Guys I need some vibes.

[Chovexani]

On the way to work today, I was sitting at the bus stop and a car pulled around. The guy stared dead at me in a really creepy fashion and he looked JUST LIKE my crazy, abusive ex. The one who I "dated" when I was 14 and he was twice my age. I've thought he was dead for the last 9 years or so, because he was that self-destructive and suicidal. The car was exactly the kind of beater he would drive, too.

Logic is telling me there's no way he could have found me out here but I am SO fucking scared. I've had two panic attacks and I missed two of my phone appointments at work because I can't focus.

Please send vibes. :scared:

[DarkTirade]

1. Just remember: if all else fails, knee to the nuts.

We're here for ya. :hug:

[Chovexani]

3. Thanks

I keep telling myself I'm just being paranoid but I can't shake it.

[DarkTirade]

13. You saw something rather jarring and unexpected

I wouldn't call a reaction to that paranoid. :hug:

[Redstone]

21. Yes. And if possible, go for the eyes.

Redstone

[DarkTirade]

22. Eyes are a little harder to get to

but I've always been a fan of the 'tiger claw' move, where it LOOKS like you're going for the eyes, but you're actually smashing their nose in with the hell of your hand. :evilgrin:

Floating ribs and the inside of the thigh are good for getting somebody to back the hell away and/or fall on their ass.

But I think this conversation is rather moot, since I seem to recall chovexani mentioning something about taking karate if I recall correctly. So she probably already knows the right spots to hit, and how best to hit them.

[Chovexani]

27. I fucked a mugger up with a pen cap once

Ah the joys of pressure points. :D

I'd be more worried if he has a gun. He never really was into them but he's got a family of redneck gun nuts so he's got easy access.

A friend of mine is "reverse" stalking him for me just to double check. She can find damn near anyone, too.

[DarkTirade]

31. Well, I hope she finds that he's long gone

in one way or another.

And I wish I coulda seen the look on that mugger's face. :)

[Sugar Smack]

2. (((((( Chovexani ))))))

Good vibes to you. Oh, God that is truly scary stuff. That would give me panic attacks, too, the likes of which I could never forget. I trust you'll tell everyone you work with, everyone you know about this. Even if you think it makes you sound crazy.

You seem to be a woman who knows herself and respects herself. I wish you the very best. :hug:

[Chovexani]

6. Thank you sweetie

I already told my friends that live around the corner and my friends at work. The really scary thing is this happened down the street from my complex, and my job.

I've grown a lot since then...therapy and meds and things have helped. I thought I was okay, I haven't thought about him or what he did in a very long time. It was like seeing a ghost and I'm a mess now.

I guess being a survivor means even if it's years later and you've gotten stronger and "gotten over it", you never really do. :(

[Sugar Smack]

10. That's the thing, that shit's scary, and even when you grow up & out,

when you see a "ghost" like that, your instincts kick in. I know- being "okay" & "getting over it" kind of seem to flee from your experience. Hey, I am SO glad you told everyone. You are facing your fears in the strongest and most mature way possible.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[racaulk]

4. You're definitely getting vibes from me, Chovexani!

If your logic is telling you that it is unlikely that he found you where you currently live, then the guy you saw this morning was probably not him. Please try to let this roll off of your back and not bother you.

But just to be on the safe side, try alternating your route to work for the next week or so and see if you see him again. Even if it involves walking a couple of blocks to catch a different bus, or the same bus at a different bus stop, it may be worth it for your peace of mind. If you see him again, then you may have a problem. If not, then I think it would be safe to say that what happened to you this morning was a coincidence.

Also, is there any way you can find out for certain whether or not he has died? Like some Department of Vital Records where you both used to live? I don't know if you could access that information, but it may be worth a shot.

Again, please don't let this bother you. Keep your chin up.

