A VP who I work with (major fundie)

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

just used the "f" word to describe homosexual men, which I find very offensive.

He was looking at a travel website and there was an ad for a gay cruise. He said, "I'm never going to this website again. I don't want to see those ________." I wasn't the only one in his office (there was another lady; she acted like nothing had happened.).

I looked at him like was from Mars. I said, "________, that word is very offensive to me." and walked out. I was so pissed. After about 10 minutes, I went back to his office and said, "Look, I was serious. My sister's brother in law is gay (DU: even if this weren't the case, I'd be offended), and I thought it was extremely inappropriate of you to use that word." He acted like, "Whatever."

Did I do the right thing? I think so, but some people are worried he might get rid of me (I don't actually report to him; he and I report to a Sr. VP) for standing up for what I think is right.

Your thoughts DU'ers?

PS. Btw, he also thinks John Lennon was satanic. I'm a big Beatles freak. I said, "Yeah, he sang about peace and love. That's really evil stuff."

[msanthrope]

1. Document the incident---with Human Resources

And keep hard copies of everything in your home. That way, if he does try to get rid of you, you have the makings of a lawsuit...also, you might just get rid of a bigot.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

2. Unfortunately, I live in an at-will state.

They can get rid of you for any reason. Not that this is related, but my boss took me to lunch a while ago and said the president had been trying to get rid of the bigot for not performing to standards. This could be a nail in that coffin.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

3. The president of the company sits in an office right down the hall

and can pretty much hear everything.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

10. Well, I gotta go back to work (I came home for lunch so I could "DU"

for a bit). Thanks; I'll check this thread later.

Love you guys! :)

[Ano Genitus]

4. My thought is that this guy sounds like an unpleasant dementoid.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

5. He gives off this air of snobbiness; he's always talking about

trial lawyers this and that...how he wish celebrities would just "shut up and sing..." Grrrr...

Oh, and the killer is when he said that Sean Hannity is "a good guy."

Demented for sure.

[unpossibles]

17. ah yes - the old "celebrities should not have or speak opinions"

unless of course they are right wingers. I'm sure he's fine with Rush Limbaugh or Nugent speaking their opinions.

[LeftinOH]

6. Sign him up to get on the Westboro "Baptist Church" email list...

..he sounds like he's just their type of person.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

7. Pardon my ignorance, but what is that?

[LeftinOH]

13. The Westboro Baptist Church.. if you google those three words

a hell-storm of offensive material will show up. Many DUers are quite familiar with who those people are- and we all should be; these people are a menace. This is a real church (more like a large extended family) headed by a monster named "Reverend" Fred Phelps. Here's the Wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church

[Ikonoklast]

12. Hell, sign him up for the gay cruise

Tell him he won a free trip.

I'll chip in a few pesos for the cause.

[Iris]

8. So, you think he's going to go to the uppity ups and say get rid of Scrubdashrub because he doesn't

like the word "fag"?

Probably nothing will happen, but I admire you for standing up to him. You did it in an appropriate way - I would have gone off on a tirade like, "Well, do you think they really want to see your flabby ass on their vacation?"

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

9. Good one, Iris!

Here's a good one: people (including myself) stop him on occasion because they think he's Anderson Cooper (looks a lot like him). Once he found out that he is rumored (again, don't care) to be gay, he was like, "OMG!" What a putz.

[tigereye]

11. no, you were right!

:thumbsup:

I stopped listening to a local new music radio station here after a commentator used that word to talk about a sports team.


I was stunned.

[marzipanni]

14. If he eats lunch at his desk suggest that he listen to this-

"A True Brother"
http://www.soundprint.org/
An evangelical pastor and his gay brother make peace with each other.
Might broaden his perspective a bit.

