What is the worst excuse you have ever heard?

[datasuspect]

"I didn't do nothin'"

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. blu

what a load of crap

[datasuspect]

2. Little Boy Blew

he needed the money

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. he went down

for the money

[hellbound-liberal]

10. Thank you Andrew Dice Clay!

[Heidi]

4. "I dunno." (nt)

[unsavedtrash]

5. "I'm a full time grad student! I can't afford these library fines! Do you think it is fair to

make a full time grad student get a job when I am working on my masters!"

My answer- "I work 40 hours a week, and make A's in my masters program. You are responsible for your library fines."

[petronius]

9. Another school-related one

When askng for an extension on a paper a full two weeks before the due date: "The night before the paper is due is my 21st birthday, and I'll be too hammered to write it. Can I turn it in late?"

Response: "Ummm, what? You know you're allowed to do these earlier than the day they're due, right?"

[triguy46]

6. This pretty good: "I got busy and forgot" Fmr OK Speaker Lance Cargill

OKLAHOMA CITY -- Former House Speaker Lance Cargill is planning to mail out 6,000 letters -- at state expense -- to apologize to his constituents for failing to pay his taxes on time. .... In a copy of the letter obtained by the Tulsa World, Cargill said when he got busy with House leadership duties, "regrettably, I often put my personal business and finances on the back burner."

In addition, Cargill, R-Harrah, was late six years in a row in paying the property taxes on his Harrah law office.

[av8rdave]

7. Straight from the lips of my first wife:

"I wasn't lying. I was just saying what needed to be said at the time."

Top that!

[Seeking Serenity]

8. It's not my fault. I was drunk.

I wish I had a dime for every time I'd heard that when I was in colege.

[KansDem]

11. "I meant to call (or write) but I've been *sooooo* busy!"

Heard that more times than I care to remember.

Also...
"I would've called but I lost your number!"--Yeah? Ever hear of the phone book?

These two I heard quite often when I was dating.

[Jade Fox]

12. Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

Then why did they need the gun? Could they have done just as much damage empty handed?

[Road Scholar]

17. Monkies could kill people if they had guns.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[mulsh]

13. "I didn't enjoy it....um I don't remember it."

the excuse came up because he got pissed at me for bullshitting about something and went on a spirited diatribe about "personal honesty" I listened to him for about 5 minutes before hitting him with " oh yea speaking of personal honesty why is you never told me about the three times you fucked my girlfriend?"

complicated story but my musical partner, when I finally told him I knew that he had been screwing my long time girlfriend first said, " I didn't enjoy it." I replied "neither did she." He then said, "um I don't remember it."

for me the funny part was that the screwing had been done years before this conversation, my girlfriend had always wanted to boff my partner and I always told her she should if she got a chance. she and I were pretty honest about screwing others and didn't play games with eachother. when it happened I wasn't angry or hurt and my girlfriend banged him a couple of times before moving on.She told me about it shortly after the first time
she & I are still friends, he & I are still musical partners. he lives in fear of her and she & I & my wife think the situation is funny. for some reason he hasn't brought up "personal honesty" with me ever since.

[noamnety]

14. 9/11. (nt)

[LostInAnomie]

15. "Oh, well... you didn't say we couldn't do that."

Said to me by a student after I busted him for plagiarizing.

[deucemagnet]

16. "I have a wide stance." n/t

[Orsino]

18. "He gassed his own people." n/t

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. 'Cause, I said so.

:wtf: