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Ash Wednesday match game: "Petunia was so penitent, even her ____ prayed."

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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 12:56 PM
Original message
Ash Wednesday match game: "Petunia was so penitent, even her ____ prayed."
10 words or more in the blank space.

The more hilariously bloody and violent and utterly against the spirit of Ash Wednesday, the better.

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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:00 PM
Response to Original message
1. Corn flakes.
Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes. Corn flakes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oD9P60KTvsg
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:05 PM
Response to Original message
2. aerosolized pig brain matter.
Take that, Lent.
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krispos42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:09 PM
Response to Original message
3. ...pretty, pink, pearly, perfumed, prong-perferring partially-parted private parts...
How's that?

:hide:
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Donk Yore Donating Member (632 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:14 PM
Response to Original message
4. alter ego "Spitunia", who was filled with rage and a need for revenge
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
5. johns
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
6. I will pray for you.
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 01:32 PM
Response to Original message
7. Petunia
"Petunia was so penitent, even her hard moldy disgusting looking ,extremely graphic humungous double bouncy breasts____ prayed."
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montanto Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
8. Jesus wept, not another "Petunia prayed" thread!!
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 02:47 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. That doesn't fit in the blank at all.
:shrug:

Well, not and still make sense, that is.
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Burma Jones Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 02:50 PM
Response to Original message
10. goat, a pliant and gracious love slave to Father Rabinowitz
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AwakeAtLast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 03:00 PM
Response to Original message
11. Mantis
;)
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
12. amazing how it's so fucking difficult to follow simple directions
goddamn


:eyes:
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 03:30 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. As if anyone pays attention to Rabrrrrrr dictates.
:eyes:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 09:26 PM
Response to Original message
14. this is actually more psychotic than funny, but it's what came out of my fingers, so here
half-brother, Charlie Manson, currently serving multiple life sentences reached out to her as part of an agreement of a lesser sentence in exchange for less killing.

Petunia had been wronged by a cheap tuxedo-clad suitor for the last time. It wasn't her fault she had been stood up for so many dates. The sophomore prom which college junior had invited her to only resulted in him winning the grand 'hog night' prize. Her embarrassment and humiliation didn't stop her, she was a sweet girl. Then came the Junior prom, where she thought she had a lock on Homecoming Queen. Those dreams were also shattered when it turned out that her suitor had in fact arranged for famous porn star Peter North, along with 2 other guys to show up at her house in a limo to shoot a "Bridal Bukkake 6" scene. The uncomfortable moment where her face was jizzed upon by North and his crew and a forth man, her own father, from four different angles at once, moments after she walked down the stairs to no date, no ride, no prom didn't phase her.

Petunia took it all in stride. Petunia was a good Catholic girl.

After she excused herself, and kindly asked that the cameras stop rolling, she made her way to the bathroom. There, she looked deep into the mirror, and saw someone else.

No longer was Petunia staring back, behind the semen-encrusted cheeks, staring back at her was Penelope. Penelope reached down and grabbed a baby wipe, and cleaned herself off. Penelope found Petunia's favorite nail clippers and smiled.

Penelope had a different approach. She walked out the bathroom and saw the 4 male scumbags reclining. She extended a finger towards the first, then motioned with her finger that he was going to get a BJ. That fool got up and followed her into Petunia's bedroom. Pushing her tits up against him, Penelope got him to drop his pants down, and she played with his semi-erect cock just long enough to slip the nail clippers underneath the shaft. Suddenly standing up and holding his mouth shut, she cut through the flesh, eventually removing his penis. After he bled out, she shoved his limp cock into his mouth and slid the body into the bathroom.

With a sly smile, she beckoned to the next person, again with her sly "blowjob" indication. Again, the raping bastard fell for it, and he was quickly dispatched. It's not often that someone is choked to death with long hair, but this victim was too busy second-guessing his recent choices to wonder if he was the first.

The third guy didn't even have a chance. Penelope walked out of her bedroom with her father's fully automatic shotgun, and tore him to pieces. He gurgled some kind of mumbojumbo, but nobody could hear from the ringing in the ears. The only living things left were Penelope and her father. She motioned for him to put his shoes on. When he pleaded for his life, she shot his foot off. He screamed, a lot. After he was done complaining about his sudden loss of his foot, she shot off his right hand and motioned towards the car.

At shotgun-point, she strapped him into the passenger's seat, and emptied a 5 gallon can of gasoline in the compartment. Penelope set the car rolling down their driveway, and tossed a road flare inside. The car burst into flames, and as it rolled away towards the trees her father yelled out "You were adopted!".

Upon hearing this, Petunia
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 09:49 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Rolling my ass off laughing!
Edited on Wed Feb-06-08 09:56 PM by Rabrrrrrr
:rofl:

FANTASTIC!

:thumbsup:





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rurallib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 10:12 PM
Response to Original message
16. farting butthole
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
17. Rabrrrrr you need more than prayers.
Edited on Wed Feb-06-08 10:32 PM by redwitch
You need an exorcism!

I believe DS1 has the final word in this thread!


Edited to add the last r.
And one more r.
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meow2u3 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
18. Ashes
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-06-08 11:21 PM
Response to Original message
19. ...Father Confessor stopped what he was doing with the altar boy and...
Edited on Wed Feb-06-08 11:21 PM by WinkyDink
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