Mrs. Grumpy,

[easttexaslefty]

As one suicide survivor to another I extend my hand to you. I understand what a terrible road you travel. I have found much support and compassion here, but as in "real life", sometimes not so much. Several individuals on DU have private messaged me with words of wisdom and support. They have shared their stories of loss and sadness as I have shared mine. And this has helped me.
In "real life" strangers have become friends as I tell my sons story and some friends and family have become strangers..
I believe some people can not handle life in the raw. When they look at us they see bleeding wounded suffering people and it frightens then. It could be them, struggling to survive the loss of a beloved....so beloved one, at their own hands.
They don't understand our need to talk about our loss, our pain, our rage...It's what is required of us to survive. I am trying to learn to take my comfort where i can.
Hopefully, with grace, we will go on...
Peace to you,
Marie, Danny's momma

[Midlodemocrat]

1. A beautiful post. Marie, your son was beautiful. I'm so sorry for your pain.

I can't imagine. :hug: to you and yours.

[easttexaslefty]

2. Thank you ,he was beautiful

as I am sure all of our loved are to us. He had a huge heart and I know our loved ones never meant to hurt us. Their pain was just to great.

[racaulk]

3. Oh easttexaslefty...

This is a beautiful post, I hope MrsGrumpy sees it. I'm so sorry for the pain that you and your son have suffered.

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

6. I weep for all of us

I have met so many us, so broken. To lose someone this way is so shocking. It changes you. It rocks the belief in everything you once knew. What helps is a shoulder to lean on. Mrs. Grumpy I am sure, stays strong in front of her children. To friends, in person and in cyberspace, she can talk hopefully about everything so she can begin to heal. It happens very slowly,almost invisible to the eye, but with a little help it can happen

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. losing a child must be unimaginably painful. i am so very sorry for your loss.

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

8. I'm okay

It sucks terribly but I feel so lucky to have had my son in my life for 33 years. He was the greatest guy. I have found people I can talk to. My husband and surviving son love me and I love them. There are some wonderful people here and in "real life" Its just really hard when you are in this position not to take things personally.

[Shell Beau]

9. I saw (and still see) my mother go through terrible pain after

my oldest brother was killed in a car accident. She has never been the same person. Sometimes there is no right thing to say. I never understood real loss until my brother died. I feel so hard for everyone who does lose someone they really love. :hug:

[easttexaslefty]

11. This is true

I will never be the same. Joy and happiness many be in my past. Hopefully I can become a more compassionate person and from my suffering help others. Not as an unselfish move but as a way to find meaning in the rest of my life

[Shell Beau]

13. My mother's name is also Marie!!

;)

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

5. East Texas Lefty

that is a lot to carry and I can only imagine the pain you have.

Thanks for sharing your story here.

I am glad you are here and I'm glad Mrs. Grumpy is here.

You both are precious people and put life in perspective for me.

I'm very sorry for your pain, and I hope only good things for you.

thanks again for sharing your story and reaching out.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[easttexaslefty]

10. Well, you hesitate to say it can't get worse,

but after something like this it would be difficuilt to find what that was.
My wish is that we all try to understand mental illness and/or depression and suicide.
I fear many more will experience this, as the econony increasingly get worse and our babies come home from this miguided war

[RainDog]

7. ...

my heart goes out to you and Mrs. Grumpy.

I'm sure we don't always say the right thing, even tho we want to help.

I hope you can both find peace.

[easttexaslefty]

12. I have found there is really no right or wrong thing

to say . Just sharing Danny with everyone and anyone. Knowing people care enough to listen.I do not want to speak for Mrs. Grumpy but this is what has helped me.

[malta blue]

14. Thank you....

I hope Mrs. Grumpy sees this.

Thank you for sharing your Danny with us.

:hug:

[Name removed]

15. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[yellowdogintexas]

16. ah this is so sad. another survivor here. My dad, a long time ago

and it still can get to me.

I found a survivors group and it was a wonderful thing. My mom and I attended together for a couple of years. Then many years later our church here started one and I went. It was a wonderful experience and very healing. We bonded as a group and it was very healing to be with others who have experienced this type of loss. You have so many levels of grief to work through in this situation and no one will talk about it..except someone who has also been there.

Feel free to PM me ..I missed the original post been off a couple or 3 days

:grouphug: :hug: :cry:

[MonkeyFunk]

17. There's no way to convince you of this now

but that's not your future.

No one knows what it is, and it's sure not what you thought it was going to be, but it's not what you think it is today.

:hug:

[LaurenG]

18. I read your blog and I feel as if I know you

I feel deeply for you feel your pain and anguish and wish with all my heart I could take your pain away.

Please know that we love you dearly, unconditionally, you don't have to do anything or be anyone but you. I wish you peace from the bottom of my heart.

:hug:

[easttexaslefty]

19. I understand

There were several women in our suvivors of suicide group. They had to try to remain strong, as the grieved this most terrible of losses, for their children. It takes a special person to be able to do that. I'm not going to say stength. To me strength implys a choice. We don't really have a choice.
We breath in and we breathe out.And do the best we can.I am always here to talk to if you need me.
It ones that don't try to understand...well screw them...hopefully they will never walk in our shoes
Marie