this morning. :hi: