What Is The Hardest/Sadest Thing You Had To Do

[Parche]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFWPeVfWB9o&feature=related

I had to put my kitty Woos to sleep cancer, after only 1month 12December 2002
she was 16years old..................

Even harder then saying goodbye to my father who died of colon cancer 1988

:cry: :cry: :cry: :hi:

[flvegan]

1. June 29th, 2007...I put my best friend to sleep.

Worst fucking day of my life. WORST day of my life.

I still miss my big Zen as much as I did the next day.

[MonkeyFunk]

28. Was that the Great Dane?

I'm so sorry.

[flvegan]

29. Yes.

And thanks. I still miss him a great deal.

[MonkeyFunk]

44. I'm sorry

I lost a cat 7 years ago that I still miss. He was my special buddy.

We'd been to hell and back together. I had to have him put down 7 years ago this week.

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Realize that the decades are going to stretch out without the

love of my life, my protector, my best friend. And telling his baby boy that his daddy was gone.

I haven' gotten to the first one yet and the second one just about killed me as well.

[Parche]

5. HUG

:hug: :hug: :hi:

[CottonBear]

42. *hug*

:hug:

[AlCzervik]

3. watching my mother die, just sat in the chair next to her bed in the livingroom

held her hand and off she went. Thank God for home hospice care, they made her passing better, i like to think it was better and they helped one 17 year old girl deal with the aftermath.

[Richard Steele]

4. I had to walk my little sister into the morgue to ID the body of my best friend: her husband.

That was much less than pleasant.

[Adsos Letter]

6. To say goodbye to my mother...

she was a severe alcoholic for several years, and with all of the destruction of life for everyone in the family that comes with it.

Anyway...she left home and we didn't see or hear from her for over a year, though we did everything we could to find her...

Finally got a call from a hospital, telling us she was there, and dying. When we got there I looked through a small window into a room where she was sitting in a wheelchair; her skin was yellow from renal failure, and her mind was severely damaged from the alcohol...

She died two days later...for a brief afternoon she regained a very lucid state, just like before she started drinking (I can't explain it), and we were able to come to peace with many things, and shed many, many tears...

That was the hardest thing hardest/saddest thing I have yet to do, that didn't involve my own mental weirdness...

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. Be honest with myself.

[zabet]

8. Dealing with

the death of my older
sister who was a victim
of an extremely violent
crime. Watching my Mom
and Dad deal with losing
their first-born. Sitting
through the trial of her
killer and reliving it over
again. This changed our
family in so many ways it
it hard to comprehend.

[KBlagburn]

9. My brother Hanged himself Dec 31, 2007

I tried to reach out to him but he would'nt listen. He felt WE would be better off without him. He was 44, one year older than I. He was the closest thing I had on this earth. We went through so much together. We were raised in a foster home from the time I was 2 years old and although we had a very loving home and family, much of our lives we felt that all we had was each other. I miss him. He was a very large part of me. One week after he was buried (jan 5, 2008) was the 2 year anniversary of our mama's death. Till now I thought that her death was the hardest thing I had been through. But this was much different. She was old and it was her time. Our whole family was with her ( except my brother) when she died, she went very peacefully. He was alone on a freezing night in the woods when he died. This was not supposed to happen. I am having a very difficult time with this. Every time I close my eyes, I only see him in that tree. I am having a difficult time focusing at work. I honestly do not know how to handle this. He was my big brother, my protector, but I could not protect him when he needed me to. I really think I need help.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

10. I'm so sorry.

:hug: :grouphug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. We're here for you...

I'm so very sorry for your loss, KBlagburn. If you think you need help, you should seek counseling at least, to help steer yourself in the right direction with regard to therapy. Maybe you should discuss your difficulty focusing with your supervisor. S/He might be in a position to offer you some bereavement time.

I wish I could give you real hugs, but these will have to do... :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Flaxbee]

14. I'm so sorry, KBlagburn

how very sad and devastating. Please do seek help -- it is just too hard to deal with something like this by yourself. I'm so sorry. :hug:

[fortyfeetunder]

16. My deepest sympathy

and :hug: sorry for your loss.

[Skittles]

17. I am so, so sorry

please, reach out to a grief counselor

I do hear your pain....my dad killed himself and all I can tell you that while the old adage, "Time heals all wounds" is simply not true, time does make things easier to bear - you are still in shock and have not really started to grieve.

[MonkeyFunk]

27. I'm so sorry

to hear about your Dad, Skittles. I didn't know.


:hug:

[electron_blue]

23. I'm so sorry, Kblagburn.

[MonkeyFunk]

25. I'm sorry

Yes, get help if you need it. Please.

[racaulk]

35. Oh KBlagburn...

I'm so sorry that your brother was in that much pain, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Please reach out and speak with a grief counselor. You don't have to go through this alone.

:hug:

[GigiMommy]

40. Oh my, I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

[Maddy McCall]

12. Held my grandmother's hand as the nurse removed life-support.

Held her as she died. It was the saddest day of my life.

