Have you ever had either of your parents drop the "H-bomb"?

[quip]

I'd vaporize, or die of radiation poisoning if mine ever did!

[sarge43]

1. My father did

Just before he joined the army my brother went out on a pub crawl with some buddies. Some time after midnight buddies dumped bro's soddened body on the back steps. Then, uh uh uh, they thought it'd be cute if they shifted the family wheels around in the garage so it was sitting corner to corner. My father had a well established rep for a very short fuse and deep obsession with the well being of his cars. Buddies then rang door bell and split. Mom parked bro's body and went back to bed. That morning and I still remember it well yea these sixty years -- Mom and yours truly at the breakfast table, bro still in the rack feeling much pain. The Old Man appeared and had his standard breakfast of black coffee and cigarette, then went to check on his Beloved.

We hear the garage door roll up; then all the birds stop singing and the floor begins to tremble. The first blast wave hit --

JACK! JAAACCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!! Get Your #$*@!&& Ass Out Here!! If we had had 911 back then, I sure the neighbors would have made use. Mom got up and knocked on bro's bedroom door, "Jack, your father wants you." (She had a taste for understatement.) My poor brother emerged, looking like, well, a young man with a five alarm hangover and a rampaging father doing a fair imitation of the Wrath of God. He turned pleading eyes to the woman who had given birth to him. She just jerked her thumb at the back door.

In what had to be the one of the loudest and most masterful exercise in vituperation in the history of the English language, my father informed his son he would spend the day adjusting the family auto into a position where then it could be safety removed from the garage. For the record said auto was one of those early 50's tanks made completely of steel and chrome, Chevy automatic six straight block as memory serves.

In later years bro allowed that army basic training and the no-neck monsters who ran it were a month in the country compared to that Saturday morning.

The aftermath -- well, no birds or squirrels entered the yard for weeks, the trees were bent at a 15 degree angle relative to ground zero and we had the only obsidian driveway in town.

[quip]

5. Obsidian driveway? Kewl!

Seriously, great story; that's Reader's Digest material! :thumbsup: :hi:

[sarge43]

7. Yeah. People drove by just to check out that driveway.

Thanks. The old boy was, mmmm, colorful.

[HERVEPA]

2. Nice post .....

Tibbets

[quip]

4. Good one! He just died a few months ago...

[JVS]

3. You mean have they called anyone a Herpe, or do you mean Harlot?

[Iggo]

6. No, but...

...I did read a lot about some guy named "Russ" dropping H-bomb when I was a little kid.