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Edited on Wed Feb-27-08 11:56 AM by dicksteele
I was working "power line construction" back then,
and we were on a job in the northwest corner of the state...
It's pretty sparsely populated up there; it was almost a 30
minute drive from our motel to our "base of operations", a wide spot
along the road where we parked our trucks and our material trailer.
So we got up, ate breakfast at the only restaurant in town, and headed
to the jobsite just as the sun was coming up.
By the time I had loaded the day's material onto my line truck,
the breakfast coffee was having an effect, so I grabbed a roll of
toilet paper and headed across the road into the woods.
It was all "woods" along that road. But, directly across from our
parking spot, there was a clearing about 20 yards from the highway.
At some point, someone had cut down all the trees in an area about
100 feet square, and then done nothing else with the land.
It was a big square full of waist-high grass, just far enough off the road
that I could "drop trou" without fear of blinding any passing motorists
with the glare from my fishbelly-white butt. FINE pooping country!
Did I mention that I had just seen "Jurassic Park"?
You remember that scene where Wayne Knight (NEWMAN! :grr:)
is confronted by the TINY dinosaurs? Hold that scene in your
head as I describe what happened next.
So, it's a beautiful morning, the sun is shining obliquely through the trees
as I wade through the tall, rustling grass...
And, just about when my pants are around my knees, I notice that
the grass is still RUSTLING, even though I'm no longer walking through it.
And, just as I'm wondering why that might be... something dark, sleek,
and vaguely bird-shaped suddenly ZOOMS through the grass, mere inches from my right leg.
Then another zooms past my left leg...and all the grass around me starts
shaking like it's being beaten with sticks as DOZENS of the small dark
shapes start zooming about me in all directions, each one moving too fast to
get a good look at.
And then, to make matters worse, suddenly a HUGE object went "whooshing" past
my head...followed by another, followed by SEVERAL. They blotted out the sun,
and were deliberately swooping close enough to muss my hair.
At that point, my "combat training" (grade school recess) kicked in.
I let go of my pants, and crouched down in an upright fetal position,
with my hands across my face.
I peeked through my fingers just in time to see the last of the flying things
enter the woods at the far side of the clearing...and then I understood.
Turkeys. They were turkeys.
I had accidentally wandered into a HUGE flock of wild turkeys.
The adolescents were twice the size of chickens, but still not
able to fly, so they had been sleeping in the tall grass
while the adults slept above them on the low branches of
the nearest trees.
I had walked into the middle of their BED, so they ran like hell
while the adults SWOOPED at my head as a friendly warning to
stop disturbing their babies.
Turkeys. Lots of them.
Not dinosaurs, not anything threatening or even SPECIAL.
Just a whole big bunch of turkeys.
So, I laughed at myself and began to "go about my business", when
I was interrupted 30 seconds later by all of my crew members, who
had come running into the woods carrying a motley assortment
of makeshift weapons- framing hammers, "straight sticks", and
3-ton chain hoists.
Apparently, I had been so distracted by my interaction
with that flock of turkeys that I hadn't noticed that
someone else in that patch of woods had been screaming
"OhGod OhGod OhGod" at the top of his lungs.
We never did find him, whoever he was. :eyes:
Edited for geographical correctness- I originally said "northeast PA"
and that was just the dumbest BrainFart I've EVER had!
No real Pennsylvanian native ever heads northeast, for any reason.
It's a FACT.
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