I have a suggestion for companies who use a 'voice recognition' call tree to assist customers

[NMDemDist2]

it should recognize "FUCK" and send you to a live person immediately

:rofl:

[flvegan]

1. Should also recognize "stupid piece of shit system"

and do the same.

[lizziegrace]

2. I usually end up exasperated and yell "human being

NOW". That usually starts the process all over again. :-(

[LeftyMom]

3. A little hint:

Just keep saying "agent" and after two or three cycles of trying to get you to play with the phone tree it'll give up and get you a human being.

[NMDemDist2]

9. or HELP HELP!!!

:rofl:

[skater314159]

4. Fuck Yeah! n/t

[ThomCat]

5. A lot of those systems DO recognize swearing and cursing.

They flag you as an irate customer. :(

[flvegan]

6. A company should realize that in time an "irate customer"

stops being both, depending upon how you deal with their problem.

[ThomCat]

8. That would require that they stop being short sighted.

I doubt that will happen. :(

[MountainLaurel]

16. Been there, done that

A couple years ago we were four hours and a couple hundred miles into our vacation when I realized I had left my wallet on top of my car when I was filling up for gas before we left. At a rest area in NJ, I was trying to contact the credit card company to cancel my card. I got so flustered with the system that I gave up so that Mr. Laurel tried. During that process, he muttered a few choice words while stuck in the voice recognition maze. It clicked him over to an operator almost immediately. She was very friendly though.

[NMDemDist2]

18. they all should do that LOL n/t

[Kajsa]

7. ROFL!

Hell yeah, AZDem!

Now THAT would be an advancement in technology.

:rofl:

:hi:

[av8rdave]

10. They would learn a lot about their customers if those systems had tone of voice recognition

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

11. I loathe those things.

My "favorite" is one with a chirpy female voice that says something like. "OK. I can help you with that. Just let me get some information..." like there was an actual person on the line. Poo. Don't pretend there's actual human involvement. If the system has to be automated just give me a droney computer voice that tells me what to do. DO NOT BULLSHIT ME WITH A FAKE CHIRPY CUTESY PERSON VOICE.

:puke:

[KitchenWitch]

12. Yes!

[quip]

13. For a response to your question, press or say "one". For all other inquiries, hang up and dial:

WHAT? I'm supposed to hang up before I make another call???? What kind of dumbasses do they think we are? :shrug:

[Deja Q]

14. And if they recorded it for "quality service"...

Oh my.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

15. My situation NEVER fits the answer they recognize

Voice recognition system: Welcome to Vulture Credit's new voice operated telephone answering system. Para español, oprima el número dos. Your call is important to us. Please listen carefully and say the letter of one of the following options. Do you want to a) Open an account b) Close your account c) Pay online d) Order a new design for your credit card? To hear this menu again, press "1."

Me: I want to ask why my payment wasn't credited.

Voice recognition system: I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Could you please repeat it?

Me: I...want...to....ask...why...my...payment...wasn't credited.

VRS: I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Could you please repeat it? Do you want to a) Open an account b) Close your account c) Pay online d) Order a new design for your credit card? To hear this menu again, press "1."


Me: (Thinking: "Maybe 'Close your account' will get me to a real human being") B

VRS I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Could you please repeat it? Do you want to a) Open an account b) Close your account c) Pay online d) Order a new design for your credit card? To hear this menu again, press "1."


Me: BEEEEEE

VRS: I'm sorry. I didn't get that. Could you please repeat it? Do you want to a) Open an account b) Close your account c) Pay online d) Order a new design for your credit card? To hear this menu again, press "1."


Me: BBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEE

VRS: I'm sorry. We don't have an option "P." Thank you for calling Customer Service. It's always a pleasure to serve you.

[LynzM]

17. Oh Lydia, you nailed it.

UGH. I loathe those systems! Especially the:

"Please say the name of the state you're calling from."

"Connecticut"

"You're calling from... Con-nett-ih-cut. Is that correct? Say 'Yes' or Press 1 if this is correct, Say 'No' or Press 2 to try again."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand. You're calling from... Con-nett-ih-cut. Is that correct? Say 'Yes' or Press 1 if this is correct, Say 'No' or Press 2 to try again."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, I didn't understand. You're calling from... Con-nett-ih-cut. Is that correct? Say 'Yes' or Press 1 if this is correct, Say 'No' or Press 2 to try again."

:banghead: What's up with a system that can understand "Connecticut," but can't differentiate Yes from No?

[Fire Walk With Me]

19. Do celebrities have problems with voice recognition systems?

Tom Waits: Rah Hnnn duFoma gestin drahom.
Sylvester Stallone: Fubda lulla rahoo badib.
Bob Dylan: Wreh hunnnn da fah wee-yoh mehrah.

:shrug:

[NMDemDist2]

21. ROFL

:yourock:

[harmonicon]

20. yeah, they suck

since moving to the UK last year I've had to deal with a few them - it never works - the systems just don't understand my accent.... or maybe they just suck and don't work for anyone. I always have to wait on the line and talk to real person (the people never have a problem with my accent - even the ones in India).