[stuntcat]

15. He Is A TURD

A shit I mean.. he's human excrement masquerading as a VP.
I wish I had some help to offer but I just want to say I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that. No one should talk that way at work, I guess he thinks he can speak out about what a pig he is because of his position. I hope it blows over :hug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

16. Good on you. Brilliant and thanks for speaking up!

[GreenPartyVoter]

18. You did the right thing. Don't let the fundy win with his dehumanizing people schtick

[Jimbo S]

19. You have more courage than I do.

Good for you.

[Sentath]

20. Thank you

:bounce: :cry: :hi: :bounce:

[gbate]

21. Sounds like he would get along great with my co-workers.

They don't like gays, blacks, asians, etc...

One of them even had as "marriage = 1 man/1 woman" sticker at her desk. I think it's great you stood up for yourself. Some assholes need to be put in their place; however, I hope he doesn't hold it against you.

[Midlodemocrat]

22. Sounds to me like he's creating a hostile work environment. Contact HR.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

23. Update: oy vey...

After lunch, I had calmed down and thought perhaps I had over-reacted. I hoped we could talk about what happened, but didn’t want to inflame anything. I had to talk to _____ about another subject and called him to ask a question. I was on speaker phone. Once that had been resolved, he said he wanted to talk to me about what happened and picked up the phone. He brought up the subject, and I immediately apologized (guys, I don't know why?! I wasn't sorry!), and told him I may have over-reacted, BUT I found the word as offensive as “the n-word” and that it just makes my skin crawl.

He said that he was surprised at my reaction and said he didn’t mean it as a personal offense. I said I knew that it was specifically directed at me; however, it was inappropriate for the office environment. I said I was not perfect, and he said none of us are. I told him I was concerned that perhaps he might be in a contract negotiations process and he might let something slip, hence ruining a business prospect/relationship. While I said that was probably not likely, I wanted to make him aware of it.

He told me that there is a personal history which might explain why he said what he did. He intimated that while he was in the hospital for an injury, a male (nurse?) tried to come on to him. He said something like, “You don’t understand. They are like leaches, always trying to come on to you.” I thought that was a strange thing to say. I tried to diffuse the conversation with some humor and said, “Oh ____. They probably wouldn’t find you attractive anyway.”

We both laughed and it seemed like the air had been cleared.

Not so fast.

About 4:30, he got called into the president's office. The door was closed. After a while, he came out and said he'd just had his ass chewed out. I said, "Was it something I did?" He said the president told him he didn't care what he said to me and that he was being sent to "sensitivity training." He said HR was probably going to talk to me, but it might help if I write a statement and email it to them. I felt sick to my stomach (I didn't do anything wrong...he was the asshat who said the offensive word, right?).

I went back to my desk and started to write an email, but decided not to do that yet. After I got home, I wrote the account of what happened and when/if I'm asked, I'll have it ready. I'm not gonna jump the gun here.

[Shine]

27. Good! There should be zero tolerance for that kind of shit in the workplace.

You did the right thing, don't feel bad. That guy NEEDS Sensitivity Training.

I doubt he'll make that same mistake again, anytime soon.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

29. I don't think so either.

They just hired a new HR Director; I have a feeling she won't put up with this shit.

Frankly, a lot of people in that office need sensitivity training. The HR Assistant (hello???!) used to complain about guys coming onto her in the workplace.

At our holiday party, one of the guys asked if I was seeing anyone. I said, "Yes. My husband of almost 10 years, but thanks anyway."

What is this, the Dating Game or a workplace?

[youthere]

24. If he ever says in your vicinity again...

shake your head slowly and quietly say with great sadness in your voice "I'll pray for you". That ALWAYS fucks the fundies up. This will also work if he ever mentions something positive about Hannity or Limbaugh.

[Shine]

25. The guy sounds like a freak. I'd report HIM to HR.

HE'S the one who should be worried, not you.

What an idiot.

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

26. Well, I didn't have to go to HR. President of the company

apparently caught wind of what he said (see update to post)(or at least the reaction he got), and he's on notice.

[Shine]

28. I just read it and posted.

:D
We're speedy typists, aren't we?

[SCRUBDASHRUB]

30. Indeedy.

:)