Mods, please do not lock. I am not asking for medical advice here...

[LeftyFingerPop]

but I have equal breath sounds bilaterally despite irregular cadence and refractory tendancies. Antacids have proved insufficient to reduce symptoms. I have fever, hemoptysis, dyspneatals, abnormal vascular patterns, gynecomastia, spider angiomata, and halitosis.

Strictures and hemorrhoids have been ruled out via the "feel method".

Can anyone offer a reasoned diagnosis?

Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Sebastian Cabot
Manager, Mercer for President Campaign

[mainegreen]

1. Pinkeye.

You have pinkeye.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. Isn't....

she a singer or something?

[Sanity Claws]

3. Go to this thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7412041

Someone there likes to give advice. Qualifications are irrelevant. I'm just saying...

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. on my way. n/t

[Burma Jones]

4. Sounds to me like you have a bad case of side effects

[geardaddy]

6. Yep.

It's scrapie

[TrogL]

7. you're full of shit - literally

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. My nice male nurse just told me that!!!

Then he said something about giving me a 50 gallon enema to "shut my punk ass up"!

I love the care I am getting here!!!

[youthere]

8. I think you're pregnant.

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. Impossible....

I use protection.

[AngryAmish]

11. I don't think you should see a doctor

Anyone who says you can't cure yourself is just a male trying to minimize a female experience.

[Z_I_Peevey]

12. You should look in the Physician's Desk Reference

under "house, disease all up in the."

You're welcome.

[LeftyFingerPop]

13. Ha!

:rofl: :rofl: :thumbsup: