How do I get people to stop using the words "folks" and "gals"?

[LisaM]

Seriously, I can't take it. I work with a very nice woman who is always trying to rouse us to action by saying things like, "Okay, folks, we need to work together on this!"

It drives me CRAZY.

I don't like being called "folks" and I also don't like being called a gal, and I don't know how to stop it.

What do I do?

[supernova]

1. My SiL uses "gal"

and I find it beyond irritating. She's from the Chicago area, so I guess it's a midwest thing?

I'm not a "gal." I'm a woman. Or "lady" even.

But "gal" just sounds so crass to me.

"Folks" is much easier to take somehow since it isn't gender specific.

[MissMillie]

2. yep.

I use "folks" all the time... because guys and gals is too informal and ladies and gentlemen is too formal.

[Iris]

53. Yeah - folks is better than gals, but gals is better than "females"

I HATE when people use that term when they are talking about women.

[Pacifist Patriot]

3. Pull her aside and very gently let her know that her word choice...

could be improved if she wishes to change other's perception of her professionalism. I had someone do that for me once and while it stung at the time, upon reflection it made a lot of sense and allowed me to grow and change as a professional woman. I have always thought well of the person who drew up the courage to have that difficult conversation with me.

[LisaM]

4. Well she's kind of a boss, PLUS I like her

Today she said she'd been "drug" into a meeting. People out here say that a lot.

[Pacifist Patriot]

6. The woman who spoke to me reported to me.

[Hand]

39. Oh. Well, I guess "Belt them in the mouth" is out, then. nt

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. 'Professionalism' is crap

"Professionalism" gave us crap like "It is what it is," "Team player," "Work smarter, not harder," "At the end of the day," "That's an excuse, not a reason" and other crap that's condescending and/or just plain crap.

"Professionals" need to learn how to communicate with others in a way that makes them feel comfortable and not like they're peons who were excluded from the professionalism seminars where crap such as the above is taught.

[Pacifist Patriot]

15. Sorry, but the phrases you list are not professionalism in my book.

That's Dilbertism.

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. They're what pass for 'professionalism' anymore

By the way — ever notice that when people say "Sorry" or "I hate to tell you this, but..." before correcting you, they usually don't mean it?

:)

[Pacifist Patriot]

24. You really want to be pissed off, don't you?

;)

I am sorry that this is a difficult subject for you. And I'm sorry that we are not able to see some kind of agreement on this. Ha! :)

The types of phrases you talk about smack of condescension and thoughtlessness every bit as much as what the OP is asking about. At least in my opinion. So if that is what passes for professionalism than count me out. Ugh!

I'm going to disagree on "sorry," but....

I so totally know what you mean about "I hate to tell you this..." Oy!

[Oeditpus Rex]

28. Not particularly, no

I've had a pretty good day, and I'd kinda like to hang onto the feeling it's given me.

But I utterly despise boardroom-speak, and I shall not rest until it's wiped off the face of the Earth.

Accordingly, it's hard for me to understand why someone would be upset by the word "folks" in the workplace or elsewhere. I find it rather charming, actually.

"Gal," though — whenever I hear that, I think, "Why don't you just take the next half-step to 'little lady'?" Or, go dance by the light of the moon your own damned self.

[Pacifist Patriot]

50. Hey, winked at you.

*pout*

I didn't really think you were looking to be pissed off.

[JVS]

60. Enlist me in your holy crusade, my liege!

[laconicsax]

38. Sorry, I hate to tell you this, but

If someone says, "I hate to tell you this, but..." then they're telling you directly that they don't hate to tell you. Throwing "but" in the middle of a sentence tends to negate everything that came before it. It's the basic meaning of the word. They may not realize it, but it's the truth. (See how their not realizing it doesn't matter anymore?)

BTW, I'm not sorry, and I didn't hate to tell you this.

[datasuspect]

51. 'Professionalism' is crap

i agree with you.

it's pretty much just plain old bullshit and puffery.

the lingua franca of middle managers and company men.

the mental state of shallow pates, nincompoops, and boobs.

[redqueen]

75. Same here... it's all crap.

Puffery... that's a great word for it!

[JVS]

59. "it is what it is" I hate that. I promise to always say the following in that phrase's place...

"And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold says so" Then I will do an appropriate gesture and crack open a beer.

[fizzgig]

5. i use folks when addressing groups of men and women

if you've got a gender neutral alternative (other than people, which sound snarky to me), let me know

[Pacifist Patriot]

7. "Everyone, can I get your attention?"

"Excuse me everyone, I have an announcement to make."

[fizzgig]

10. everyone is a good one

i never said i was the brightest bulb in the box ;)

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

27. You're nicer than me.

"Alright motherfuckers, get your asses over here. We got shit we need to do."

[MediaBabe]

69. Just had to inject profanity, did ya?

I wonder why. Imagine a nice conversation continuing to be nice merely because you left that unsaid...