:pals:

[Chovexani]

20. That's a good idea

I didn't think of that, I will check a couple of places. It's a long story but I'm not sure where he ended up after he got out of Club Fed, I suspected he went back home to Tulsa so I will do some looking.

One of my friends at work offered to give me rides to and from work. He's a sweetheart.

[SPKrazy]

5. The only thing I can say

is keep in mind 911, and you are older and stronger than the 14 year old was... don't let the bastid scare you...

Its prolly not even him..

:hug:

[AlCzervik]

7. Good vibes from me.

:hug:

and hopefully it's just someone who looks like him.

[skygazer]

8. Many, many powerful vibes to you

Flashback are terribly frightening and whether its illogical or not to think it was him, erring on the side of caution is never a bad idea.

Hang in there and be careful. :hug:

[NewJeffCT]

9. sorry to hear about your experience

good vibes being sent your way.

[supernova]

11. Hugs Chovexani

:hug:

I'd be scared too if I were you. :hug:

Remember, it's the past. The past can't hurt you if you recognize it for what it is.

That and, don't go out alone for the next few days. Take a buddy w/ you if at all possible, esp at night. At least until you can confirm or deny your suspicions.

I'd also do any spiritual practices you think might be appropriate. It might help you recenter yourself. :hug:

[Bake]

12. Mace. And don't be afraid to use it.

If it were me, I'd have a handgun, but that's not for everybody. And just be aware of your surroundings at all times.

Good thoughts.

Bake

[puerco-bellies]

23. I would concur with dbaker41, but..

Don't carry a gun unless you can/would use it if threatened.

[Chovexani]

26. Guns and me totally don't mix

I still have pepper spray on my keychain though, from when I would come home late on the subway back east.

[Bake]

30. Speaking of keyrings ...

If you can make a fist and slip a key or two between your fingers, that makes an excellent weapon. You can definitely slash a face or poke an eye with that.

Again, any weapon is only as good as your ability and resolve to use it. The best advice I can give is to be aware of your surroundings and BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

Bake

[Chovexani]

33. Thanks. I used a pen cap once to fend off a mugger.

I can get creative, it's all about where you hit them. :D

Thank you for the advice. I think I've let the fact that I moved to a relatively quiet city take my guard down. I'm not nearly as alert as I was back home, and this was a good reminder.

[Bake]

28. I absolutely agree. Don't have one unless you can and WILL use it.

Bake

[IntravenousDemilo]

14. For you...

Other than that, yes, what Dark Tirade said. Also, it might ease your mind if you did a "US Search" thing to find out exactly where your ex is living, if at all.

[Gormy Cuss]

15. What a crappy way to start the day.

Vibes and hugs for you. :hug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. hugs.

:hug: all my best

[applegrove]

17. Sending you vibes.

[bigwillq]

18. Sending out my best vibes.

:hug: Hope he is dead. :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

19. Oh yeah. Vibes forthcoming

I had a guy stalking me for years. It is scary as hell.

[Withywindle]

24. Vibes aplenty!

That is scary. :scared:

I hope it wasn't him. But I definitely agree about varying your route and all that, and being alert.

Do you live alone? When the panic attacks come, don't be ashamed to ask a friend to stay over or let you stay over at their place. It can really help to have people around you who know what's going on.

Send the ass-kicking, sharp spikes on the aura kind of vibes.

[Chovexani]

29. That's some good juju

Thanks hon. :hug:

I live alone, but I have friends right around the corner. Lots of offers of hugs and safe space today.

I had no idea people were so concerned about me. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise.

[lightningandsnow]

25. Aww....

Sending lots of vibes to you, my dear.

[Parche]

32. big hug

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hi:

[Chovexani]

34. Thank you so much for the advice and the kind words everyone

I had no idea I knew so many Jack Bauers! :D

I am feeling a lot better now. So far searches by some folks I know haven't turned up anything on him in this area but I am still being careful.

Thank you. :grouphug:

[Bunny]

35. I'm glad you're feeling better, hon.

:hug: