Well it looks like I won't graduate in May

[alarimer]

I am in my 7th year of grad school (very part-time) and I was really, really hoping to be finished this semester but it looks I can't quite do it. I have yet to finish a draft of my thesis and the deadline for defending is March 7. I just can't make it. I really, really want this over with. My dad is going to be so pissed at me. They wanted to come from graduation in May. I really, really hope they haven't bought plane tickets yet or he will be really pissed. I'm almost afraid to tell them. I guess they could come anyway and not come in August (and really, who the hell wants to visit Texas in August, even for a graduation).

Today sucks.

[Breeze54]

1. What's holding you up?

:hug:

Spend less time on DU and get the outline done!! ;)

[alarimer]

2. That's the problem right there!

I have been a bit of a procrastinator. But I really thought I could do this. The last few months have been hellishly stressful and I need that to be over.

[Breeze54]

3. I sympathize about the stress but

that is probably adding to your stress, don't you think? :shrug:

I've been procrastinating on some essential things myself and finally took a first step today.

I plan to take another tomorrow, and I will be buckling down and getting to work on Saturday morning.

I have no choice. My deadline is March 1st. :( I'm freaking out too but I have to do it! So?

I'm disconnecting my computer that morning too (maybe) and packing it up... It'll be hard but I have no choice.

You should just shut off the computer Sat. morning, shut off the phone, lock yourself in a room and get busy. :hug:

[alarimer]

4. Saturday I actually have to work.

Sunday though I will do that. I just can't seem to concentrate on anything. I go to the library and I can't stay there for more than an hour at a time- I get so distracted and restless.

[Breeze54]

5. There you go! - You now have a plan!

:hug:

Sunday morning it is!! I'm very proud of you! :D

You can do it!!!!

PS. Have you been tested for ADD?

I think that may be part of my problem and also part of my problem is fear of the unknown.

Maybe you're afraid of success? :shrug:

As that sneaker Co. says... Just Do It!! :D

Good first step... you made a commitment. :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[alarimer]

6. Well I don't think it's ADD

I am a perfectionist and sometimes it is just hard to get started doing things for fear that it won't be perfect or whatever.

[Breeze54]

7. Well then, that

sounds like fear of success... AKA Perfectionism

I seem to have some of those qualities myself. :P

And I have a million excuses why I can't do some things initially

but then there comes a time that I just have to go for it!

I am forced to act! I hate it but that's the way it's been for me too.

I hope you get there. Maybe if you do the outline in 15 minute increments,

take a 5 minute break and then go back for another 15 minutes, etc...

Do you think that would help you get it done?

[alarimer]

11. The weird thing is that I am scared what my dad will think about this

Seriously, every phone call he badgers me to get finished. Not that he has anything to do with it; I've paid my own way.

Just one more in a long line of disappointments by me I guess. I can't believe I still care what he thinks.

[Breeze54]

12. You are rebelling by not getting it done. Perfectly normal.

You are reacting subconsciously to his bullying.... imho

and therefore resisting his bullying by not performing!

I have had the same reactions when I was pushed by my parents and others.

But as I grew older, I realized my resistance was hurting ME.... not them.

The best pay back is to finish the job and reap the rewards!

Have you thought about changing your phone number?

Tell him that he can only contact you with e-mail from now on because you have work to do. ;)

Then finish that outline and graduate (in spite of him) and move on to your career! ;)

Success is THE best revenge. :hug:

[Adsos Letter]

8. Man do I know that albatross...

to do your absolute best is the goal; but perfection cannot be met.

I, too, am working on a graduate degree, and my stress is coming from deciding whether to (a) finish a thesis I am well along on, or (b) can the thesis and go for the comprehensive exams, which would make several other options more realistic.

As the other poster has noted: set yer goal, get off the 'puter and put that time into something like exercise or meditation (or both) and just do it...we know you can.

:thumbsup:

[spongebobsquareshirt]

9. You are still young

focus on your goals and you will achieve them.
Cheers.

[alarimer]

10. not that young LOL

thanks, though.

How can I be 39 years old and still caring about not pissing my dad off? Seriously that is my biggest concern with this. He mentions how I have to get on the ball in nearly ever phone call.

[Breeze54]

13. Exactly... you are not getting any younger either.

"How can I be 39 years old and still caring about not pissing my dad off?"

We ALL do that!!! That's life, kiddo. ;)

You need to shut him out and do it for yourself and NOT him!

He is getting old and is worried about you.
He's frustrated that you haven't graduated yet.
He's concerned you will not be able to care for yourself after he's gone....


.... maybe? He wants you to be happy? :shrug:

Time to grow up and just do it.