Have I mentioned that I'm an idiot?

[Connonym]

A while back I posted about how my ex had called me on Xmas and asked for us to try again. Against my better judgment, against a lot of good advice from you guys, I agreed. What a fucking mistake. I'm so angry with myself for making myself vulnerable to getting hurt again. The only thing worse than getting hurt is getting hurt because you're a dumb ass. I hate when I'm a dumb ass. My penance is admitting it in front of you all. Hopefully that will help clear the fury out of my system.

[Heidi]

1. You're not a dumbass.

Sounds like you were hopeful and possibly willing to forgive and keep trying. That's not a crime. :hug:

[DarkTirade]

3. In my experience, that's often the definition of being a dumbass.

But sometimes we just have to make our mistakes to learn from 'em. I've done the exact same thing myself. More than once.

[DarkTirade]

13. And when I say 'more than once' I mean more than once with the SAME PERSON. :P

THAT was a dumbass move on my part. You'd think I would have learned after the first time we broke up and got back together....

[harmonicon]

4. true

My girlfriend and I broke up last year for all of about a month. Getting ahold of her and asking if we could work things out was one of the hardest and greatest things I've ever done. I would feel like a real dumbass if I hadn't tried.

[Callalily]

2. Please don't be

so hard on yourself. We're all vulnerable!

Lesson learned. Now it's time to take care of yourself.

Sending :hug: :hug: :hug:

[ThomCat]

5. You were not dumb. Just hopeful.

There's nothing wrong with hope.

I'm sorry it's turning out bad again. :(

:hug:

[Arkansas Granny]

6. Lighten up on yourself. If you hadn't given it another try, you would

have wondered for a long time if you had done the right thing by not trying again to make it work. Now you know will have no doubts. I'd wager that many of us here have done the same thing. I'm sorry you feel so bad.

[Solon]

7. Don't beat yourself up over it, you aren't an idiot...

:hug:

[LynneSin]

8. Go hang out in GD:P for about 2 hours

trust me, in about one hour you'll realize you're not an idiot

[eyepaddle]

9. Ah hell, I'm sorry to hear about that.

:(

There's nothing magical I can say to make you realize that you aren't dumb, but that doesn't change the fact that you ain't dumb!

I tend to be really hard on myself in similar situations, I eventually pull out of my self-loathing. I hope you do that too, and soon. :hug:

[leftofthedial]

10. no

but some of us were talking about it . . .

you can't go back.

[SacredCow]

11. No worries....

You're certainly not alone in hoping that someone you care for has changed for the better. Give yourself some time to recover from the experience and move on. The right person IS out there!

[marzipanni]

12. There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee

http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/bushvideos/youtube/bushfoolme.htm
At least your mistake didn't hurt anyone else. :hug:

[mentalsolstice]

14. The holidays are always an especially vulnerable time.

New mistake (albeit with same person), new lesson learned.

[Westegg]

15. If you keep beating yourself up...

...you'll start thinking of yourself as someone who always makes mistakes, and thus you'll be more likely to make the same mistakes again. Perverse, maybe-- but that's human nature.

So. You tried it (against your "better judgment") and it predictably failed. So learn from that and move on, and learn to trust what Lincoln called "the better angels of our nature." You've got them. We all do.

Honesty in a public forum is a strong signal that you don't want to repeat the error. Anger gets you exactly nowhere. Let it out. Whatever that takes. But don't swell on past mistakes. As my friend used to tell me all the time, "The past is SO over."