[Lautremont]

73. I think he was joking!

[Pogue.Mahone]

72. Devil Dog!

i was going to suggest "herd". "alright herd, listen up!" :P i also use "ladies" and "girls" a lot...99% of the folks i work with are guys. :)

[JVS]

61. I always say "You people"

[Fox Mulder]

8. I don't see anything wrong with the term "folks".

:shrug:

I use it all the time.

[WinkyDink]

11. If the people ARE your "folks" (kith and kin), fine. Otherwise, it's condescending.

[Fox Mulder]

12. How is it condescending?

I'm curious.

[pitohui]

36. that's because there is nothing wrong with the term "folks"

there is something wrong with folks looking to get worked up about nothing and there is something wrong with people who think they are grammar teachers and yet they don't know basic vocabulary and grammar

"folks" is fine, keep using it

[LisaM]

9. LOL, I just don't like it! It sounds so, well, so......

FOLKSY.

It is better than saying "gal", but I guess my larger point is, how do I get these words out of general usage? Any ideas?

[supernova]

16. Your other option is to use "Ladies and Gentlemen"

and tune out others who use words you don't like.

Folks and gals is pretty much common usage.

It'd be a Sisyphean task to get everyone you know to stop using those words.

[LanternWaste]

55. HA! If I knew the answer to that...

"how do I get these words out of general usage? Any ideas?

HA! If I knew the answer to that, the words 'dis', 'woo woo thinking' and 'meh' would carry a penalty of up to ten years in county lockup. :evilgrin:

[youthere]

14. You'd probably be better off learning not to let it upset you.

[MediaBabe]

68. That's the only real remedy, isn't it? n/t

[DS1]

17. I can't stand "folks"

and not only because Rush uses it a lot.

[youthere]

18. I've always preferred...

"LISTEN UP ASSHOLES!". Direct and effective.

[supernova]

20. Also gender neutral

:rofl:

[Cabcere]

22. My high school physics teacher used to tell this story

about how a friend of his (a university professor, I think) dealt with a group of noisy students who wouldn't quiet down at the beginning of class. He would start out speaking in a normal tone of voice, and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention?" When that didn't work, he would raise his voice, and say "Students!" And finally, when that didn't work either, he would yell "ASSHOLES!" at the top of his lungs. That got the desired result, and as the students stared in shocked silence, he would proceed to calmly say, "All right, now that you've correctly identified yourselves, let's get started." :P :hi:

[pokerfan]

42. And when you want to tone it down a bit

"I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE!"



Seriously, I don't see a problem with using folk.

1. Usually, folks. (used with a plural verb) people in general: Folks say there wasn't much rain last summer.
2. Often, folks. (used with a plural verb) people of a specified class or group: country folk; poor folks.
3. (used with a plural verb) people as the carriers of culture, esp. as representing the composite of social mores, customs, forms of behavior, etc., in a society: The folk are the bearers of oral tradition.
4. folks, Informal.
a. members of one's family; one's relatives: All his folks come from France.
b. one's parents: Will your folks let you go?
5. Archaic. a people or tribe.
–adjective
6. of or originating among the common people: folk beliefs; a folk hero.
7. having unknown origins and reflecting the traditional forms of a society: folk culture; folk art.
—Idiom
8. just folks, Informal. (of persons) simple, unaffected, unsophisticated, or open-hearted people: He enjoyed visiting his grandparents because they were just folks.


—Synonyms 4. kinfolk, kin, relations, people; clan, tribe.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

[Critters2]

21. "Folks" is a problem? Why? I don't get that at all.

"Gals" maybe, but not "folks". I use "folks" and so does damn near everyone I know.

[no name no slogan]

23. Better than "guys"

She could be saying, "Okay, guys, let's get going"

[Critters2]

25. Geez, everyone here does that. My confirmation class is all girls,

and I'm constantly calling 'em "guys". I even try to be conscious of it, but still do. It's Midwestern for "y'all".

[no name no slogan]

26. "Midwestern for y'all"

No truer words have been spoken in this forum :rofl:

As a fellow midwesterner, I catch myself saying it all the time, too. I've made an effort to not use it, but it's become so common that you just can't help yourself. :)

[KitchenWitch]

62. exactly!

:D

[MassLiberal]

30. oops, I say "guys" AND "folks"

but usually in a kind of jovial tone of voice, so does that make it okay?
:shrug:

p.s. I don't care for "gals" unless it's used in a jokey way, as in "Hey, gals, what's up?"

[no name no slogan]

31. That's usually what I end up with

a mix of both "guys" and "folks".

Unless I'm at work, then it's always "Hey you fuckheads, please quit breaking the fucking system already".

[Quantess]

29. Would you like it better if she said "y'all"?

"Y'all listen up! Ya hear?"

[Book Lover]

32. Learn to live with the fact that it is not possible for you to change

someone else's behavior.

Out of curiosity, what *do* you want to be called?

[bertha katzenengel]

33. She was a big-boned gal from Southern Alberta -

you just couldn't call her small...


whaddya gonna tell k.d.?

;)

[1gobluedem]

34. When you find out, tell me

They both drive me crazy too. Especially 'gal.'

