You fucking village idiots need to let me into your PhD program thingie

[JVS]

Problem solved, writer

[Bucky]

1. "I find letters of acceptance to be sooo sexy. I can't resist a man who offers me one!"

Gee, is it getting hot in this cover letter, or is it just you, baby? Perhaps I could make this an "uncover letter" and slip into something more... academic.

Mmmm, just pour us some wine and come sit by me while we consider how sensual those media studies programs can be. I find nothing more fulfilling than to deconstruct a mass market public awareness campaign and contemplate the demographics it might penetrate. Ooohh, yessss.

Would you like to peek at my GPA, big boy? Mmmm, this is truly the program of my dreams.

Yours truly,

Writer