I swear I'm going to write a book. This was a first for a wedding.

[Pacifist Patriot]

As the officiant I see lots of funny stuff. And sometimes some not so funny stuff. Tonight was the very first time I have had the cops called out to a wedding. Before the ceremony started! Forget about a reception getting out of hand. Fortunately the crazy-ass inebriated whacked out guest was successfully removed from the equation before we started, but boy was that strange. I think I prefer the funny stuff. Anyone want to share some funny wedding stories? Or is it too late on a Friday night?

[AlCzervik]

1. i have one about my own wedding, the bridesmaids and i were upstairs waiting

to get the nod so we were all chatting and my friend Trisha says to me, "Wow, does this bow make my ass look huge?" so of course we were all "No, your ass looks just fine". Right after that i heard some rather loud laughing, turns out the room we were in had like an intercom/mic thingy to record the ceremony and it was on and the entire congregation including the minister heard the whole back and forth.

[Pacifist Patriot]

2. LOL! As the minister I'd have been so tempted to slide something into the...

vows about "in times of huge asses and in times of tiny asses."

I often have irreverent thoughts like that. I swear one of these days instead of prompting, "as I place this ring on your finger..." I'm going to say, "as I JAM this ring on your finger..."

[RFKHumphreyObama]

3. There was this one wedding my parents attended

for some mutual friends who were getting married. The groom had hired an expensive suit for the wedding and all went to plan until, between the time of the ceremony and the reception, the photographer requested that the newly married couple pose for some pictures by the water. The groom had a reputation for being quite a clown and was joking around and being silly while posing for the photographs. Unfortunately for him, as a consequence of his behavior, he lost his balance and tumbled into the water, expensive suit and all. So he ended up attending the reception in casual clothing while all the guests had a good laugh as he presumably rather sheepishly had to explain what had happened

[LeftyMom]

4. My cousin's priest read the wrong passages.

She's pretty liberated (at least by enormous Catholic wedding standards, nobody "gave her away" or any nonsense like that) and then all the sudden he's reading the bit about Adam's rib and she has this :wtf: look on her face. Later he read some native american themed thing, and she's hungarian and her husband's family's really really polish, so then we knew he was reading somebody else's wedding service.

She was not so pleased. I don't think her husband even noticed, he was really nervous.

[LibertyLover]

5. At the wedding of one of my cousins, the bride and groom

had written the ceremony. It went on, and on, and on, with lots of readings that were special to the couple, to their parents, to their dogs, to their . . . well, you get the picture. The church was freezing and the guests were getting restless - especially those of us on the bride's side of the family because the next weekend we all had to be down in Maryland for another cousin's wedding. Anyway the ceremony, which had been encapsulated within a mass finally ended after a good 2 and a half hours. The priest celebrating the mass was a cousin of the groom. He ended the service with: "This mass and this marriage are ended." My mother and I were cracking up; the rest of the family was just sooooo glad it was finally over. The marriage lasted about 20 years, but it ended when the groom decided to move back to his parents' house on Long Island - a 1920s mansion. It was quite lovely, but really needed a lot of work. The bride, my cousin, was less than thrilled, especially since it meant that she had to live with her in-laws and wasn't consulted about the move. The marriage went belly up shortly thereafter.