[QMPMom]

13. While it was expected, it was still very difficult to tell my husband....

...that his mother had died. He was a few days post-op and had gone to bed early to get some rest and I stayed near the phone downstairs. At 3:30am I got the phone call that she had died. It was a very long walk up that staircase to the bedroom to wake him and give him the news.

[fortyfeetunder]

15. Put my precious pup down

and buried her.

The part that really p'd me off was my family could not understand my grief, and pardon the pun gave me grief for grieving. It f'd me up for months. I never experienced such grief before. I loved that dog.

Since then I've had other pets though. But never a dog. I don't want that emotional attachment ever again.

[antigone382]

18. Telling the guy I'm in love with the girl he was in love with was dead.

He had just told her so at a party at my house the night before, and I accidentally overheard the whole damn thing, then told her that it was OK if that was what she wanted (it was), I loved both of them and wanted them to be happy.

Woke up the next morning to the news she had been killed in a car accident after leaving our house, and I knew he had to know so I went with some other friends to his workplace to let him know...passing the scene of the wreck on the way. I will never forget, never ever fucking forget the way he looked at me when I broke the news.

Worst. Fucking. Day. Of. My. Life.

P.S. For everyone who has told of something horrifically awful that they had to/have to deal with in this thread, I'm so, so sorry.

[Gonzo Gardener]

19. I have sat with many who were passing...

some far too young, some that were older. (Mom was a Hospice RN and I have worked as a volunteer in nursing homes and in the BMT Unit at City of Hope in Duarte Ca.) Saying goodbye to elder family members and a couple of great friends while holding their hands as they slipped from this world has to be the hardest thing ever... Making the decision to put down 2 of my best furry buddies, one cat who had cancer and another with renal failure, was a close second to the human losses.

With all of this talk of death, depression, and suicide here tonight, I will say that no matter how down I feel, every day that I wake up breathing is a good day.

:grouphug:

[sniffa]

20. I buried my best friend.

I actually lucked out, as he died after sundown, so I had time to race home from college for his funeral before sunset the next day. They handed out shovels to the men and we literally buried him. People were throwing things into the grave to be buried with him; I hadn't planned on that so had nothing to offer. Instead, I removed my eyebrow ring and tossed it in.

I'm no longer friends with anyone I grew up with, or even go back to my home town except to visit my parents once in a while, because it was just too painful.

[triguy46]

21. Putting my mom in nursing home.

[electron_blue]

22. Calling relatives to tell them that my sister's 32 yr old husband had died suddenly.

this thread is a bummer.

[MonkeyFunk]

24. I helped a friend die

he had AIDS. A cancer took over.

I spent the last couple days with him, doing what I could.

I still miss you, Jerry.

[Parche]

31. hug

I had 2 of my best friends die of Aids one in 1989-1990 my American Airlines rep,
and 1991-1992 my other friend..................very hard to see that happen....
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

33. ---

:cry: :hug:

[xchrom]

26. losses that i've sat through -- i lost my partner, my friend and so much more after

being his full time care taker -- i lost my dad to the ravages of old age, i was his full time care taker.
i sat with the woman who got me sober as she breathed her very last.

i have had to do for people i loved -- things i thought i would never ever have to do -- some horrifying -- amazing what you can stand.

but the hardest of all was the loss of my best friend -- the love of my life -- my dog, my old boy boy sport.
and though it's been several years -- i miss him every damn day.

[rug]

30. Meeting with a bioethics committee to end treatment for my daughter.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. ...

:hug:

[1gobluedem]

32. Dealing with the unsolved murder/kidnapping of my close childhood friend

It's been 17 years, but not a day goes by that I don't think of her.

[CottonBear]

36. The day we buried my father. I was 17 and the oldest of 3. Our family fell apart after then.

This happened in March of 1981. My mother never dated or remarried after his death.
My brother is estranged from my sister and me.

I've never been back to visit his grave site. I don't even know how to get there.
The day that he died was the worst day of my whole life. :(
I miss him every single day.

[unpossibles]

37. trying unsuccessfully to wake up my mother for dinner almost exactly 24 years ago

The shittiest part was that we had had this HUGE argument about an hour before, and I stormed off mad at her. What sucks is she was totally delirious at the time (one of the things we ended up arguing about) and I was too young and selfish to notice.

I have a much healthier outlook on it now, but blamed myself for about 10-12 years. I still have a little raw spot on my heart and am having a really hard time typing this.

[CottonBear]

38. Don't feel guilty.

My sister argued with my father just days before his heart attack. It wasn't her fault that he died.

:hug:

Take care. CB

[unpossibles]

43. thank you. Seriously.

I do know now it wasn't my fault - hell, I was 13 at the time. But it's still hard sometimes. I miss her a lot, but I'm also glad she raised me to be able to take care of myself.

[CottonBear]

48. You are very welcome! Your mother would be proud of you!

:hug: We will always miss our deceased parents but it gets better with time. It's OK to miss them. I think about my dad a lot and how he taught me to take care of myself like your mom did!

[GigiMommy]

39. Our baby Kayla,

was born way too soon in April '97 (her due date was late July). She lived for 5 days. Holding her and kissing her and saying goodbye as she took her last breath. We miss her everyday.

[CottonBear]

41. *hug*

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

45. Bury my son

continue to get up in the morning

[GreenPartyVoter]

52. I can only imagine :^( *hugs*

[MissMillie]

46. I ran away from home and left my 19 year old son to learn some tough lessons

and he chose to learn every single one of them the hard way.

If I had stayed, he wouldn't have shared living space with the low-lifes that robbed him blind.

But for some reason he didn't find my presence worth any kind of an effort to treat me with respect and civility in my own home.

So I left... and the leeches came in and took him for a ride.

He's back w/ me now. And he treats me much, much better.

[bullwinkle428]

47. Watching my Dad slip away mentally over the course

of several years as the result of Alzheimer's - when he finally succumbed to the disease, we really saw it as more of a relief for him at that point. This was not the same man that was such an amazing husband and father to us for so many years!

I was also hit very hard a couple of years ago after one of the cats owned by my ex and I developed pancreatic and liver failure and died - we had only adopted her a couple of years before, and both of us actually got some therapy for it afterwards, as it so affected us emotionally...

[MotorCityMan]

49. Seeing my partner sicken and die from cancer...

We were together a little over 5 years, and they were the happiest of my life. He was 25 years older than me (when we met, I was 34 and he was 59), but he and I just fit together so well. After dating for 2 months, I moved in with him. He was a (if not "the") top cocker spaniel handler for years, until he stopped showing dogs when he developed back problems.

The years we were together, at various times, we bred cocker spaniels, discus fish (beautiful, but a lot of work), and birds (ringnecks and quakers). We made sure to cover the land, sea and air.

He died December 17th, 2003; worst day of my life. I was in such denial that he was dying because I couldn't admit to myself I was losing him.

One of the last things we watched, before he died, was the remake of "The Music Man" that was on tv. I didn't realize the song "'Till There was You" was from that show; during that song, Mike grabbed my hand and looked at me with such absolute love in his eyes, I thought my heart would burst. I think he may of knew at that point that his time was running out. I will never forget that as long as I live.

A couple of years after he died, I met and moved in with a new partner, who I love very much, but it's just not the same. What I had with Mike was a once in a lifetime occurance, and we both knew it. He told me for all the "many" men in his life (Mike was a stunningly handsome man, even at his age), I was the love of his life.

I love and miss you, Mike, and I always will :loveya:. Thanks for everything, and I hope my 18 years of Catholic training are correct; that you're waiting for me (probably at the Rainbow Bridge with all our many, many kids) and you'll be there when it's my turn to go.

Now excuse me while I go and have a good cry.

[Critters2]

50. Euthanized three pets in four years. Every one was hard.

So was sitting with my mom when she died. Still, I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else.

[GreenPartyVoter]

51. I dunno. Deal with my Uncle's suicide? Deal with my brother's threats of suicide? Deal with

kids in school who died too young? Deal with my MIL's rapid onset of pancreatic cancer, week-long coma and being the one who told the doc to turn off the machines? My miscarriages? My mother's unexpected death? The various adored pets I lost to disease or cars?

I don't know. They were all crappy experiences. But... I am not looking forward to the day I have to put my kitty babies down either. They are almost 14 now and I am feeling a bit nervous about how much longer I will have them.

:hug: in solidarity for living through the pain.

[MISSDem]

53. Going home for the first time after

my dog Mack was killed. It was so quiet. If I hadn't had other animals to care for I don't think I could have done it.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

54. Hmmm. I really dunno.

I've had to do hard things, but they weren't "hard" necessarily in the emotional sense. Giving up dreams is what is hard for me, because my dreams too often become me in a way they never should and become poisoned and unhealthy by virtue of that.

:(

[NewJeffCT]

55. my hardest thing seems easy compared to everybody else

I should consider myself lucky - so far.

but, for me, it was telling my parents that I was getting divorced. I was the first person in the family to get divorced (still the only one, too)

[XemaSab]

56. Taking the cat to the vet to be put down

I knew it was the end for her, and talking to the vet about it...

He asked me what I thought and I said I thought it was time. She'd lost almost 1/4 of her body weight (going from 4 to 3 pounds) and her temperature was 7 degrees too low.

Then I went home and had to dig a hole in the rain.

She was a shitty little cat, but damn, it was rough. :(

[BooScout]

57. Hold my little brother's hand when he died....

Watching the life ebb out of his body was absolutely the saddest thing in my life. Something in me died too on January 1, 1987. He was an amazing person. Only 25 years old with what should have been his whole life ahead of him. AIDS robbed him, robbed my family, robbed his friends and robbed the world.

I miss him so much.