[pitohui]

35. wow, try getting over yourself

this is definitely not normal

there is nothing wrong with the perfectly good english words "folks" and "gal"

how is "ok, people, we have to work on this" any better or different than "folks," er, it isn't

[1gobluedem]

37. Sorry, but 'gal' seems very condescending to me

Kind of like 'fella.' I'd prefer to be called a woman than a gal.

[Inchworm]

40. I don't mind the use of "folks"

"you people" always strikes me a bit funny though.

I am not in a real professional setting very often though. I am totally un-PC though as I think about it. I use dude, chick, guys, girls, folks, ya'll, youn's, youngins, chilluns, or whatever comes out of my mouth.

:shrug:

[DarkTirade]

41. You could just use 'y'all' instead.

"Okay y'all, we need to work together on this!" :shrug:

[Jamastiene]

43. Not liking being called "gal," I understand.

What's wrong with "folks?" Folks is just folks, ya know?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

44. Whatever you do, DON'T move to Buffalo.

[Xithras]

45. WTF is wrong with "folks"?

For those of us with German heritage, it's still a common term. "Folks" is derived from the German "Volks", which just means "People". Do you find it offensive when you hear hispanics refer to each other as "hombre" too? In regions where most of the population is of German heritage, it's extremely common.

I've used folks all my life. I'm an adjunct college professor, I own a successful business, and am professional in every sense of the term. Folks is simply part of my vocabulary, and is a perfectly acceptable ethnic colloquialism.

I can see the issue with Gal, because it has connotations related to past sexism and discriminatory behavior in this country. I rank it right up there with "Honey" and "Little Lady" (when said to an adult woman) on my "Crappy things to say to a chick" list (tongue firmly in cheek there).

But "Folks"? Really? How can Folks possibly be offensive?

[harmonicon]

46. quit?

There's nothing wrong with saying "folks", and I think "gals" is a generational thing. I say "guys" as a gender-neutral thing, but my dad would say "guys" or "gals", depending on gender. So what if this person says "gals"? You don't like it? So frickin' what.

[Adsos Letter]

47. So...you folks done in this thread...?

...ask the gals to shut the lights off when they leave... :D

[Maraya1969]

48. Move to New York or Jersey

[Heidi]

49. You'll have a lot better luck changing your own reaction than you'll have changing others' behavior.

That's my experience, anyway.

[datasuspect]

52. that is an eminently positive way to look at it.

no person can "make" you "feel" anything.

each person is in charge of and responsible for their own feelings, emotions, coping, and reactions.

[Heidi]

58. My own experience is that irrational fear is a huge limiter of human potential.

That may sound like some nutty, New Age-ish, Tony Robbins-esque, touchy-feely way to approach life, but I've seen many, many people rise above brutal poverty, injustice and all sorts of physical, mental and spiritual obstacles to achieve great things, simply because they refused to give in to irrational fear. At the same time, I've seen people of great wealth, privilege and every possible physical, mental and spiritual advantage do absolutely nothing of merit in their lives due to irrational fear.

But maybe this is the wrong thread for this discussion. :shrug:

[Serial Mom]

54. Join my husband in a campaign against those words

The same ones have been bothering him for years!

[mike_c]

56. raised in the south, I say "folks" all the time....

Ya'll northern folks just need to get over it.

[Phillycat]

57. "Folks"? Really? That's such a...non-offensive word.

Now "gals" I don't like, because it's short for "girls" and I'm a full-grown woman thankyouverymuch and don't need to be called a "girl" or a "gal" at work. "Ladies, may I have your attention?" is fine, if it's an all-female group. But "folks" is so innocuous, so plainspoken and almost comforting, I can't imagine taking offense to it. :shrug:

[marzipanni]

63. Hey, peeps (peops?) this be-otch can think of worse terms. n/t

[Ano Genitus]

64. Move out of America.

I believe this to be a mainly American disease. I hate it too.

[NashVegas]

65. Move Up North

Where it's all "guys."

[Ava]

66. i take it you aren't southern?

:rofl: we use those words ALL the time.. i use them all the time.

[Jimbo S]

67. "Gal" = "Guy"

Gender equivalents. "Lady" sounds too stuffy. And I don't mind being referred to as a guy.

Same thing with "folks". I find it a laid back way to address a mixed gender group.

[havocmom]

70. You don't. I do not recall your appointment as word monitor

And the rest of the folks here would surly have started a dozen threads congratulate you.

[SteppingRazor]

71. The only time "folks" bothers me is when people only use it to describe black people.

As in "black folks," but "white people."

That drives me bonkers. :grr:

[redqueen]

74. You can't.

[Lautremont]

76. "Folks" is pretty hayseed, much like holding a cigar at a right angle to your fingers.

Beyond that, it doesn't particularly bother me.

[Vanje]

77. Ask her to use the inoffensive...

"Buckaroos and Buckarettes"

Thats how I address my co-workers. No complaints.

Sometimes I say, "Earthlings listen hence!"

[Gidney N Cloyd]

78. How about "you mugs"? Or just "youse"?

[Crabby Appleton]

79. Resign in protest (All Three)

that'll show'em.