Susan Sarandon Masturbated To For Old Time's Sake

[Pale Blue Dot]

Though David Unger's onanistic ritual has changed much over the past three decades, the 39-year-old copy editor told reporters Monday that he was "thrilled" to reconnect with someone he hadn't used as masturbatory fodder in years: Academy Award–winning actress and perennial sex symbol Susan Sarandon.

"It was great to fantasize about Susan again," said Unger, who had not fantasized about Sarandon since 1994, when she played a tough-but-sultry lawyer in The Client. "It just felt natural and right. Almost like I never stopped in the first place."

"She still looks absolutely amazing," Unger continued. "Susan is just as sexy as the first time I climaxed thinking about her after that midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Maybe even sexier, if that's possible. The years have been very good to her."

Sarandon's return to Unger's masturbatory repertoire occurred shortly after he rented the 2007 film Mr. Woodcock. Though Unger admits he did not enjoy the movie, he said that Sarandon's portrayal of an attractive, sexually active older woman reignited his long-dormant lust for the actress

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/susan_sarandon_masturbated_to_for?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

I wish I could say that there was no way that I could identify with this article. :evilgrin:

[seemunkee]

1. adding Mr Woodcock to Netflix

[Pale Blue Dot]

2. I can't.

Susan, I still love you, but why watch that likely piece of crap when I can google you for free?

[guitar man]

3. hence the "wood"

in "Woodcock" :hide:

she's such a babe :P