I'm never loaning anyone any money again

[Droopy]

Never. You'd think a good friend would get the money back to you like he said he would, but it's been two months and I know he's had at least enough money to make payments on it. I lost a good friend several years ago because of this. He was a room mate and I paid his half of the rent for three months because he was short on cash. I found out, $600 later, that he was short on cash because he had developed a taste for cocaine. I gave him the boot and had to write of the money at a time when I was working for $7.50 an hour.

I kept the first guy out of jail. He owed money on past due child support. Next time he's going to jail unless he gets this money back to me.

Maybe I should see a psychologist about this to see why I hang around losers.

[originalpckelly]

1. NEVER but NEVER loan money to family or friends.

I hate loans, people never seem to pay you back. If you're going to give someone money, and you don't have a contract or a form of collateral, don't even think about it. You should only think of it as a gift.

There is no reason this guy should pay you back, save for the loss of your friendship, which, if he's a fucker enough not to cough up on time, he doesn't value much anyway.

[redqueen]

2. Never lend... give or don't. (nt)

[CreekDog]

3. I agree with this approach

the worst thing is when a friend "avoids" you because they owe you money, even if you never ask for it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. my grandad used to say

i had my money and my friend
i lent my money to my friend
i lost my money and my friend

when we were young he used to say this a lot and used to say give your friends money if you have excess but do not loan it to them

sorry you have a stinker friend

[AlCzervik]

5. i've loaned money to a certain friend in the past, i always figure it as a gift.

she pays me back then great, she doesn't, oh well.

Loaning money to friends and family is generally never a good idea. Never give if you're counting on the money to be repaid as a way of paying your own bills.

[pitohui]

12. if you have to keep giving this friend "gifts" it's time to ask yourself why you have to buy her

it sounds like this person is hitting you up repeatedly, and even if you are philosophical and don't expect the money to be paid back, you are still being hit up by money and let's be real

this person is no longer a friend, you are paying to have this person in your life

try saying "no, i can't make any more loans or gifts of cash" and see how often this person hangs around

anyone who asks me for money is not looking at me as a friend or family member, they are looking at me as a source of easy cash, and you know what? it's an insult to be considered that stupid

your "friend" disrespects you whatever mental tricks you play to make it allright that she doesn't pay you back

[AlCzervik]

19. i've loaned her money twice in 7 years, i wouldn't call that "Buying" her.

but thanks so much for totally jumping to conclusions.

[karmaqueen]

6. William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

I always find that the person who owes the money turns on the lender.... Had it happen and learned my lesson too!

[suninvited]

7. Talk to Lucy

[Inchworm]

8. Dang, Droopy- you got that $20 you owe me?

I am going through the same shit with my brother. Well, not the coke but the stupidity.

He owes me about $1200. That's hella to me. (very hella) So, he drives down to FL and borrows more $$ off someone else. I'm thinking he'll try to catch up with me a little. You know.. since I basically paid for his trip to FL.

Nope, Fed Ex woke me up today dropping off a package. I guess it was an engagement ring he bought.

:wow:

As I eat beans...

:banghead:

[Droopy]

9. That's a lot of dough to me, too

I hope we both get our money back, but I don't think we can count on it. We're nice folks, you and I, Inchworm. So nice that we even let people take advantage of us. :(

[originalpckelly]

11. You don't want to be the drunk woman with the gimpy leg that everyone takes advantage of at the bar.

You might consider some type of small claims court, though, I don't know the laws of your area, but it might be possible to recoup some of the lost money.

[Droopy]

13. I'm not going to take him to court

But I've learned an important lesson and it might be a good value in the long run. The guy owed $280 in past child support. I guess if he isn't man enough to give the money to his daughter he probably won't be giving it to me either.

[originalpckelly]

14. Grr!

:hug:

People need hugs sometimes, you definitely are a nice person to put up with that!

[Inchworm]

15. Yup- I've been a doormat to a few it seems

I thought I grew out of it, but noooooo :D

I'll keep on pluggin.

Good luck getting yours back too.

:hi:

[pitohui]

10. you've made a good decision

don't be like me and wait until you've lost thousands to wise up

once someone has asked to borrow money from you, the friendship is over, and you are no longer viewed as an equal but as a source of cash

i've never had this turn out well

i even had one friend who finally did return the money (YEARS later) but it was too late, he'd spent years avoiding me and we simply don't have the easy friendship any more it's broken, in fact, we've never seen each other again, the money just came in the mail one day

and the others? forget it, they're gone, the money is gone

the only good argument to be made for lending money is the old poker player's advice: i loaned him 20 bucks because i was tired of him nagging me to loan him money and i knew if i did that he'd start avoiding me so i wouldn't ask for the 20 bucks back

that trick does seem to work, but i say why pay even 20 bucks to end a friendship, you can ignore someone and stop taking their calls or chatting with them for free just by standing strong and being a little snooty

[TK421]

16. I was going to ask you for a twenty but....oh, never mind

:(

[rug]

17. .

[TZ]

18. I learned that the hard way with my crazy sister

I eventually got the $1,000 back I loaned her awhile ago. BUT when my mom found some hidden money from my grandfather she got my "share" as a loan and that's $600 I will probably never even HEAR about let alone see again:banghead: